(I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now. My friend and I are talking about him while we’re out shopping.)

Me: “My boyfriend and his sister are both adopted.”

Friend: “Oh, that’s cool; does he know anything about his birth parents?”

Me: “Not really. He considers his adoptive family his only family.”

(We talk a bit about more about his adoption and family situation. Then we happen to run into his sister. I introduce his sister to my friend and then we go about our shopping and his sister leaves.)

Friend: “I could tell that was his sister. The two of them look so much alike!”

(For the record, he’s got dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin, and roundish features, while his sister is light haired, blue eyed, freckled, with sharp features.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Retail Store]. How may I assist you?”

Young Male Caller: “Yeah, do you guys got any purple XBox’s?”

Me: *not sure if prank or real* “No. I’m sorry, sir, but there are a lot of online sites that offer custom paint jobs for consoles!”

Young Male Caller: “Well, do you think they would be able to put a picture of my butt on one?”

Me: *now convinced it’s a prank* “Well, I’m not sure if the image will fit but I’m sure they can try!”

Young Male Caller: *click*

(We are a discount store that never has sales because our prices are already low. This year, we open on Thanksgiving evening and stay open through Black Friday, though everything is regular price. A customer walks into the store about an hour after we open.)

Me: *at cash counter* “Good evening, ma’am!”

Customer: “I heard you guys are opening now and aren’t closing until midnight on Black Friday!”

Me: “Yes, we’re going to be open all night tonight and all day tomorrow.”

Customer: “Great! I’m surprised there’s nobody here. So, what are the specials?”

Me: “Well, we actually aren’t having any sales; our prices are already rock-bottom.”

Customer: *confused* “So, everything is regular price?”

Me: “That is correct.”

Customer: *shouting* “Then why the h*** am I here? I should be at home spending time with my family, not wasting time shopping at full price! I only came because I thought there’d be a good sale! You wasted my time and took me away from my family!”

Me: *pointedly* “I agree. I don’t like being away from my family on holidays, either. Have a nice night.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

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(In my first year of college, I really ‘gothed out’ after finally finding like-minded friends and retailers in that town. I go home at weekends, so it often shocks a few people in my hometown who haven’t seen me dressed so “intensely” before. My mother and I are in a local discount store that October, where the owners really go to town in their Halloween aisle. A woman has her two young daughters with her, who are nieces of a coworker of my mother’s. They keep sneaking looks around their mother’s legs at me in all my purple-and-black glory, while we both politely ignore them and repress our giggles. When they go home, they burst into the room their aunt is in….)

Child #1: “[Coworker]! We saw a witch in [Shop] today!”

Child #2: “She was a real witch! She had black on her eyes and big black sleeves and everything!”

(I’m still not sure if it’s a compliment that she knew exactly who they were talking about….)

(I’ve recently graduated from college and am in desperate need of a job so I can start paying my student loans. I go in for an interview at a local boutique and am hired on the spot for a part-time position. The owner says she’ll call me within 48 hours to let me know when to start. Four days later, I haven’t heard anything, so I call the store…)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], and I was wondering if you had a start date for me?”

Owner: “Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner; it just slipped my mind. You’ll be starting this Saturday.”

Me: “Great! What is the dress code?”

Owner: “Whatever you are comfortable in! You can wear a dress and heels; you can wear jeans and flip-flops. We’re pretty relaxed around here.”

Me: “That sounds awesome. I’ll see y’all Saturday, then.”

(I take the owner literally and decide to wear my favorite jeans, a cute top, and some fun flip-flops on my first day. I show up and am surprised to see that both the owner and the other employee are wearing nice sundresses and high heels.)

Me: *jokingly* “I feel a little underdressed today!”

Owner: “Oh, no, you look just fine! Now, let me show you what you’ll be doing today…”

(I spend most of the day in the stock room, pricing new items and steaming clothes. Despite my extensive retail and cash handling experience, I am not allowed to use the register. At the end of my shift, I notice that I’m not on the schedule for the next week.)

Me: “Hey, [Owner], I was wondering when I’ll be working next? I am not on the schedule.”

Owner: “Oh, I made that up two weeks ago. Let me see. I am sure we’ll need you next weekend.” *pulls up the schedule* “Oh, no… not next week. We have more than enough staff working… Not the week after either… Hmm, let me pull up July’s schedule.”

Me: “Uh…July?!”

Owner: “Oh darn, I’m not seeing any needs then either!! How about this: I’ll tinker with my schedules this week and I’ll give you a call to let you know when you’ll be working again?”

Me: “Sure.”

Owner: “Great! Well, you were a great help today, and I’ll see you soon, I’m sure!”

(I give it a week. When I don’t hear anything, I decide to start applying for other jobs. I am hired almost immediately for a part-time position that is actually related to my degree. A couple months pass and I don’t hear anything from the boutique, but am doing so well at my other job that I am promoted to a full-time position. I get home the day after and see an email from the boutique owner. Please note: it is now September.)

Owner: “Hey, [My Name], I just wanted to let you know that we haven’t forgotten about you! I know it’s been a while since you’ve worked here, but I’m sure I will need you very soon!”

Me: “Actually, I just got offered a full time position at another company. Please consider this my resignation, even though I only worked 1 shift back in June.”

(I never heard anything back. I’m not sure if the owner just forgot she hired me or if not scheduling me was their way of firing me…)