She’s A Little Girl With A Round Tummy

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I am quite short, with short, bright red hair. I am in the middle of taking the table’s order.)

Customer: “Which red-headed celebrity do you remind me of?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sorry. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, maybe?”

Customer: “No, not her.”

Me: “Cal Wilson? She’s got short red hair as well.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

(I suggest a couple of other possibilities, but she rejects them. Unable to work it out, I finish taking their order, then continue going about my business. About half an hour later, she flags me down.)

Customer: “I’ve worked out who it is!”

Me: “Oh, right, who is it?”

Customer: “Ponyo!”

Me: “…”

Moving The Line Forward By Paying It Forward

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I am about 11 years old, ordering lunch at the mall food court, from a restaurant that serves customers cafeteria style. I am alone, and there is a middle aged man in front of me in the line. I am not paying much attention to him as he reaches the register and pays, but does not immediately walk away.)

Cashier: *to customer behind me* “Just the entree, sir?”

Me: “Umm, excuse me?”

Cashier: *to me* “You need to move out of the way.”

Me: “But—”

(I realize she is not listening to me at all, and stand there bewildered as to what to do. After a few seconds, the middle-aged man chimes in.)

Middle-Aged Man: “She thought we were together. She charged me for your meal.”

Me: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even paying attention. Here, I’ll pay you back.”

Middle-Aged Man: “Nah, don’t worry about it. Have a nice day.”

(By the time I get over my shock and try to thank him, he has already walked away without another word. Nearly ten years later I still remember and appreciate it, proving that even the smallest act of generosity can have a lasting impression.)

One Sandwich, Hold The Plural

, | Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

(I am working at a very popular fast food place. I am very sick, and have tried to call in, but as we were short-handed, I am asked to come and just work the lunch rush. Since the lunch rush is over, my manager tells me to help the last two customers, who appear to be construction workers, and then I can go home. I smile brightly despite feeling like crap.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I want [sandwiches]!”

(I am confused, as he pluralizes the word and doesn’t specify the number of sandwiches.)

Me: “Sure, how many would you like?”

Customer: *glaring* “I… want… ONE… [sandwich]. Do you understand? ONE… [sandwich].”

Me: “Sure, sorry for the misunderstanding. It’s just usually when someone pluralizes a word, that means they want more than one. Would you like the meal, or just the sandwich?”

Customer: “I said ONE [sandwich]! I don’t want the d*** meal!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, give me a small fry and an orange juice.”

Me: “Sir, it would actually be cheaper for you to just get the meal, which comes with a medium fry, and then you could still get orange juice as the drink.”

Customer: “I said I don’t want the meal! Are you stupid?”

Me: “No, sir, just trying to save you money. But that’s fine. Your total is [total].”

(His total is a couple of dollars more than how much the meal would have been.)

Customer: “Wait. How much would the meal be?”

Me: “Just one moment, and I’ll total that up for you.”

(I press a few buttons, canceling out his order, and replace it with the meal with an orange juice.)

Me: “Your total doing it that way is [new total].”

Customer: “Huh. I guess it is cheaper. I’ll do that instead.”

(The customer pays, and I help the next customer in line, who is apparently one of his coworkers. This one is much nicer than the other one, and even says please and thank you. I get off work and go to change out of my work clothes so I can walk home. On my way out of the bathroom, I’m stopped by the two men.)

Customer: “Listen, I’m really sorry for how I treated you. There was no excuse for that. I’ve just had a really bad day.”

Me: “It’s okay, sir, really.”

Customer: “This is for you.”

(He hands me an apple pie, which he had apparently gotten after I had gone into the bathroom to change.)

Customer: “Your manager tells me that you are sick today, and still came in. I never would have guessed you weren’t feeling well. Your customer service is really extraordinary, and I told him so.”

Me: “Thank you so much, sir. I hope you have a much better day from here on out, both of you!”

(They wish me a good day also, and tell me they hope I feel better soon. Somehow, after that, I DO actually feel better!)

CPR = Criminally Poor Reaction

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top

(I am sitting in a diner. A man, a teenage girl, a woman, and a few other diners are sitting there eating. Suddenly, the woman falls down and starts having a seizure.)

