They Won’t Stop For Muffin

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m a cook working the breakfast shift. I notice two women sitting at the bar arguing with the waitress. We no longer serve bagels due to lack of sales and a high volume of losses, this being specified on the menu.)

Customer #1: “So, do you guys serve like bagel sandwiches. You know like the ones at [Popular Chain Restaurant]?”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, but those are not offered on the menu.”

Customer #2: “But you can make it right?”

Waitress: “Is it on the menu?”

Customer #2: “No, but can you?”

Waitress: “It’s not on the menu, so I”ll have to say no.”

Customer #2: “You do make breakfast sandwiches though?”

Waitress: “Well, that is on the menu so yes.”

Customer #1: “Okay, so we’ll take the English muffin.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

Customer #1: “But I want to switch the ham for bacon.”

Waitress: “We can do that.”

Customer #1: “I’ll also want lettuce and tomato in it.”

Customer #2: “At the same time we’d like to switch the English muffin for a bagel.”

The Coupon Situation Is Fluid

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I overhear a woman complaining down the phone:)

Woman: “I ATE AT [FAST FOOD PLACE] LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT SO SICK, I HAD DIARRHEA!”

(There is a pause, with the other line presumably apologizing profusely.)

Woman: “Can I get some coupons?”

Driving You To Not Drink

| Fort McMurray, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a dual restaurant; one dining room, two counters. One is a well known Canadian coffee shop; the other is a burger place. People love their coffee, so often don’t get a soft drink from my side.)

Me: “Okay, you want a number nine with medium fries. Do you want a drink with that to make it a combo?”

Customer: “No, my wife’s grabbing coffee from [Coffee Place].”

(He pays, his wife grabs a table, and I go to wipe down some trays. My coworker hands off the food, but the customer just stands there staring at me.)

Me: “Sorry, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, don’t I get a [Soda] or something?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because literally less than two minutes ago you told me you didn’t want one.”

Customer: “Well, I should get a drink for the price I paid!” *walks off*

Next Customer: “Did he really get mad because you didn’t give him something be said he didn’t want?”

Me: “Yup. You still wonder why people don’t like this job?”