Acting His Shoe Size

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

(I’m 15 and I work at my father’s sports bar. All legal except I can’t carry alcohol. I receive inappropriate comments from time to time from the intoxicated men I’m surrounded by. I am bussing a group’s table when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. They’re nice.”

Customer: “They’re a size twelve. You know what they say about big feet?”

(After realizing the situation was heading this direction I tried to come up with the wittiest answer I could muster.)

Me: “Um, big egos?”

It’ll Be With You In Two Shakes

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(Note that our milkshakes come in small and large, which are served in the small and medium soft drink cups. Our large soft drink cups have a different shape, so they can’t fit under the milkshake spinner. A customer approaches my register to order.)

Customer: “I just love your peach milkshakes! The large just isn’t big enough though. Why don’t you have them the same sizes as your drinks?”

(I explain about the machine.)

Customer: “Oh. So I can’t get an extra large milkshake?”

Me: “Well, we don’t sell that size. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Can’t you figure out how to ring one up? I just love them so much and the large is never enough!”

(I have an idea and turn to ask my manager, who is over by the drive through. She agrees, so I come back to the customer.)

Me: “Well, if you want to buy a small and a large shake, I can then combine them into the big cup. It’s the same size ounce-wise.”

Customer: “Yes! Oh, yes, I would love that. Your milkshakes are just so good!”

Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

(He pays and I go make the milkshakes. While I am, I can hear him telling other customers how awesome our shakes are and how excited he is. My coworkers are amused at me making two shakes and then dumping them into a huge cup. When it’s done, I turn back to the customer.)

Me: “Do you want whipped cream? I’m afraid the milkshake lid won’t fit since it’s not made for the bigger cup.”

Customer: “Yes! And that’s okay; I’ll drink it really fast.”

(I finish off his monster milkshake and hand it to him. He looks like a little kid who’s just met Santa.)

Customer: “Thanks so much!”

(He literally skipped out of the restaurant, drinking his shake.)

A Chain Reaction

, | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

(I stop at a regional fast food chain restaurant for dinner. As I pay, I accidentally pull out a credit card for a big box chain, but realize my mistake and switch cards before swiping. The cashier talks to someone in the drive-through…)

Cashier: “Welcome to [Big Box Chain]. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

(I’m not sure I heard that right, but then…)

Kitchen Worker: “Uh, [Cashier], you realize this is [Fast Food Chain] and not [Big Box Chain].”

Me: *loud enough they can hear me in the kitchen* “It’s my fault; I took out my [Fast Food Chain] card and he…” *trail off as I realize* “…now I’m doing it.”