Catty-log

| Right | May 12, 2011

Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Well, you can start by telling me why every page of your catalog has the same thing on it.”

Me: “Well, that’s actually a stack of one-page information fliers for the [product].”

Customer: “Oh. Thank you.”

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The Hazards Of Playing In Water

, | Right | May 10, 2011

Me: “Hello, sir. Welcome to [golf equipment store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Where can I find the swimming pool equipment?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We only manage golf equipment.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but where’s the stuff for the pool? I mean, like filters and those tube-y things that float.”

Me: “Sir, we only sell golf equipment. Golf clubs, golf balls, and the like. We do not sell swimming pool equipment–only golf.”

Customer: “What kind of golf store doesn’t have swimming pool stuff?!”

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Either Way, He’s Talking About Nuts

| Right | May 6, 2011

Customer: *with a thick accent* “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Which aisle is the penis butter in?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “The penis butter.”

Me: *blank stare*

Customer: “Penis butter! You know, penis butter! Penis butter, penis butter!”

Me: “Oh, peanut butter!”

Customer: “Yes, pea-nut butter.”

Me: “Sorry about that. It’s in aisle 5.”

Customer: “Okay. Thank you, sir!”

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Pleased To Make Your Transmittance

, | Right | May 6, 2011

Customer #1: “Oh, look! They’ve got cape gooseberries! I’ve got to get one!”

Customer #2: “Cape gooseberries? What are those?”

Me: “They’re the round orange fruits in a husk. They’re also called Physalis–”

Customer #2: “Oh! Syphilis! Yes, I know those!”

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Must Be Gherkin You Around

, | Right | May 6, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me, miss. How many megapickles does this camera have?”

Me: “You mean megapixels? This one has 12.1.”

Customer: “No, I mean megapickles. How many does this one have?”

Me: “Uh… none?”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then! What good is it?”

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