(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island?)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

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Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady #1: “Um, yes.” *to Lady #2* “What are you having, dear?”

Lady #2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady #1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

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Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”

Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”

Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”

Customer: *stare*

Me: “Frozen coffee?”

Customer: “Um… Why?”

Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”

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(It must be noted the ice cream shop I worked at was in a mall, so it was pretty tiny and limited.)

Customer: “I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please.”

Me: “Sorry, we only have vanilla.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like a chocolate ice cream then.”

Me: *stares* “We only have VANILLA. I can drip it in chocolate for you though.”

Customer: “Ugh, gross! No thanks, I’ll go try McDonald’s.”

Male Customer: “Do you guys accept tips?”

Female Coworker: “Yeah, but we try to discourage it. We’d like to think our service is free.”

Male Customer: “Well, um… Here’s a tip.”

(The customer pulls out his phone number on a piece of paper. The female coworker’s boyfriend was right behind the customer.)