Man: “Everybody back. I know what to do. I’ll start CPR. Somebody call an ambulance.”

(He kneels next to the woman, whose head was cut on a railing when she fell and is bleeding, and gets ready to start CPR. Suddenly, the teenage girl yells out.)

Teenage Girl: “NO! STOP! Don’t do CPR!”

(She runs over.)

Teenage Girl: “Sir, move over and let me help.”

Man: “Little girl, you don’t know what you’re doing. Get out of the way and let me start CPR!”

Teenage Girl: *shoves him out of the way* “You don’t do CPR on a seizure patient.”

(She moves the woman away from the railing and cushions her head. It’s obvious she knows what she’s doing.)

Man: “Someone grab this b****! I need to start CPR before it’s too late!”

(He pulls the girl away and she fights back. By the time she gets free, the woman has stopped seizing. The girl puts her on her side and starts giving first aid. The woman starts breathing again and turns onto her back.)

Teenage Girl: “It’s over. I told you she didn’t need CPR.”

Man: “Okay, so you were right. Move over; I’ll take over now. I know what to do.”

Teenage Girl: “No chance, mister. She’s post-ictal, and you need to stay back in case she gets combative.”

(Luckily, the woman doesn’t start fighting. As the teenage girl keeps talking to her and takes her pulse, she eventually starts responding.)

Woman: “I’m [Woman].”

Teenage Girl: “Hi. I’m [Teenage Girl]. Do you remember what happened?”

Woman: “Yeah, I laid down, and then I woke up like this.”

Man: “YOU HAD A HEART ATTACK! You’ve got to remember that!”

Teenage Girl: “You had a seizure; it’s all right to not remember it. Does anything hurt?”

Woman: “Just my back and my neck.”

Teenage Girl: “All right. I’m going to ask you to lie still; you may have injured your back. You’re doing fine. Oh, here comes the ambulance.”

(The paramedics walk in with a stretcher and lift the woman onto it.)

Medic #1: “What happened here?”

Man: “I’ll tell you what happened. This lady fell over and started having a heart attack, and this little b**** wouldn’t let me do CPR. I’m amazed the woman survived. You should have her arrested! She could’ve killed someone!”

Teenage Girl: “No, it was a seizure. Lasted about 90 seconds; she fell and sustained a laceration to her head. I’d look at that and possible concussion. Post-ictal about two minutes, seems mostly oriented and is answering questions, pulse slightly elevated, no memory of the event. She did state she’s having some back and neck pain and she fell hard, so I’d take spinal precautions.”

Man: “Just listen to her! Pretending she knows what she’s doing! I’m calling the police!”

Medic #2: “Actually, she does know what she’s doing. Pretty well, in fact.”

Man: “And how exactly do you know that?”

Medic #2: “Because we’re going to be working on the same ambulance on her shift tonight.” *high-fives teenage girl*

(The teenage girl was in fact at EMT! The man was banned from the diner and arrested for grabbing the girl.)

Acting Childish

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

(It’s my first day working at a restaurant in town. I am a dishwasher, and am told to bring cups to the front because the waitresses are too busy. I pick up a tub filled with glasses, and open the kitchen door, which is right by the bathroom.)

Small Child: “I’M COMING MOM!”

(Suddenly I feel something small ram me in the middle of my back, and I topple to the floor, still holding the tub.)

Small Child: “OH MY GOD, MY LEG!”

Childs Parent: “OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU DELIBERATELY TRIED TO HURT MY SON! YOU MONSTER! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

(The child and his parent seek out the owner. They go into a rant about how I tried to kill the small child, while I have finished limping back to the kitchen. Eventually, the owner comes into the kitchen and pulls me aside, barely able to keep a straight face.)

Owner: “Look kid, I know it’s your first day, but you can’t go around trying to kill small children. I know they are a pain in the a**, but we usually go for crippling moves, not killing ones.”

(The owner grins and walks away, before stopping for a moment and turning around.)

Owner: “Oh, and [waitress] says you didn’t drop a single glass. Keep that up and you might stick around for a while.”