Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2

, , | | Right | December 20, 2007

(I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

(Customer walked off to continue their search.)

 

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Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid

, , | | Right | December 17, 2007

Customer: “What size is this rug?”

Me: *reading label* “54” x 72″.”

Customer: “So how big is that?”

Me: “In centimetres? It’s…”

Customer: “No, in inches.”

Me: “It’s 54 inches x 72 inches.”

Customer: “OK. And what colour is it?”

Me: “Lilac.”

Customer: “Right… and would it look good in my lounge?”

Me: “I don’t know… I’ve never seen your lounge.”

Customer: “No, I guess you haven’t. Do you think I have room for it?”

Me: “…”

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A Good Time To Excuse Yourself

, , | | Right | December 15, 2007

(I and others overhear this conversation between an employee and a customer.)

Employee: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this.” (Heaves a large propane tank, the kind used for barbecue grills, onto the counter.)

Employee: “Why?”

Customer: “It’s leaking.”

(At this point, all within earshot — four managers, the employee, three other employees, I, and two other customers — slowly turned our heads towards the leaking tank, careful not to make any sudden movements.)

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Zero Short Term Memory

, , | | Right | December 11, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”

Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”

Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”

Me: “With your cellphone…”

Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”

Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”

Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*

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Always Right, Even When Calling The Wrong Store

, , | | Right | December 10, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store #1]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Lumber, please.”

Me: “Sir, we do not have a lumber department.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I was just in there and I bought four boxes of roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, I think you have us mistaken for [Store #2].”

Customer: “Don’t correct me. I know where I just left from buying roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, we do not now nor have we ever sold roof shingles.”

Customer: “I have my receipt right here. It says [Store #2].”

Me: “That’s fine sir, but this is [Store #1], not [Store #2].”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

(After another 30 minutes of arguing with my manager we just transferred him to hardware so he could yell at them for not selling shingles.)

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