Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 3

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Right | August 4, 2016

(I work as an assistant manager at an ice-cream shop. It is April and sunny out and a customer has come in and bought some of our ice-cream cupcakes about one and a half hours ago. A customer storms into the store and demands to talk to the manager.)

Me: “I’m the assistant manager. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I demand that you replace my cupcakes.”

(She pulls the container with the melted cupcakes out of her bag.)

Me: “After you purchased these, did you store them in a freezer?”

Customer: “No. I left them in my car while I did my other shopping. Why would I store them in a freezer?”

Me: “Because they’re made of ice cream. That’s why they’re in a display freezer.”

(I gesture to the back of the store where our freezer sits, full of ice-cream cakes, cupcakes, and tubs of ice cream.)

Customer: “How was I to know that’s why they were in a freezer? You should tell people that they’re made of ice cream before they buy them.”

(I replace her cupcakes with new ones, making sure to tell her that they are made of ice-cream and should be kept in a freezer.)

Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 2
Common Sense Just Melts Away

Boldly Punning

| USA | Right | August 2, 2016

(My family and I are out to eat, when I seen our waiter’s name is Scotty. I am a big nerd and a fan of Star Trek.)

Waiter: “Would you like some cheese on your soup, miss?”

Me: “Cheese me up, Scotty!”

(The waiter then burst out laughing and told me I made his week.)

How Do You Like Dem Apple Pies?

, | Fulton, MS, USA | Right | August 2, 2016

(I work at a very popular fast food chain. This happens around 10:30 pm. I am working the drive-thru window.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]! How may I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to order two apple pies, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only have one apple pie left for the night. Is there anything else you would like along with that pie?”

Customer: “How much is one pie?”

Me: “Eighty-nine cents.”

Customer: “Aren’t they two for a dollar?”

Me: “It’s $1.19, actually. Plus tax, it’s $1.27.”

Customer: “You can just sell me that pie for fifty cents then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not allowed to do that.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not my d*** fault you idiots don’t have stuff prepared for customers like you should, so I should get the pie for half the price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry, but I cannot give-”

Customer: “Stop talking and listen! I’m offering to pay for the d*** thing, so you’re not GIVING me anything!”

(By this time, I’m fed up and I decide to tell my manager about it. While I am explaining what is happening to my manager, the woman is still cussing into my headset. My manager has on a headset as well, so she hears the whole thing. Right as she is about to intervene, the woman blows up completely.)

Customer: “You know what? F*** this s***! F*** this company and f*** you! I will file a complaint on your a** and have you fired, you stupid f****** b****!”

Me: *turns headset back on* “Oh, please do, ma’am. You’ll be doing me the biggest favor.”

(The woman drove off, but she never filed a complaint and I still have my job. I always make sure we have a few apple pies left over towards the night in case I ever have to encounter someone as stupid as her again.)

Giving You The Onion Ringaround

, | Yorkshire, England, UK | Working | August 2, 2016

(I’m on a break from work, so go to a fast food place to get a snack. I order eight onion rings, take the bag, go to find a seat, only to open it and find they’ve given me five chicken nuggets instead. Note that I’m a vegetarian, so it’s not as if I can just eat them anyway.)

Me: “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I ordered eight onion rings from you, and you’ve given me chicken nuggets instead.”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that! I’ll get it sorted right away!”

(She hands me another bag, and even though I doubt they’d get it wrong again, I open it to check before going back to my seat.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me… but these are still chicken nuggets. You’ve just given me eight instead of five. I ordered EIGHT ONION RINGS.”

Cashier: “Oh, wow, I’m honestly so sorry! I don’t know how this happened; I’ll sort it out for you now!”

(She hands me another bag, with five onion rings. By this point I’m so happy to not have chicken nuggets again that I don’t bother going back to complain for the third time. At least they were polite about it!)

With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 2

| Petaluma, CA, USA | Working | August 2, 2016

(A new restaurant has opened up in town, so my boyfriend and I decide to try it out. He orders a sandwich while I get the bacon cheeseburger. After taking a bite, I realize something is wrong.)

Me: “Um, excuse me. There is no bacon on my burger.”

Waiter: “Um, yeah, we’re out of bacon.” *he walks away*

Boyfriend: “Well, that’s weird they didn’t tell you. Do you want to go?”

Me: “No, no, it’s not that big of deal.”

(Later, when the check arrives, we notice something.)

Me: “Hey, you overcharged us. You charged for his sandwich and the bacon cheeseburger.”

Waiter: *looking annoyed* “Yeah, that’s what you ordered.”

Me: “But it’s not what I ate; you ran out of bacon so I only had a cheeseburger. That’s a $3.50 difference.”

Waiter: “You ordered the bacon cheeseburger. You’re paying for the bacon cheeseburger.”

(Normally, I’d let it go but we asked for the manager. He agreed with the waiter and said that it wasn’t his fault we ordered something they ran out of! We never went back.)

With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility
With No Bacon, Comes Irresponsibility

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