They’re As Cold As ICEE

| CA, USA | Right | May 4, 2017

(My first job is at a well known retail store in my home town. I work in the little café area where we sell sodas and ICEEs, among other things. The ICEE machine is out in the area for guests to fill it up themselves; however, there aren’t any refills and an ICEE costs more than a soda. Now, most employees don’t care and let the guest do whatever they want, but I won’t let people steal money from my department. Sodas and ICEEs cost money!)

Woman: *orders soda, goes to fill it up with ICEE; I can tell who ordered an ICEE by the lid they received*

Me: “Uh, ma’am, an ICEE costs extra.”

Woman: *huffs*

(Later:)

Man: “Hotdog and a soda.”

Me: “Will that be all?”

Man: “Yes.”

Me: “All right, that’s a hotdog with a soda. That’ll be $3.49.”

Man: *takes cup and fills it up with an ICEE*

Me: “Sir, an ICEE costs extra.”

Man: “But I ordered an ICEE.”

Me: “No, you said soda. I also read the order back to you.”

Man: “But I DID order an ICEE!”

(There’s no refills on ICEEs because if too many people get an ICEE, the machine can get warm and it would take 20 minutes to recapture it’s ice. Guests don’t like to wait that long. Limiting one ICEE per person allows new guests to get an ICEE and decreases the chance of the machine getting too warm with lots of refills.)

Woman: “And one ICEE.”

Me: “Okay, that’s one popcorn and one ICEE. Just to let you know, there are no refills on ICEEs. That’ll be $2.89.”

(Later…)

Woman: *comes back from shopping, goes to refill ICEE*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, there’s no refills on ICEEs.”

Woman: “Oh, you should put a sign up.”

Me: *points to sign above her* “Also, I said no refills.”

Woman: “No, you didn’t.”

(Later:)

Teenager: “Can I have a cup for water?”

Me: *suspicious* “Here you go.” *watches her*

Teenager: *puts the cup up over the soda nozzle, thinking I can’t see it, which I can’t from my angle, but then…*

(Soda faucet noise.)

Me: “I can hear that.”

Teenager: *confused* “How?”

Me: “The water sounds different. You’re just pushing a lever down and water comes out. But when you push the soda button, the machine in the back kicks up the soda syrup and makes a whizzing sound. Doesn’t matter if you put the cup up against the nozzle, I can HEAR it. A small soda is only $1.89, with refills.”

Teenager: “Can’t I just have a little with the cup?”

Me: “No.”

(Most of these stories happened daily, but one story was unique and it was magical. The ICEE machine was out of order and there was a person working on it. Anytime someone ordered it, I told them it was out of order. A man came up, ordered a soda; I read the order back to him and when he finished paying, he went up to the ICEE machine, while the mechanic’s back was turned, and proceeded to get himself an ICEE. I tried to follow him and stop him, but he ignored me and continued walking. There was a huge line waiting, so I couldn’t follow him outside the department. I gave up and went back to work, but smiled a bit inside. While the mechanic was working on the ICEE machine earlier, a bunch black stuff came out of the nozzle, and when the man put his cup under the nozzle, I saw some of that black stuff get into his cup. Although it was mostly cherry, I tried to stop him from drinking the black stuff but he ignored me. So, karma struck him.)

Send Them Straight To The Back (Of Your Mind)

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Right | May 4, 2017

(I volunteer with a rescue that operates inside a certain pet store. I wear odd clothes that look nothing like the store’s uniform. However, it can be very hard to find associates so I help out customers if they ask and if I can.)

Woman: “Where is the special diet food for dogs?”

Me: “Right along this wall.”

Woman: *picks up bag* “Do you have this in a smaller size?”

Me: “Let’s see…” *looks at the tags on the shelves* “It does look like they carry it but they are out.”

Woman: *getting impatient* “Well, go check in the back!”

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid I don’t work here, but I can try to flag down an associate.”

Woman: “What do you mean? Then why were you helping me?”

Me: *shrugs* “The rescue isn’t busy and you asked for help.”

Woman: “Well, don’t look at me! I thought you worked here!”

(Needless to say, I did not flag down an associate for her.)

New For Trump’s America: Opt-Out Republicanism

| USA | Right | May 4, 2017

(I am trying to say “thank you” more in addition to telling my customers “have a nice day.” I am a white woman, and the only customer in the store is a middle aged white man. He seems to know exactly what he wants and is at the register shortly.)

Man: “Thank you.”

Me: “Thank YOU. Have a nice day!”

Man: *as he leaves* “And Donald Trump thanks you, too.”

(I wasn’t wearing – and certainly hadn’t said – anything the slightest bit political. Apparently being white in the South automatically makes me a Republican.)

I Can’t Hear What “Your Sayings”

, | NC, USA | Working | May 3, 2017

(I am the greeter for a large electronics chain store for the holiday season. I frequently say odd or random things and I tend to mishear people when I’m not fully paying attention. The supervisor over the cashiers starts talking to a coworker at the registers while I play with the tablet that I use to look up items on the store website.)

Supervisor: *says something I don’t fully catch*

Me: “What?! It’s going to rain on my corpse?!”

Supervisor: “I can’t even deal with you…” *walks away, shaking his head*

Coworker: *through her laughter* “He said we needed to write down your quotes!”

The Cost Of Karma Is Priceless

| UK | Right | May 3, 2017

(I am paying for my purchases with a couple of £20 notes. The cashier takes them and uses one of those counterfeit detection pens.)

Woman: *in next checkout, sarcastically* “Oh, looks like someone can’t be trusted.”

(I don’t care to respond, and both notes are deemed genuine. The woman turns back to her cashier and hands them a £50 note. The cashier instantly goes for a pen and the woman gasps.)

Woman: “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. I can assure you it’s real.”

Cashier: “I have to. Anything over £10. I could lose my job if I don’t.”

Woman: “Well, maybe I could speak to a manager for you…”

(The cashier marks the note and even at a distance I can see it turn black. The woman blushes as the cashier calls for a manager.)

Woman Next In Line: *mimicking tone* “Oh, looks like someone can’t be trusted.”

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