Ghosts Of Halloween’s Past

| IL, USA | Holidays

(I work at a seasonal store that specializes in Halloween merchandise, such as costumes and decorations. As a result, we are always busiest at the end of October and have signs posted all over the store, and especially at the registers, stating that we do not accept returns or issue refunds after October 31st. It is now the first week of November, so we are already very busy with discount and clearance sales when this call comes in.)

Me: “[Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I came into your store earlier today to return the costume I bought for my daughter, but your people wouldn’t give me my money back.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but since it is after Halloween, all sales are final. We aren’t offering returns at this time.”

Customer: “But we don’t need it anymore! I don’t want to have this costume, so I want to return it and get my money back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not possible. Was there anything wrong with the costume?”

Customer: “No, but it’s after Halloween. We don’t need it anymore! Can I talk to a manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m the manager on duty today. We can’t accept a return on a seasonal item when there’s nothing wrong with it. You could always save the costume for next year and use it again.”

Customer: “I don’t want this costume for next year! I want to return it and get my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Customer: “And stop saying you’re sorry! You keep saying you’re sorry but you aren’t helping me! If you say that you’re sorry one more time then I’m going to come down there and kick your ass! Now, are you going to tell me you’re sorry again?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Well, are you going to help me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not.” *click*



| San Antonio, TX, USA | Holidays

(As I’m working, a customer approaches and asks if I can help him find pirate-themed clothes for his granddaughter. He shows me some pictures, and I get the idea that he really likes pirates.)

Customer: “You probably think I’m weird. You probably don’t even know that September 19th is…”

Me: “Talk Like a Pirate Day?”

Customer: “Yes! Okay, we’re buddies now.”

(He hugged me, and wandered off towards our Halloween supplies. A bit odd, but I was smiling for the rest of the day!)


This Trick Works A Treat

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Holidays

(I work at a large retail store. After Halloween, Halloween decor, costumes, and candies are marked down, decor at 50% and candy at 30% respectively. I have stayed late to cover for a call out.)

Me: “Hey, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, perfectly.”

(I proceed to ring up the items in the basket all of which are Halloween markdowns.)

Me: “Okay that will be $19.67.”

Customer: “Wait, those LED trees were supposed to be 50% off at the register.”

(I look and the original price is thirteen dollars and they are marked down in the system to $6.50.)

Me: “Yes. They are 50% off.”

Customer: “No! they were supposed to be 50% off at the register!”

Me: “Well, it is 50% off.”

Customer: “If they aren’t 50% at the register then we don’t want them.”

(Trying not to roll my eyes I void the items and put them in the go back bin.)

Me: “Okay, the total is 12 dollars.”

Customer: “The candy was 30% off at the register!”

(I look at the line growing behind them and price check every candy and find that yes, they all are 30% off. I offer to give them a dollar off just to get them out of my hair and they refuse, wanting the 30% off, so I call my manager.)

Manager: “Hey, what’s the problem?”

(They explain the issue and like me she checks and finds everything in order.)

Customer: “But it’s 30% off at the register.”

Manager: *sounding more than a little annoyed at this point* “If I give you five dollars off then would you be happy?”

Customer: “Hmmm, I guess.”


Someone Needs Some Weekend Cheer

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(I open my store on Saturdays. On the way there I have to merge onto the highway slowly due to heavy traffic. A middle-aged couple in an SUV in the next lane apparently decide I’m not going fast enough and try to merge ahead of me, but I move up to prevent this. The man leans on his horn and yells obscenities out the window at me; I just wave and continue on my way, not thinking anything of it until I pull into the parking lot at work and the SUV comes speeding in. As I am walking to the door, the man gets out and starts yelling.)


Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

Him: “YOU FLIPPED ME OFF, YOU F****** C***!”

Me: “First of all, no, I didn’t. Second, even if I had there’s no law against that. Third, you tried to cut me off. Now if there’s nothing else, I have a job to get to.”

(At this point, this grown man who is at least old enough to be my father starts pointing and laughing like a little kid.)

Him: “Haha, you have to work today, you f****** loser! If you weren’t so stupid and lazy you’d have a real life!”

(I’ve heard enough. I take out my phone.)

Me: “Sir, did you need to buy something when we open?”

Him: “Hell, no, I—”

Me: *interrupting* “Then at this time I’m going to call the police.”

Him: *screaming again* “WHAT THE F*** FOR, YOU DUMB C***?”

Me: “Well, let’s see: you followed me here; that’s harassment. You threatened me with bodily harm, also a crime. You said you have no intention of buying anything at this store, and we’re not even open yet, so right now you’re trespassing on private property. The station is less than a mile from here so once I make this call officers will be here in about a minute. Maybe you’d like to make fun of them for working on a Saturday, too?”

(Needless to say, he got back in his car and took off, yelling a few more obscenities along the way while his wife flipped me off out the window.)


Looking For The Magic Beans

, | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It is a Saturday and I am working as a cashier with one other coworker, whom I am training that day. We are currently featuring many Brand items for the month so the retail employees are familiar with the products. A lady approaches my coworker about some jelly beans she likes and had bought at another one of our stores.)

Customer: “I’m looking for some jelly beans I like. I don’t remember the name, though.”

(She describes the packaging to my coworker and it sounds like a Brand item we have.)

Coworker: “I think we have what you’re looking for but let me double check.” *she waves me over*

(The customer describes the packaging again.)

Me: “Yes, I believe we have that. It’s a [Brand] mix. I can go get one for you.”

Customer: “No, these jelly beans were not [Brand]. I don’t like [Brand] jelly beans.”

Coworker: *turning to me* “I don’t think we carry any other brands, do we?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, ma’am. We only carry [Brand] jelly beans.”

(The customer starts getting mad and her friend comes over.)

Customer’s Friend: “But we got some at another store [in this chain]! Why don’t you have them?”

Me: “All of our stores carry the same products, with exceptions on the clothing. I can show you what we have, but I’m afraid all our jelly beans are [Brand].”

Customer: “I hate [Brand] jelly beans! I am positive the other ones I got before were not [Brand].”

(My coworker then decides to walk away and just go get the item that sounds like what the customer wants.)

Coworker: “This is what we have.”

Customer: “That’s it. I guess you little girls know what you have in your store now.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I guess you know that you like [Brand] jelly beans now, too.”

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