A Faire Amount Of Context Missing

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

(I’m back at work after a day off to attend the regional Renaissance faire, of which I’m a passionate devotee. I’m showing the pictures on my phone to a coworker, and offering as little context as possible for what I’m saying just to be funny.)

Me: “…and here’s Snorkel the dancing stunt pig, with his human daddy.”

Customer: *passing by and doubling back* “Wow, that is the greatest sentence I’ve ever accidentally overheard in my entire life.”

Walking Home For Christmas

| MO, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s the holiday season, and we’re at a crowded store when we overhear this conversation.)

Lady: “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find [item]?”

Worker: *gives directions* “Here, let me show you—”

Lady: “That’s all right. I’m sure you’ve walked about twenty miles already today.” *walks off before the worker can respond*

Worker: *somewhat to herself, smiling* “Yes, I have.”

(Needless to say, my mom and I were quite impressed with this lady!)

Feel Sorry For The Husband

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I am working in a retail store, and my shift starts at 12:30. I get in at 12:15, and see many customers so I put my uniform on, clock in early, and get to work. A woman approaches me.)

Woman: *aggressively* “I hope you enjoyed your LUNCH.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again. I shouldn’t have to wait.”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Woman: “Don’t lie to me. I was here an hour ago and you had a back in five minutes sign, to get your lunch, even though there were people who wanted to get into the store. Don’t EVER do that to your customers again.”

Me: “Ma’am, my shift doesn’t even start for another ten or fifteen minutes. Was there something you wanted help with?”

Woman: “If you keep lying like this, you’ll never find a husband.” *shows me her wedding ring with a smug look, then turns and walks out*

Refunder Blunder, Part 13

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “Hi, I want to return this watch.”

Me: “Sure thing, do you have the receipt?”

(Customer hands over receipt.)

Me: *after ringing the return up* “Okay so you’re getting $15 back on your card.”

Customer: “$15?! No, the price tag says it’s $24.99!”

Me: “Yes but you used a coupon to pay for it. You only paid $15 so that’s how much you’ll get back.”

Customer: “No, the price tag says $24.99! I should be getting $24.99 back!”

Me: *circling her total on the receipt* “Look, right here on the receipt, you used this coupon with your purchase which brought the total down to $15. You did not pay $24.99 so we can’t give you more money back than what you paid. We can only give you back what you gave us.”

Customer: “Well, that is f****** ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do. You can swipe your card whenever you’re ready to get your money put back on it.”

Customer: *snatches watch back* “Forget it. I’ll just keep it.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 12
Refunder Blunder, Part 11
Refunder Blunder, Part 10

It Has A Few Bugs In It

| MA, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Technology

(A customer comes in with a weather station, where there’s a small transmitter that goes outside to give you the outside temperature, and a bigger receiver that goes inside to show you the indoor temperature and what the transmitter is saying the outdoor temperature is. The transmitter isn’t working properly and is saying “LL” instead of a temperature. When a customer comes in with anything they claim doesn’t work, we have to troubleshoot.)

Me: “All right. The transmitter runs on batteries, so I’m gonna swap them out and see if that’s the problem.”

Customer: “Oh, those are brand new. I don’t see why that would be a problem.”

Me: “Well, sometimes it just happens, so let’s look.”

(I open the transmitter and take out the batteries, when something small and white falls out.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “…sir, I think those are maggots.”

Customer: “Well, how did those get in there?”

Me: “Bugs tend to go wherever its warm, and the transmitter must have been giving off heat.”

(The customer then proceeds to bang the transmitter on the counter, trying to get out all the maggots. Now the counter covered in maggots and I’m starting to feel sick.)

Me: “All right, sir, maybe I should take one more look at it.”

(I took the transmitter back from the customer and went to look in the battery pack, when I saw spiders start to crawl out towards me. I dropped the transmitter on the counter and ran into the back to have a panic attack alone. I came back out and the customer is still there, talking to my coworker, and wanting to get the device replaced. We told him no. Lucky for us, he left his maggot and spider infested product with us.)

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