Don’t Hand It To Racism

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I used to work at a cookie shop at the mall. At this point the customer’s cookie is wrapped and put on the counter in front of me so I can handle her money.)

Customer: “Where is my cookie?”

Me: *points* “It’s right there.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you hand it to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

(I pick up the cookie and hand it to her.)

Customer: “What, do you not touch black people or nothing?!”

(I have no idea how to react to this as she stomps off.)

Saved His Bacon

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m taking the food to an eight-top table, and everyone gets their food. One customer has ordered a breakfast sandwich on a bagel. The way that we make the sandwiches is by wrapping the meat and cheese in the eggs. It’s basically a folded omelet placed on a bagel. I can tell that the man is a little confused looking at his food, so I wait for him to ask the question.)

Customer: “I ordered bacon. Where is the bacon?”

Me: “The bacon is wrapped up in the eggs, and you will find it as soon as you bite into it.”

(I then go on to ask if there is anything else I can do for the table. For the most part, everyone is fine, and I only have to get a couple of drink refills. However, before I am able to turn around to leave, he asks again:)

Customer: “Where is my bacon? I ordered bacon on my sandwich?!”

Me: *looking at him in the eye* “Sir, it is wrapped up inside the eggs. I promise it is there.”

(I make a quick exit to get the refills and then come back. When I return, I notice that he still has not touched his food, and I am beginning to feel a little annoyed. Unsurprisingly, the first thing he says when I walk in the room is:)

Customer: “I ordered bacon on my sandwich, and there is no bacon on my sandwich.”

(Once again I let him know that the bacon is in fact on the sandwich, and that he can’t see it because it is wrapped up in the eggs. Other people at the table begin to ask me random questions about the restaurant and the area, but in the background, all I can hear is him asking for his bacon. I finally turn to the man, and in a rather harsh voice say:)

Me: “Sir, the bacon is wrapped up in the eggs. Could you please either take a bite of your sandwich or cut it in half to verify that the bacon is there before I leave?”

(The table was completely quiet and was staring at me. He took a bite of the sandwich, and found that there was, in fact, bacon in the eggs!)

Acting His Shoe Size

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

(I’m 15 and I work at my father’s sports bar. All legal except I can’t carry alcohol. I receive inappropriate comments from time to time from the intoxicated men I’m surrounded by. I am bussing a group’s table when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. They’re nice.”

Customer: “They’re a size twelve. You know what they say about big feet?”

(After realizing the situation was heading this direction I tried to come up with the wittiest answer I could muster.)

Me: “Um, big egos?”