Customers Are Scarier Than Freddie

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Money

(I work in a store that sells iPhones. “Five Nights at Freddy’s” is a survival/horror game that takes place in a children’s restaurant. The player has to spend five nights as the night security guard while not getting found by the stores animatronics. If one of the animatronics catches the player, they stuff him into a spare suit and he dies. This is accompanied by a jump-scare. “Five Nights at Freddy’s” has been recently released as an iOS game. A woman walks up to my counter and SLAMS a phone on the counter.)

Woman: “I demand compensation! You people should be ashamed of yourselves!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, what did we do?”

Woman: “You’ve scarred my son for life, that’s what!”

(She turns on the phone, and it shows the title screen of “Five Nights at Freddy’s.”)

Woman: “My son played this game and it scared him so much he started crying!”

Me: “That’s, uh… what the game is meant to do. How old is your son?”

Woman: “He’s eight! He came up to me and asked if he could buy this game, and I said yes, and when he played it he started BAWLING!”

Me: “You let your eight-year-old son play a horror game?”

Woman: “Of course I did! He should be able to do what he wants!”

Me: “And what would you like for your ‘compensation,’ ma’am?”

Woman: “I demand you give me back the money for this phone!”

Me: “So, let me get this straight… You let your eight-year-old son play a horror game that we didn’t make. A horror game that is designed to scare people. He got scared, and you want the full price of the phone, given back to you, for something that did its job, that we didn’t make, was caused by your bad judgment, and, if anything, probably only cost you one or two dollars?”

Woman: “Yes!”

Me: “Get out of my store.”

Needs A Sign To Listen To The Announcement To Read The Sign

| Red Deer, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid

(My aunt works at a large retailer. A customer comes through her till on a day when the debit/credit machines are down. They have large signs posted near the doors as well as on every till. There are also announcements every ten minutes that it is a cash only day because of the blackout earlier. This day, she is working in the express lane. After scanning all the customer’s items through:)

Aunt: “Okay, your total today is [total].”

(The customer holds up his card.)

Aunt: “Today our machines are down because of the blackout; you need to pay cash.”

Customer: “I didn’t know that!”

Aunt: “We have signs up near the door and also on every till as well as right here.”

(She taps the sign that is right beside her register’s screen.)

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t read signs.”

Aunt: “We also have had an announcement about every ten minutes over the intercom about it. You must have heard it at least twice while you were waiting in line.”

Customer: “I don’t pay attention to those announcements!”

(He took cash out and left.)

Toys Aren’t Us

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid

(I work in a Toyworld store which is the Australian version of Toys R Us. People often come into the store thinking it’s Toys R Us but quickly realise their mistake.)

Me: *ringing up large order* “That will be [price].”

Customer: *places coupon on counter* “I have this coupon for 25% off.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this coupon is for Toys R Us; you can’t use it here.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that! I have this coupon and I want my discount.”

Me: “This isn’t Toys R Us…”

Customer: “Don’t tell me lies! I know what store this is! I can read!”

Me: “This coupon says Toys R Us. That sign up there, flashing, says Toyworld. My shirt says Toyworld. The register in front of you shows Toyworld. The massive sign above the door says Toyworld. Not to mention all our signs have a purple bear on them…”

Customer: “And what do you call that?” *shoves coupon towards me pointing at the Toys R Us mascot*

Me: “Sir, that’s a giraffe.”

(The customer still refused to believe me but paid full price anyway, vowing never to shop at Toys R Us again. Oh, well.)

Hold Your Tongue Or It’s Curtains For You!

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A couple of men have come into our store. I get called by a staff member to deal with them as she is feeling a bit intimidated. One of the men is rude and swearing.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “We are after curtain rods and curtains.”

(He has one of the heaviest curtains we have and one of the cheapest, lightweight rod sets.)

Me: “That rod set is more suited to a lightweight lace curtain. You will need to add extra supports but I can’t guarantee that the rod won’t bend from the weight of that curtain. I can show you something more suited.”

Customer: *walking off* “F****** h***!” *keeps on swearing for a while and then comes back* “I’m an engineer and I know what you are telling me is wrong. I don’t need any of that extra stuff. I’ve got a degree and you don’t. I know what I’m talking about; you are just trying to make me spend more money.”

(I am inwardly debating whether to tell him where he can shove his degree and stopping myself telling that he could just f*** off. I bite my tongue and say nothing while he continues on with his rant.)

Customer: “I’m right!  I know I just need… Wait a minute… S***! You’re right, aren’t you?”

(He ends up buying $700 on curtains and rods, as well as ordering another $700 worth of items. Before he leaves:)

Customer: “I need to apologise for how I’ve been acting and what I’ve been saying. You really showed tolerance and handled yourself really well when I was being abusive. I know good customer relations because I work in customer relations. You are good. Thank you.” *he leaves smiling*

Coworker: “I’m sorry I stuck you with him; I couldn’t handle him. I don’t know how you did. How did you do it?”

Me: “With a sore tongue.”

Coworker: “Huh?”

Me: “It was either bite my tongue or bite his head off. I figured my tongue was the less messy one.”

From Cashier To Corporate

| SK, Canada | Crazy Requests

(We sell somewhat expensive shoes since most items are genuine leather. I’m just a simple store associate. I live in an area of Canada where it can be very icy during winter. This lady walks in and she’s been in the store before asking the same question…)

Lady: “Hello, did you happen to get in any grips for the back of boots?”

Me: “We have inserts to put in the back of boots—”

Lady: “No, I mean on the bottom of the shoe.”

Me: “No, sorry. We don’t sell any bottom grips for shoes here. There are other stores that likely carry them.”

Lady: “That’s strange that you don’t carry them. They’re so important this time of year…”

Me: “Yes, it is, but unfortunately we are an American-run company, and we only get in specific items for the store.”

Lady: “Well, you should get some in. You should tell your manager to get some in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that wouldn’t do anything. Like I said, we are a large-scale, corporately-owned company. If you’d like, you can go to the website and try sending them an e-mail suggesting you’d like a product like that, or try giving corporate a phone call.”

Lady: *she turns away rudely sticking her nose up* “I don’t have the time!”

(Clearly she has never worked a day in her life in retail. It’s just humorous that she thought I would have the time and that me asking my manager to get in a product the company doesn’t make would accomplish anything.)

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