(I work as a cashier for a company that requires me to ask a set list of things during the transaction. This particular day, I am working express.)

Me: “Hi there! Did you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “And did you need any bags?”

Customer: “One.”

(I finish scanning in his items.)

Me: “And that’s everything? Your total comes to $60.14, please.”

(The customer pulls out his debit card, flashes it at me, and sticks it in the machine. He pauses, and looks back up to the display screen with a confused look on his face.)

Customer: “The ’60’ on the screen. What’s that?”

Me: “That’s your total, sir.”

Customer: “My total? WHAT’S THAT?!”

(I then had to explain what a “total” was. He paid and left after that.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 71
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 70
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 69

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

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(It’s a Saturday, and we were open for our normal hours, 9:00 am to 1:00 pm. It’s New Year’s Eve, but since it’s a short day, anyway, there is no change in our hours. It’s a common occurrence for customers to come up to the door after we’ve closed and test the door, but today is my new favorite. A customer approaches the door and we can see his shadow through the blinds. He sees the posted hours on the window.)

Customer: *dejected* “Oh, man! I just missed them.”

(The customer is quiet for a few seconds, and then tries to open the door very aggressively, turning the locked handle and shaking the door for about five seconds. Then, he gives up. It goes quiet for a moment, and then I see the shadow of the customer walk past the window, head hanging down, defeated.)

Me: *to coworker* “Did that really just happen? Did he actually verbally recognize that he missed us, but still go door-shaker on us, anyway?”

(The kicker? He didn’t actually “just miss” us. It was 1:30. He wasn’t even close.)

This story is part of the New Year’s Eve roundup!

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Read the New Year’s Eve roundup!

(I’m at a large warehouse store shopping with my husband and two daughters. My three-year-old daughter sees a gigantic box of graham crackers.)

Daughter: *starts pointing from cart* “I want those! I want graham crackers.”

Me: “No. Those are only for Gram Gram’s house. That’s why they are called ‘Gram’ crackers.”

Random Guy Shopping: *chuckles*

(I’m looking for new tiles to fill the wall in my new kitchen. I have no idea what I want yet, so I go to a store that specialises in tiles. The clerk is a middle-aged woman, trying to sound cheerful.)

Clerk: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m just browsing for inspiration.”

Clerk: “If you need inspiration, you should go to Pinterest! They have a lot of lovely things on there, and you won’t need to leave the house!”

Me: “Eh, sure… but sometimes a person just wants to browse. If I went to Pinterest, I wouldn’t have seen these lovely tiles here.” *points at the tiles I actually like a lot*

Clerk: “All right, then, have it your way.”

(After that, the clerk went to a table, picked up a newspaper, and started reading it. She didn’t look up any more. Needless to say, I didn’t buy my tiles there. And I’m still looking.)

(I’m 27, but get an average age guess of 17. I’m currently stocking the front of the store. It’s about 10 am. A man walks in and immediately makes a beeline for me.)

Customer: “You need to be in school right now!”

(I turn around to tell him that I am 27, and notice that his lanyard has an ID declaring him a teacher for a local high school. School isn’t out for summer yet.)

Me: “So do you.”

Customer: *looks down at ID* “Huh. I guess I deserved that.” *walks into store*