(We have a sale for 50% off everything.)
Customer: “So this would be free? It says 50% off everything; this is £50, so its free right?”
Me: “No, sir, that makes it £25. 50% is basically halving the original price. If it was 100% off then it would be free. Do you understand, sir?”
Customer: *Uh… nope.” *puts the items of clothing down and walks straight out of the store*
Manager: “Ah, the joys of working here!”
Me: “You can say that again.”
(During puberty I had terrible issues with my throat, which some doctors attribute to issues I had as a child that led to my tonsils needing removed. I had infections pretty much every other week, but most weren’t too bad and could easily be remedied with few painkillers. There was only one time where I had completely lost my voice over the course of the day, and needed my mum to phone in sick at work for me.)
Mum: “Hi, this is [My Name]’s mother. I’m just calling to let you know that he can’t come in today as he has a sore throat and lost his voice. We’re going to the doctor later this afternoon.”
Manager: “We really need [My Name] to phone in and tell us.”
Mum: “But he’s lost his voice. How is he meant to tell you?”
Manager: “We can’t accept a sick notice unless he notifies us personally.”
Mum: “HE CAN’T SPEAK, as in there is literally nothing coming out of this mouth! [My Name], you try…”
(I grab the phone, but only a hoarse rasp escapes…)
Manager: “[My Name], if you can’t confirm that you’re sick—”
Mum: “Is she f****** stupid?” *shouts* “HE CAN’T F****** SPEAK!”
Manager: “We’ll see about it when you’re next in…”
(Before my next shift I had a disciplinary hearing. The manager whom my mum spoke to went on a tirade about how it was the worst faking of illness she’d ever heard. I showed her my doctor’s note which said I was suffering from bronchitis, laryngitis, and oral thrush. That shut the b**** up faster than my diseased throat ever could!)
(For the past couple of days I’ve had a fever and been vomiting, so I decided to phone in sick at work the day earlier. I feel somewhat better the morning after so decide to brave the shift. Literally five minutes into the shift, however, I flee the office for the toilets and throw up whatever is left of my stomach acid and quickly succumb to the fever again. I am emerging from the toilet.)
Coworker: “My god! You look awful!” *doesn’t get too close… probably wise*
(I can barely get a word out before she demands I go to the break room while she finds the manager to write me off and send me home. I make it to the break room with some difficulty, only to find the manager in there having a drink…)
Manager: *sarcastically* “So you managed to make it in today?”
(I look over at her briefly.)
Manager: *visibly angry and speaking accusingly* “Quick recovery rate, I suppose.”
(I decided to look at the mirror to the side of me. I was literally green, glistening with sweat, and had blood-shot eyes. I heard her making suggestions of disciplinary action before I blacked out. She was never seen at that store again. I still wonder what she must have seen when I walked in.)
(My deaf grandmother and I are shopping in a retail store. My grandmother happens to be wearing the same colored shirt and pants as the employee uniform.)
Customer: *to my grandmother whose back is turned* “Excuse me… Excuse me, ma’am. I need help… Hey, lady! Are you deaf or something? Turn around and look at me!”
Me: *I don’t even bother to get my grandma’s attention* “Excuse me, she doesn’t work here. And yes, she is deaf.”
(Luckily, there was an employee nearby who made his way over to us when he heard the commotion and diffused the rude customer quickly. My grandmother never knew the incident had even happened, and I never told her.)
(I am the customer in this story, attempting to buy a candle and use a coupon that should give me a free candle with a purchase over $20.)
Cashier: “Did you find everything you needed today?”
Me: “I did thanks. Also, I have this coupon.”
Cashier: “Ma’am, this is only good with the purchase of $20 or more.”
Me: “Yes, I know.”
Cashier: “No, I mean, you need to purchase something worth $20 to get the free candle.”
Me: “I know.”
Cashier: *stares at me in disbelief*
Me: “This candle is $22.50, right?”
Cashier: “Yeah, but you have to buy it.”
Me: *getting flustered* “I know. I want to purchase this one and get a free one! Don’t you have a free gift candle to give out or something?”
Cashier: *suddenly understanding* “Oh! No, you can pick out any candle you’d like in the store and get that for free. Actually, with deal we just started running, you can actually get two free candles!”
Me: “Oh. Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry. I’m one of ‘those customers,’ aren’t I?”
(In my defence, the coupon was extremely vague. At least she was nice!)
