Not Very Closed Minded, Part 25

| USA | Time

(A customer walks into the store I work at right as we are closing.)

Me: “Attention shoppers, the time is [time] and our store is now closed.”

(The customer continues to shop and I close one of our two registers. Ten minutes later the she is still there.)

Me: “Attention shoppers, the time is [time] and our store is closed.”

(Five minutes later the customer approaches the counter, and I’m relieved because it is time for me close the last register. However the customer walks past the counter and continues to shop.)

Customer: “I just need to find something to go with this!”

Me: *to Coworker* “Close register one. It’s supposed to be closed by 15 after and we can’t wait any longer.”

Me: “Attention shoppers, the time is [time] and our store is closed.”

(The customer shops for another 10 minutes before she finally comes to the register with her items.)

Customer: “I’m ready to check out now, please.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but all of our registers are closed. I can’t ring you up but I’d be happy to put them on hold so you can come get them tomorrow.”

Customer: *immediately angry* “What? You mean I can’t buy these?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but not tonight. The registers won’t even let me scan them. I’d be happy to put them on hold for you so you can get them another time.”

(Reluctantly the customer agrees. I walk her out of the store since the doors are all locked. As she is leaving she turns to me.)

Customer: *rudely* “Well, I didn’t even know you guys were closed!”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 24
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 23
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 22

Hand-Washing Your Hand Of This Customer

| Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I was working in a popular discount home decor/supply store at the returns/exchanges desk when a woman approaches with an obviously more than used frying pan.)

Me: “Hello, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I want to return this pan; it’s horrible!”

Me: “Okay, well, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Of course not! I bought it six years ago!”

Me: “Hmm, well, it doesn’t have any of the original packaging, and with no receipt, there’s really not much I can do here. Do you remember what you paid for it originally?”

(At this point, I’m really just trying to be as nice as I can. Maybe there’s some way I can figure out store credit or something, but I doubt it.)

Customer: “Not that it’s any of your business, but it was six dollars!”

Me: “Really? You bought it six years ago, for six dollars, and you expect it to still be in good condition after years of repeated use?”

Customer: “Those were six hard earned dollars, and I expect them back! This pan is a piece of crap! It should still be under warranty, though!”

Me: “Ma’am, I think they only offer warranties on cookware in a much higher price range.”

(For my own home, I only buy high quality cookware — I would never buy anything from the store I work at and expect it to last longer that a couple of months — so I am familiar with the warranty policies on some of the better known brands of cookware, not that I can even tell the brand without the packaging!)

Customer: “Well, there should be a warranty on this pan. It’s a piece of crap! And you need to refund my money. I shop here all the time!”

Me: *finally giving up* “Ma’am, there’s not much you can expect from a six dollar pan. The fact that you got six years out of it is frankly unbelievable! This is about the best six dollar pan I’ve ever seen. Besides which, there’s no proof you bought it here, as there’s no packaging, and no receipt. I’d be happy to show you where we stock the new pans.”


Me: *clueing in on how to end this* “Ma’am, this is a Teflon coated pan. May I ask how you washed it?”

Customer: “The dishwasher. What do I look like, an idiot?”

Me: “Ma’am, Teflon is handwash only; washing it in the dishwasher would void the warranty.”

Customer: “Oh, god d*** it!”

Coupon And On And On, Part 5

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer comes to the register with an arm load of items.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I left my coupon at home. Do you have any that I can use?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The coupons are sent out in the mail. We don’t get any in the store.”

Customer: “You are lying! You have plenty of coupons! I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty today.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You want me to drive all the way home and then drive all the way back just to use a coupon?! You just don’t want me to have one!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you—“

Customer: “No, forget it!”

(The customer proceeds to throw at me all of the items she was going to buy.)

Customer: *storming out)* “I am never shopping here again!”

(The customer has been back several times, asking different employees for coupons and then throwing tantrums when we tell her that we don’t have any.)

Coupon And On And On, Part 4
Coupon And On And On, Part 3
Coupon And On And On, Part 2

Growing Bed, Shrinking Brains

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these sheets.”

Coworker: “Okay, let’s have a look. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. The sheets are faulty and I want a refund!”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I brought them a couple of years ago for my queen-size bed. Last week I upgraded to a king size bed and THEY DON’T FIT. No-one told me they wouldn’t fit!”

Coworker: “…”

(The customer complained so much the matter was escalated to head office. She got her refund.)

Has Beef With Your Simple Explanation

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a convenience store that also has a kitchen and is famous for pizza. We sell pizza by the slice in a food warmer on pizza cards marked with what kind of pizza it is. My coworker has just put fresh pizza in the warmer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what does ‘beef’ stand for?”

Coworker: “Um… hamburger?”

Customer: “Why are you trying to make me look stupid, you little c***?! I’m sure I’m much smarter than you; at least I’m not stuck working in this s***ty town at a gas station! I’m sure you had your first kid when you were 14! I want to speak to your manager!”

(I am the manager on duty and have been listening the whole time. My coworker looks at me and I walk over.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Your good for nothing employee is trying to make me look stupid!”

Me: “She has only said one word since you walked up to her and started verbally abusing her. And you don’t need help looking stupid. You’re doing a fantastic job doing that on your own.”

Customer: “You’re not going to punish her?”

Me: “For what? Answering your original question?”

Customer: “Well, I demand free food!”

Me: “Not with the way you’re treating my employees. You can pay for your pizza up there.”

(The customer then stormed off to the register and continued on about how we were trying to make her look stupid while the cashier struggled to keep a straight face.)

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