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For (Not) Cryin’ Out Loud

, , , | Right | February 11, 2010

Customer: “How much is that bracelet in the display case?”

Me: “It’s $50.”

Customer: “Wow, that’s expensive, but it’s nice. I’ll take it.”

Me: “Okay, so your total is $50. We’re out of the store’s jewelry boxes, but I’d be happy to give you a gift bag for the bracelet.”

Customer: “But you have some nice boxes here on the counter, and the bracelets in them are cheaper than the one I’m buying. Why don’t the more expensive bracelets come in a box?”

Customer’s Son: *looking embarrassed* “Mom, she doesn’t decide the prices.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Maybe there’s a wristwatch box that I can put this in.”

(I get a box from the watch department and show it to the customer.)

Me: “Is this box ok?”

Customer: “This box…” *points to the jewelry boxes on the counter* “…is so much nicer. Can’t you take the bracelet out of the box and switch it with this one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, those bracelets are attached to the boxes.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom, just take the watch box.”

Customer: “Can you at least switch the price tags?”

Customer’s Son: *looks at her mom incredulously*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take it anyway, but I’ll have you know that I’m crying inside!”

Some Customers Never Let You Down

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2010

Customer: “Where are the escalators and lifts?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. The lift is reserved for people who are unable to use the stairs, and there are no escalators. There is a staircase just over there if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “But those are ‘down’ stairs. I need to go back up.”

Me: “Ma’am, stairs go both up and down. That is why we have stairs instead of escalators.”

Customer: “But I need to go upstairs, and you don’t have any ‘up’ stairs. Are you trying to trap people here?”

Me: “You know what? Let me show you the lift.”


This story is part of our Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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May Contain Scenes Of Flippered Violence

, , , | Right | February 10, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for a movie. It has two actors in it.”

Me: “Which two actors?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “What was the movie about?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know any part of the movie?”

Customer: “There’s a huge conflict in the middle of it.”

Me: “That could be almost any one of these movies.”

Customer: “Oh, here it is! March of the Penguins!”

(Please Go) Back To The Future

, , , , , , , | Right | February 10, 2010

(I work in a small store in Oxford when a busload of tourists comes in to buy large quantities of sweets.)

Tourist: “We’re stocking up. We’re going to Stratford-on-Avon to see Shakespeare’s house.”

Me: “Okay, but why don’t you just buy it when you get there?”

(Several tourists stop what they are doing.)

Tourist: “They sell candy in the 16th century?”


This story is included in our Candy roundup!

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Sorry, This Store Is Full Of Yahoos

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Customer: “I called in here yesterday and put an item on hold. Do you have it?”

Me: “Let me check. Who put it on hold for you?”

Customer: “Google.”

Me: “Google?”

Customer: “Yes, Google… or Nadia.”

Me: “We don’t have a Nadia here. Do you mean Natalie?”

Customer: “No, his name was Nadia!”

Me: “His name was Nadia?”

Customer: “Yes… or Google.”


This story is part of our Wrong Names roundup!

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