Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

About To Be Charged With Something Else

| Right | June 1, 2011

Customer: “Do you sell a charger for this phone?”

Me: “We usually do, but I’m not sure if we have any in stock. I’ll have a look for you.”

(I look on our accessories wall. I’m too busy to notice the customer has walked up behind me.)

Customer: *low voice* “It’s just that the prostitutes keep stealing mine.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Did you want to know that?”

Me: “Not really.”

Immersed In His Complaint

| Right | June 1, 2011

(I am ringing out a customer who is buying a pair of swimming trunks.)

Me: “Thank you for your purchase, sir. As a reminder of the return policy, you have 90 days to return it with the receipt as long as the tags are still attached.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m going to a beach party later so I need them.”

Me: “Okay. Well, have a good time. Thanks again, and have a nice day.”

(The next day, the customer returns with the swimming trunks. The tag is still on them, but mostly disintegrated from water. The trunks smell of chlorine.)

Me: “Hi again! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Oh, is there something wrong with them?”

Customer: “No. I just don’t need them anymore.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but these can’t be returned.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not!? Yesterday, you said they could be returned as long as the tags were still on them.”

Me: “Yes, sir. But having the tag on them generally implies that they haven’t been worn.”

Customer: “This is b***s***! I would like to see your manager immediately.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir.”

(The manager comes over.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(The customer goes through the same story. He leaves in a rage, screaming that he’s going to give us bad reviews. The next day a survey report comes in. All sections are given one star out of five. The comment section reads, ‘Stupid clerk told me I could return my swimming trunks as long as the tags were still on them. I didn’t take the tags off when I wore it, but she wouldn’t return it, and accused me of wearing it. Like she knows what I did with it. Maybe I spilled water on the tags by mistake. She couldn’t know. Only I know I wore it–not that d*** clerk.’)

Bilateral Symmetry Meets Botched Schooling

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(I am organizing my area of the store when a customer and her young daughter come in.)

Girl: “Mommy, why can’t I marry my cousin?”

Mother: “Because you’re too closely blood-related.”

Girl: “What’s ‘blood-related’?”

Mother: “It means if you had a baby together, it might come out with a deformity. You know… like having two arms.”

A Dark Day For Political Correctness

, , , | Right | May 31, 2011

(Keep in mind that I’m wearing a black shirt.)

Customer: “I have a question. Can you help me?”

Me: “I’ll try, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, do you carry any construction paper?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It is right this way, if you would follow me.”

(We walk to the aisle.)

Customer: “Do you have any dark paper, though?”

Me: “Yes, we do. What color of dark paper are you looking for?”

(The customer looks at me like I’m a moron.)

Customer: “Dark paper! Like your shirt!”

Me: “Oh, you mean black.”

Customer: *gasps* “I’m sorry, but I can not believe you would say that! I feel that word is just so offensive to the colored community!”

(The customer storms out of the building, muttering about racists. The customer is white.)

Bi Now, Gay Later

, , , | Right | May 30, 2011

Customer: “Could you tell me if this store is bisexual?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You know, like men’s clothes and women’s clothes together?”

Me: “Unisex? Yes, ma’am, the store is unisex.”

Customer: “Oh, good. Do you go both ways?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can help you with all your purchases.”


This story is part of the Bisexuality roundup!

Read the next Bisexuality roundup story!

Read the Bisexuality roundup!