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Some-Bunny Was Cranky Today…

, , , | Right | April 14, 2009

Me: “All right, you’re all set! Here are your bags, and have a good weekend!”

Customer: “Thank you.”

Me: “And Happy Easter!”

Customer: “What was that?”

Me: “Happy Easter?”

Customer: “That could be offensive.”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “You know, some people don’t celebrate Easter. It’s offensive and rude of you to assume that.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry. I guess I did assume because you were buying plastic eggs and basket grass.”

Customer: “You see? You’re assuming.”

Me: “Would you like me to un-wish you a happy Easter?”

Customer: “And there you go with the f****** rude attitude! I celebrate Easter! I just think you need to not be so assuming!”

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *leaving* “Ignorant little f***s…”


This story is part of the Easter roundup!

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Give Me Good Ol’ Inefficiency Any Day

, , | Right | April 14, 2009

(I’m one of the fastest cashiers and often receive positive feedback from customers.)

Me: “… and your total is [total].”

Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. I added it up. It should be less than that! You need to change something!”

Me: “Alright, sir, but it will take me a minute to bring your transaction back up. Your receipt is already printed.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous! This is your fault–you rang me up too flippin’ fast! I’m sick of these stores and their flippin’ fast cashiers!” *takes receipt and storms away*

Next Customer: “Did that guy seriously just yell at you for being fast?!”

Rage Against The Earless Machine

, , , | Right | April 14, 2009

(I overheard this conversation between a self-checkout machine and a customer.)

Self-Checkout Machine: “Please take your items.”

Customer: “DON’T TELL ME WHAT THE F*** TO DO! WHAT? DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID? YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE MY S*** HERE?!”

When Political Causes Collide

, , , | Right | April 10, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, where is this table made? It’s not made in China, is it?”

Me: “Yes, I do believe it’s made in China.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you would sell things from China.”

Me: “Well, we have a factory there that makes custom furnishings directly for us. I assure you they’re of the highest quality.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t shop here! This is an outrage!

Me: “I don’t see the problem…”

Customer: “The problem is that they do animal testing in China!”

Me: “Um, this is a table.”

Customer: “They still do animal testing!”

Me: “Well, I assure you no animals were harmed during the building of this table.”

Customer: *storms out*

Howard Hughes Goes Shopping

, , , , | Right | April 10, 2009

(I had just finished a customer’s transaction, and was gathering up the change.)

Me: “All right, your change is–”

Customer: “Wait… I don’t like people touching my money… is there any way I can just take it out of the drawer myself?”

Me: “…um, no.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do? I don’t want you to contaminate it with germs!”

Me: “…get a debit card?”

(He leaves with his contaminated money, quite annoyed.)