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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a big box electronics chain. A woman walks in the store as I’m walking by the front. As I greet her, she asks for Tax Software, a software that assists in doing your own taxes.)

Me: “Absolutely! Right this way!” *leads her to [Tax Software]* “The programs are right here! Do you need Home or Business?”

Customer: *confused* “I need [Tax Software]…”

Me: “Yep! They are right here.” *picks up a couple options and shows them to here*

Customer: “No, no. I just lost my accountant and I need my taxes done.”

Me: “Sure thing! These are [Tax Software]. There is also a [Tax Company Software] option right here as well, if you want that one.”

Customer: “I need help with this!”

Me: “Oh, that won’t be a problem at all! With either of these options, they will give you step-by-step directions on how to file your taxes by just asking you a few questions!”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I need someone to come to my house and help me with this! I have these documents—” *she tries to hand me her taxes from last year*

Me: “Um… well… we can have our agents install the software on your computer for [total], but for your own safety and security, we won’t be able to actually use the software for you.”

Customer: “I was told to come to [Store] to do [Tax Software]! I was told that you would help me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have [Tax Software] right here, but unfortunately [Store] does not offer tax services. If you’re looking for someone to do your taxes for you, may I suggest [Tax Company]? I’m sure if you drive around you’ll see signs for them. They’re pretty much everywhere this time of year.”

Customer: “Can’t you come to my house and do it for me?”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2
Too Taxing For Them To Understand

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Making Daddy Proud

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Popular

(At my store, whenever a customer does a return it usually takes two-three business days before the bank refunds the money. There is nothing we can do on our end, since the transaction is considered closed.)

Customer: *storms up to my counter* “I demand to see a manager.”

Me: “That would be me, sir. How can I help?”

Customer: “I said a MAN-ager.”

Me: *I am a 5’3” woman* “I am the MAN-ager, sir. How may I help?”

Customer: “Fine. I returned something yesterday, and the money isn’t in my account.”

Me: “What time did the return take place?”

Customer: “Like, 6-ish.”

Me: “Okay, normal return time is around two-three business days, but since you did the return after normal bank hours it may take a bit longer.”

Customer: “Ugh! Typical woman, always trying to take a man’s money.”

(This comment has pushed my buttons and I fail to stop my mouth.)

Me: “I don’t need your money; I have my own, thanks.”

Customer: “Yeah, I bet daddy gave it to you.”

Me: *stone faced* “My dad’s dead.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Uh… well, I um, bet your boyfriend gives you money.”

Me: “I’m gay, and single.”

Customer: “I, uh…” *quickly leaves*

Coworker: *turns to me* “I didn’t know your dad was dead.”

Me: “He’s not. I just throw that at them, because they don’t know how to handle it. But, I am gay and single.”

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Give Him A Dollar Thrill

| TX, USA | Money, Rude & Risque

(I am scanning up the order of a customer, who is rather elderly, and we are at the end when this happens:)

Customer: “For that $100 cash back, I don’t want a $100 bill.”

Me: *jokingly* “Okay, I’ll give you 100 ones.”

Customer: “Oh, no! That’s even worse. A man like me doesn’t need THAT much money. I’m too old to go to the strip clubs!”

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