Her Facebook Is Going Down The Toilet (Paper)

| Mena, AR, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I am usually a cashier, but, in some circumstances when the business is slow, a manager will ask me to put up things that were left behind at registers. I’m busy returning some toiletries to the toilet paper aisle when I see a woman staring indecisively at a package of toilet paper in her hand.)

Woman: “Hmmm.”

(She places the package into her buggy and continues to stare.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

Woman: “Oh, no! I’m fine.”

(She turns away from me and pulls her cellphone out of her back pocket. Quickly, she snaps a photo of the toilet paper lying in her cart.)

Woman: “Wow, that’s a good picture! I’m going to put it on Facebook.”

(Pleased with herself, she smiled and threw the package back onto the shelf. I, confused, moved along with my returns, shaking my head in disbelief.)

Almost Had The Devil To Pay

| Kansas City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

(I’m ringing up a woman who has her young daughter with her.)

Me: “Okay, it looks like your total today will be $6.67.”

(The woman stops what she’s doing, puts a protective arm in front of her daughter, and is looking at me with wide eyes.)

Customer: “What was the total?”

Me: *a bit confused but then realizing* “…Oh! Six sixty seven.”

Customer: *relaxing* “Oh, good. I was about to have to add something else on the sale so it would change the price.”

You Can’t Make Up This

| Murfreesboro, TN, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at a cosmetics counter in a department store. A lot of men like to joke as they walk by, saying something like “Will you put some makeup on me and make me prettier?” My answer is always the same. This man, however, one-upped me.)

Customer: “Will you put some makeup on me?” *laughs*

Me: “If you want to sit down, I will!”

Customer: “All right, put some eyeliner on me and let’s see if my kids notice!”

(I put some brown eyeliner on him and he left to go find his family, but not before insisting I take a tip from him. He ended up shoving five bucks in my uniform pocket and just walking away. About ten minutes later, he walked back by.)

Customer: *loudly whispering* “They haven’t even noticed yet!”

(Thanks, random man, for making me smile and buying my coworkers and me Cokes with your tip!)

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Hats Off To Your Patience

| Honolulu, HI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work in a hat store in a hotel. If they’re guests of the hotel, they can ask to do room charges. A woman comes in with a coupon that she wants to use on a previous purchase. We are allowed to do this but the hat needs to be in good condition. I’m training someone so I’m trying to do everything by the book.)

Customer: “I’m just trying to get my discount. I’m not going to return the hat.”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am. But this is policy and we are in the process of training new employees so I’m trying to do everything by the book.”

Customer: “Well, it’s a waste of time.”

(Right away I know she is going to be a difficult customer. She leaves to get the hat from her hotel room and comes back. I do the return. Because the purchase is originally a room charge, she has two options.)

Me: “Would you like it back in cash or to put it back on your room?”

Customer: “Just change the original amount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid that’s not possible. The amount has already been charged. We can refund the amount to your room, though, or give you the cash difference.”

(She looks at me like I’m crazy.)

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, when your husband made the purchase, he put on a room charge. That has already been charged. We would have to process a refund order.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just change the amount from the first order?”

Me: “Because the amount has already been charged to your room. I can give it to you back in cash or do a refund order.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. Just change the amount. It was just yesterday. Just change it.”

(At this point, I’m smiling because I’m ready to smack a b****.)

Me: “Ma’am, the amount has already been added to your room. We are required to process all room charges at the end of the day. We can give you a refund—”

Customer: “I just want you to change the amount.”

Me: “Ma’am, I told you, we cannot do that. The hotel has already charged it. We cannot un-charge it and change the amount. We have to give you a refund.”

(Customer looks at me like I’m stupid.)

Customer: “Well, then what do I do now?”

Me: “Like I said, we can give you the refund by either making another hotel order or giving it to you in cash.”

Customer: “So you can’t just go back and change the order?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Like I said, the hotel has already processed it. But we can give you a refund in either of the two forms.”

Customer: “Well, I still don’t understand but I guess you can just refund it to my room.”

Me: “All right. The amount is $9.42.”

Customer: “I thought my refund was $40 dollars.”

Me: “The coupon is ten percent off. Your purchase was $94.23 cents.”

Customer: “Oh. Is it only $9?”

Me: “Yes, because that is ten percent of $94.23.”

Customer: “Are you sure the coupon is not more?”

Me: “Would you like to look at the coupon again?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. Just get it done.”

(I take out the form for a room charge. I fill out the paperwork. I have to call the front desk to confirm. It’s the afternoon so they are super busy. It takes a long time.)

Me: “I’m sorry. They’re quite busy right since people are checking in.”

Customer: “Are you sure you can’t just change the amount? That way I won’t have to wait.”

(Honestly, if I wasn’t training someone, I would have yelled at her.)

Judging Thee Judgemental

| Butler, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

(We sell unique gifts and adult items. The Steelers are in the playoffs and we’ve patched the game through the sound system. Everyone is in a good mood even though we’re working Sunday when a girl and her boyfriend come up buying a couple of marital aids that we sell. I will also add that this job, while retail, is great because when every other item in the store has profanity written on it they don’t care about you giving a little attitude to snotty customers.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “Pretty well; how are you?”

Me: “Doing great. It’s a good day here and I’m happy because the Steelers are winning.”

Customer: “Don’t you think it’s sad that a football game makes you happy?”

Me: “It probably would, but then I remember I’m not the one judging the quality of other people’s happiness while buying sex toys on a Sunday afternoon and I feel a bit better.”

(She got super quiet and glared at me while she paid and the boyfriend looked he was going to pass out from holding in laughter.)

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