Time To Ship Them A Brain

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am a manager at a large retail chain store and am called over to the guest service desk to assist a customer.)

Customer: “I did an in-store pick up order but I didn’t know these items would be so big… Can I take them off the order?”

Me: “You would need to cancel your whole order and we can ring you up right now for the stuff you do want.”

Customer: “But online I got free shipping…”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “If I buy them here I won’t qualify for the free shipping…”

Me: “…?!”

(I give the guest a bewildered look and he looks back at me puzzled.)

Customer: “Do I have to pay for shipping now?”

Me: “You don’t pay shipping for in-store pick up, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Customer: “I don’t wanna risk it. I’ll just take the large items. No worries. Thanks!”

(Am I missing something?!)


Going To Leave This One Open-Ended

| Australia | Bad Behavior

(I’m doing face-up (straightening stock so it looks tidy and full) at the department store. I walk around the corner and into a new aisle, only to see a lady trying to open the sealed box of a flat-pack bookcase.)

Me: “Can I help you there?”

Customer: “I just want to get out the instructions to check something.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I figure that’s all right but decide to keep an eye on her in case she tries to steal a piece from the box; sadly, this has happened before. She opens the box carefully, takes out the instructions, reads them, puts them back in, then seals the box back up and puts it back.)

Me: “Not what you were after?”

Customer: *as she pulls out another box of the same bookcase* “Oh, no, it is! I just don’t want that one. It’s been opened!”


Give Them An Inch And They’ll Just Be Confused

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work for a salon furniture company and this customer has called in asking about the width of an item.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I was calling about [Item]. What is the width? It says 46.5″ but how long is that exactly?”

Me: “The width is as listed. The 46.5 inch measurement is correct.”

Customer: “Yeah, but how long is that? How long is 46.5 inches? How long is that exactly?”

Me: “It is exactly 46.5 inches, sir. That is the exact measurement.”

Customer: “No, how long is that exactly? Like I know is says 46.5 but how long is that??”

Me: “It is just under 4 feet, sir.”

Customer: “Cool, that is all I needed to know. Could have said that the first time.”

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