(I work retail at a 24-hour convenience store. It’s about eight am and I’m working at a department that doesn’t have a lot of transactions. Because of this, we only have $5 and $1 bills in the drawer.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $16.40.”

(He’s on his phone and has yet to have even acknowledged that I’m there, just holding out a $100 bill.)

Me: “This might be a few minutes, I don’t have change for this at the moment.”

(He still ignores me, and I call a manager to go get change. My coworker and I keep calling for change every couple minutes and nobody is coming; it’s been about five minutes.)

Customer: “Are we waiting on change?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry. We don’t have the cash to break $100 in the drawer right now since it’s so early. I don’t know why a manager hasn’t come over yet.”

Customer: “Then give me ones. I don’t f****** care. Money is money. I want to get out of here already.”

(At this time I start to try to make change with $5 bills as my coworker goes to find a manager and we can’t make the change. Thankfully somebody comes a minute later and gets me change.)

Me: “I’m sorry for the wait. Have a nice day!”

(He rolls his eyes, having never gotten off the phone, and walks out. His daughter gives me a look saying ‘I’m sorry.’ After he leaves:)

Coworker: “Man, he was a jerk. Who thinks a place can make change for $100 at eight in the morning?”

(A customer approaches my register, and I scan all of her items.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Oh, I have this.” *our store never issues coupons, so I’m not sure what this is. It appears to be some sort of ad for the store from online or in a newspaper*

Me: “What is this?”

Customer: “This isn’t a coupon or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is just an ad, I think.”

Customer: “Well, can you check?”

(I go to get my supervisor, who tells her the exact same thing.)

Customer: *dejected* “Oh, okay. I thought I’d get something off my purchase.”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

(During my tenure at a major department store, we had a customer who would call all the time to have us shop for her over the phone. She was a chatty one and often just wanted to talk. This happens when a certain respiratory disease from overseas is very much in the news.)

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Store] better sportswear. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, dear!”

Me: “Hello, Mrs. [Customer]. How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m doing fine, dear, but I was calling to check up on you and the other ladies there. I know lots of your clothes are made in China, and I’m worried about the SARS. Has anyone there gotten sick?”

Me: “No, we’re fine. I… I don’t think SARS can travel on fabric.”

Customer: “Check on that, please; I’m just worried about you all there with all those clothes in from China.”

Me: “I certainly will, Mrs. [Customer]. You take care.”

Customer: “Oh, you too, dear. Watch out for the SARS!”

(I work for a third party vendor at a theme park. One night around midnight, my four-month-old son wakes me up by screaming. When I check on him, he has a 104-degree fever. I immediately put him in his car seat and race to the emergency room. I watch them do everything they can to try to bring his fever down for hours and finally admit him. Around six am I call the store to let my supervisor know that I won’t be at work that day. I fill her in on everything that has happened, including that he still has a fever of 100.)

Boss: “So I can assume you already have your replacement lined up?”

Me: “No. I don’t even have shoes on, let alone the list. And even if I hadn’t been freaked out that my son was dying, I seriously doubt that anyone would answer the phone at one am!

(My boss proceeds to scream at me that I’m a horrible, inconsiderate employee and that she’s going to write me out.)

Me: “You know what? Go ahead.” *hangs up on her*

(Later that afternoon, the owner showed up at the hospital to offer me my job back, with the next week off to take care of my son. I was there for another two years before that same supervisor fired me for getting sick at work.)

(A coworker is notorious for refusing to wear her glasses, and she can barely see without them.)

Coworker: “There’s this creep following me around and trying to talk to me. Can you try get rid of him? I finish in five minutes and don’t want him to follow me out.”

Me: “Oh, sure.”

(She points in his general direction and heads into the back to get ready to leave. I try to suss out who she meant and I eventually distract a guy to go to the other side of the store. Then she comes out.)

Coworker: “Is that you, [My Name]? Thanks for the help… OH, MY GOD! He’s there! I thought you said you’d get rid of him.”

Me: “I thought I did!”

Coworker: “Yeah, well he’s right there!”

Me: “Where?”

Coworker: “The guy in blue.”

Me: “[Coworker], that’s your dad!”

(She gave me an incredulous look and stormed up to him. She grabbed his head and got so close their noses almost touched.)

Coworker: “Oh, I guess you’re right. See you tomorrow!”