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Decides To Skirt Around The Issue

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior

(I work at a clothing store where the sales associates are encouraged to dress fashionably. A very well-dressed, seemingly calm-looking, elderly woman is browsing in my section, which is mainly bikinis and the type of stuff you’d wear to Coachella. After around forty minutes of this, she stalks up to me and bellows:)

Customer: “Where’s your skirt?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: *points to the skirt I’m wearing* “Where is it?!”

Me: “Oh, sorry, this skirt isn’t from here. I bought it from a Canadian company – [Company]. You can probably order it online.”

Customer: *looking angry* “That was the whole reason I was here!” *proceeds to immediately walk out in a huff*

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What Price Loyalty?

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am working at a big box hardware store. At the time our pets policy is very lax but we stress that mainly dogs to help vision-impaired shoppers are the only animals allowed in. However, this did not stop a lot of people, especially the older customer in my line with a dog in his cart.)

Me: “Sir, just to let you know, we can only have service animals in here.”

Customer: “You know what? FINE! I hate this place! You tell your manager I’m never shopping here again and he can shove the policy up his ***!”

(The customer pays but he uses a gift card which now only has about a $5 balance remaining on it.)

Me: *about to hand the card back* “Wait, did you want me to throw this away?”

Customer: “Of course not! Why?”

Me: “You said you hated it here. You said you were never gonna shop here again…”

Customer: “Well, uh… umm.”

Me: “So, for five dollars, you’ll be back.”

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Will Need A Drink And A Smoke When They Get Home

| Sault Ste. Marie, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A customer walks up to my register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not good. I got a call people are breaking into my house!”

(I quickly scan her items.)

Me: “Do you have a frequent shopper number with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m in too much of a hurry to use it. People are breaking into my house!”

(She was buying vodka and cigarettes…)

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A Brand New Way Of Dealing With It

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(An older gentleman returns some shoes in a bag with the brand’s name on it. I think nothing of it at first because most people put their returns in any bag they have. I go through the usual process — what’s wrong with the item, do you have the receipt, etc. He says the shoes are the wrong size and he indeed has the receipt.)

Me: *looks at the receipt* “Uh… sir, you didn’t purchase these at [Store]; they’re from [Other Store] – in [Far Away City].”

Customer: “But ya’ll sell Nikes!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but you’d have to go to [Other Store]. We can’t process this.”

(I start to explain that not only can we not just take any product because of inventory purposes but the register would likely not even be able to process the return.)

Customer: *incredulously* “I’d have to go all the way to [Faraway City]?”

Me: “Um, I think they have one in [Nearby City], in the mall there, I think. Would you like me to call…?”

(He took his shoes and receipt and left.)

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Returner Burner

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal

(It is thirty minutes until closing time when a woman strolls in with a large bag of items, mostly brand name clothes – easily three hundred dollars worth of merchandise. Of course she has no receipt and so I will have to give her store credit. I process the items; there’s a lot of things so it takes a while. My phone rings and I notice it’s a call from inside the store.)

Me: *on the phone* “Customer service.”

Coworker: *on the phone* “Get her driver’s license number.” *hangs up*

(I ask the woman for her license, and while she digs for it she gets out her phone — which she didn’t dial anything nor did it ring — and pretends to tell someone she’s at [Store] doing some returns. I glance at my coworker and the people greeter, who is part of loss prevention, and they are both scowling. My coworker is shaking her head. I know they’re thinking the same thing I’m thinking. I write down her DL number and put it under my counter and continue to ring up the returns.)

Woman: *peers over my counter* “I need that piece of paper back.”

Me: *puzzled a moment, and also somewhat annoyed at having my concentration broken* “Hmm? Oh, uh…”

(I realize she wants her license number back. I don’t know what to say as I’ve never had to do a transaction this big before.)

Woman: “Can I have that piece of paper?”

(My coworker walks back by.)

Coworker: “When we do a transaction this big we have to take the driver’s license number. We keep it confidential.” *she gives me a look*

Me: “We’ll destroy it when we’re done here, okay?”

(The woman goes to the display across from the service desk, of electronic toys, cell phone accessories, etc. She picks up a set of earbuds and drops them into her purse.)

Me: “I have to scan that!”

Coworker: *quietly, to me* “Force of habit.”

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