(A job seeker comes in looking nice, wearing a crisp suit and tie, and seeming to have everything together. In my opinion, this is a perfect choice for the job he is applying for in minor management. Halfway through his application:)

Applicant: “I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Applicant: “It says here, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a crime?’”

(Now, I’ve heard this before, and I expect the usual explanations of speeding tickets, or some other minor crime that we really don’t care about.)

Me: “Yeah?”

Applicant: “What about if you’ve been charged with one?”

Me: “Uh… depends, I suppose. What charge, might I ask?”

Applicant: “Trafficking, and possession with intent.”

Me: “I… I’d just list that.”

(Needless to say, we didn’t hire him. Apparently, he was out on bond and had just left court when he decided to apply.)

Friends, relatives, and being a store employee do not mix. Everyone is friendly when things are going well, but the first time you’re out of an item, those closest to you become horrors.

I work in a farm store. One day, a fairly distant relative of mine stopped by with her elderly father, intent on purchasing a tiller to go on the back of his tractor. I greeted them extra-warmly and gave him my discount, which I’m not even supposed to do for extended family, based on the store rules. Everything went fine until I accompanied them to the front parking lot to assist in loading.

These implements come in wood crates. Typically, we unlock the item and then use a forklift to load said item into the back of a pickup or onto the bed of a trailer. Liability prevents us from helping the customer tie the item down or handle it in any other fashion. Most of the time this is no issue and both parties leave happy.

Back to our situation: We were barely out of the building when I noticed they had driven the actual tractor to the store, and fully intended to hook the tiller on and haul it home that way. I shouldn’t have even offered to un-crate the item, but did because after all, they were family. I did, however, tell them that I cannot help hook the tiller up to the tractor. The relative’s father would have to do it on his own. That’s when all hell broke loose. Once the old man got wind of this, he let loose with a string of obscenities that would have made a sailor blush.

Being confronted with such rudeness made me want to bend the rules for them even less, so I stood my ground and told him that our insurance carrier would not be pleased if I (or he) was injured due to an accident hooking the item up. His daughter stood silently as he rained F-bombs on me, referring to me as “stacked s***” and other cute terms of endearment, offering nothing in the form of an explanation or apology for his actions. To make a long story a little shorter, he begrudgingly pinned the tiller to his tractor himself, cursing me out the entire time, and then recklessly drove out of the parking lot as fast as he could go, barely missing other patrons’ vehicles.

A few weeks later, his daughter came in the store by herself. As luck would have it, I was running register and she ended up in my lane. I did my best to make small talk. God only knows why she thought I would care, but she brought up her father. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist. I said, “Oh, by the way, how is he doing? In good health?” She looked at me strangely and said that yes, he was okay. I responded with, “Oh, I’m terribly sorry to hear that; hopefully things will turn around soon. Have a nice day!” She gave me a blank stare and then walked out quietly.

(I work at a chain retail/pharmacy store. Every few months, there is a donation option on our pin pads. It is the first question the customer is asked on the pin pad. This transaction is going on as normal. I tell the customer his total and he turns to the pin pad to pay with his card. On our screen, we can see if they click the donation option. He clicks on the $10 option.)

Me: “Did you mean to donate $10?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, thank you. I only asked because customers often mistake that for cash back.”

(He then also gets $10 in cash back. The screen always asks if the total is correct. He clicks ‘yes.’ I give him his receipt and cash and he leaves. He comes back a few minutes later.)

Customer: “Add this up! This ain’t right!”

Me: “What exactly is the problem, sir?”

Customer: “This thing charged me $10 twice!”

Me: “You did want to donate $10, correct?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want to donate anything!”

(I’m at a fairly popular art store, looking for more paints, when I hear this conversation from behind a shelf:)

Mother: “Go put the paints on the counter and ask to put them on hold. It’s fine; people do it all the time.”

Teenager: “Mom, couldn’t you just hold two of them? I’m carrying everything, and you’re just holding your purse.”

(I slowly turn the corner and pretend to look at more paints while eyeing this mother, and this obviously uncomfortable teenager holding five tubes of paint and two bags.)

Mother: “Don’t use that attitude! I’m going to count to ten, and then if you haven’t put the paints on the counter, I’m going to make a scene, because you’re being ridiculous!”

Teenager: “Yeah, and you’re being childish.”

(The teen storms away to put the paints on the counter, and the cashier gives her a sympathetic glance, as the girl is very obviously shy. The mom sees me and whispers under her breath:)

Mother: “Can you believe teens these days? Always disrespectful and rude!”

(I just grimaced. What bad parenting. I feel bad for that kid.)

(I work in a photo center in a retail store. Older customers often need help with our clearly-labeled touch screens.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Did you need help?”

Customer: “Do this for me.” *hands me a camera*

Me: “I can show you how to use our machine.”

Customer: “No, my husband is sick.”