There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People, Part 2

, | | Right | June 11, 2008

(I overheard a coworker trying to help someone choose a plant.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a nice plant for the front of my house.”

Coworker: “Alright, we have a number of excellent options to choose from. What kind of sun exposure does the spot get?”

Customer: “Well… it’s light all day, then dark at night.”

Me: *losing hope*

 

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I See Purple Triangles And Rainbows In Your Future

, | | Right | June 10, 2008

(A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)

Boy: “Can they mate?”

Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”

Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”

Me: “No, they’re all male.”

Boy: “So they can’t?”

Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”

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More Frisky Than Frail

| | Right | June 9, 2008

(A man of at least 80 years of age came up to my checkout lane. Here’s what happened as I was bagging his last item.)

Me: “Man, I just don’t think this is gonna fit in here.”

Customer, completely straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer, still straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

(Needless to say, I nearly died of laughter. If there were only more grandfathers like that out there.)

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A Little Thing Called Responsibility

, | | Right | June 9, 2008

(I walked into a game store and there was a violent car jacking on the local news where a poor couple had been killed. The only person behind the counter is a good friend of mine and an middle-aged woman walks in.)

Woman: “I can’t believe today’s violence. I blame that, the violent media.”

Me: “Yeah, people are a little crazy these days.”

Woman: *to my friend* “Can I have that Call of Duty 4 there, please?”

My Friend: “Um, who are you buying this for? It’s a little survey the store is doing…”

Woman: “Oh, of course! It’s for my 13-year-old son. ”

(As soon as she left, my friend and I busted out laughing.)

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Some Questions Should Never Be Asked, Part 2

, | | Right | June 8, 2008

(A customer approaches one of my cashiers holding two children’s t-shirts with identical logos one boys and one girls. We were having a liquidation sale and all boys’ clothing was 40% off while girls’ clothing was 50% off.)

Customer: “What’s the discount on these?”

Cashier: “One is 40% off and the other is 50% off.”

Customer: “Why are they different?”

Cashier: “One is girls and one is boys.”

Customer: “I don’t understand… what’s the difference between girls and boys?”

Cashier: *without even skipping a beat* “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”

(Cue the entire checkout line laughing.)

 

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