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Fashion Is Dead(Pool)

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work in a well-known retail store. A mother comes to my register with her very preppy looking teenage daughter. The daughter is getting two graphic tees. Note that I am also female.)

Me: “So whoever picked out the Deadpool shirt has good taste!”

Daughter: *squeals* “See, Mom! I told you!”

Me: “Yeah, Deadpool is the best! He so awesome.” *the daughter just stares at her mother with the biggest grin* “I read that they finally greenlit the movie.”

Daughter: “Yeah, but I am hoping it isn’t a fan made thing going around.”

Me: “Well, if it isn’t, as long as they don’t replace Ryan Reynolds, I will be happy.”

(At this point the transaction was over and the mother and daughter were walking out with the daughter saying how much Ryan Reynolds sucked. The mother basically had the ‘kill me now’ look on her face the entire time. Score one for the nerds!)

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Fickle Over A Nickel

| Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I am working the checkout lane and an older woman comes up to my lane.)

Me: “Hi! Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She places 2-3 items on counter with her own reusable grocery bag. I complete ringing her up and she says something I can’t hear over the noise so I just smile. She walks away looking at her receipt and while I start to check out the next customer with a very large cart full of items, the old woman comes back. My store offers five cents off when you use your own bag and I completely forgot since it isn’t that common.)

Customer: “You didn’t give me my f****** nickel! I need my nickel back from my bag. Return my items right now and re-ring the order or I am going to get your manager!”

(Being in the middle of this large order, I decide giving her the nickel in my pocket is easier.)

Me: “Here, ma’am, I apologize for the inconvenience. Can I just give you my change instead so that this guest does not have to start her checkout process over?”

Customer: “NO. I want MY f****** nickel, not yours.”

(The second customer was clearly embarrassed. Meanwhile a manager came over and asked her to go to another register. She refused and we had to call security to take her out of the store.)

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Not Very Closed Minded: Employee Edition

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Time

Customer: “When do you close?”

Me: “Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “No, I mean tonight.”

Me: “Thanksgiving. We’re a twenty-four hour store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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A Cereal Liar

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior

(The store I work at lets us wear whatever we want as long as it is all black. We also wear a multi-colored, neon bright nametag and an apron. I am in the cereal aisle, standing on a ladder, stocking boxes and talking to a regular customer. She works at our City Hall and is wearing a suit. A man walks into the aisle spins around for a second and then asks the woman where a product is. I start to answer him but he angrily snaps.)

Customer: “You need to stop talking and wait your turn!”

(The woman gives her best smile and gives him convoluted directions that basically take him all through the store and then back to the cereal aisle. Ten minutes later she is gone and he is back in the aisle. He comes again to the same exact spot, spins around looking and then looks at me, throwing his hands up in frustration.)

Me: “It’s behind you.”

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Framing Your Family

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I’m showing a customer our range of picture frames.)

Customer: “How big is 8″ by 10″?”

(I pick up a frame of that size and hand it to her.)

Customer: “How big is it though?”

Me: “That big.” *pointing at the frame*

Customer: *stares at the frame blankly before moving on* “What about this?”

Me: “It’s 4″ by 5″. It would accommodate a picture that is a quarter the size of the one in your hand.”

Customer: *waving her hands wildly* “That makes no sense!”

Me: “Umm, perhaps if you tell me the size of the picture you want to frame, I can show you what we have?”

Customer: “Don’t you give me a picture?”

Me: “We have some available for purchase.”

(I show her our collection.)

Me: “Is there any that take your fancy?”

Customer: *after looking over the selection* “Do you have any with my grandchildren?”

Me: “…”

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