The Offer Is Sub-Standard

, | BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Top

(The sandwich shop I work in is only a block down the main street from a fairly rowdy nightclub. To alleviate problems we close two hours before the club does but we are often there long past closing to finish the cleanup. It is quite common for drunk people to bang on the door when it is well past closing and try to convince us to make them something. This particular night a group of four young men stumble past and one starts hollering through the locked glass door.)

Drunk Guy: “Hey, can you make me a sub?”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

Drunk Guy: “C’mon! It’ll just take a sec. Hey, you can just pocket the money and no one will ever know!”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so. Even if I wasn’t honest, we have security cameras.”

Drunk Guy: “Oh, c’mon. It’s just a sub. Please?”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed and all the food is put away.”

(By this point his friends are trying to drag him along but I can see that it’s become a rather inebriated point of pride for him to convince me.)

Drunk Guy: “Hey, I know. Tell ya what. I’ll sleep with you if you make me a sub!”

(I make a really obvious show of looking him up and down.)

Me: “And what’s in it for me?”

(He just stood there looking dumbfounded as his friends all cracked up laughing, one of them actually falling over because he was laughing so hard. Shortly thereafter they dragged him off, still in shock.)

Some Things Sadly Never Chang(e)

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I was also dining at this restaurant and overhear this conversation. Keep in mind the server is Asian, but speaks perfect English with no accent and the customer is a man, ordering everything for his family of four.)

Customer: *orders eight different sushi rolls* “We’re in a BIG hurry. We need to order and eat fast!”

Server: “I understand, but sushi takes a long time to prepare as it’s made fresh after you order it. Most people are here for more than an hour. If you’re in a hurry, sushi is probably not the best choice for you.”

Customer: “Just put the d*** order in and hurry it up.”

(After the customers get their food and eat more than half it, he asks for the server’s manager.)

Customer: “I want to complain. We’ve been here for 45 minutes and we’re just now eating. We told him we were in a hurry and he said it was no problem and we’d be done within half an hour and now we’re late. I’m not going to pay for this.”

Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir. Sushi takes a long time to create.”

Customer: “Well, Chang here said…”

Server: “Chang?! My name is Steve!”

(At this point another customer at a nearby table talked to the manager and told him that she heard what the server said and that he had told them it would be more than an hour. The manager told them to either pay up or he’d call the cops. They ended up paying, but complained loudly the whole time while using many other racially insensitive names.)

Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 3

, | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello! Thank you for calling [Restaurant]! Would you like to hear about our specials?”

Customer: “Don’t try to sell me anything. I’ll tell you what I want.”

Me: “All right, sir. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking at your menu here… You got the six-piece nuggets?”

Me: “Um… sir? You are aware that this is a pizza restaurant, right? We don’t have nuggets.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F***?!”

(I can hear the customer step away from the phone for a moment, but can still hear him ranting and raving even though I can’t make out what he’s saying.)

Me: “Sir? Hello?”

Customer: “—AND TWO OF THEM IN YOUR A**-HOLE!”

Me: “You have a nice night, sir.” *hangs up*

Related:
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
Giving A Pizza My Mind

Customer Service Is Over(reaction)

| State College, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

(In the restaurant I work in we’re allowed to talk back to the customer if they’re being out of line. We’re open late, so a large portion of our customers are well past drunk. This occurs on an otherwise slow Sunday night.)

Me: “Hi, what can i get for you?”

Customer: “I want some chicken tenders and some fries. Do you have something like that?”

Me: “Sure, you can get the combo platter for [price], unless you want a side of sauce. Then it’ll be a bit more.”

Customer: *heavy sigh* “How much is a side of sauce in this f****** dump?”

Me: *instantly irritated because I’ve been nice so far* “Excuse me? Did you just call my store a f****** dump?”

Customer: *stares blankly at me*

Me: “You can leave now.”

Customer: “Why? I was just kidding.”

Me: “It didn’t sound like you were kidding when you insulted my place of business. It also wasn’t even remotely funny, so I don’t know how you could consider that kidding.”

Customer: “But I was just kidding. I really want the food.”

Me: “So you want to insult me, and then have me smile and serve you? No. It’s not gonna happen. You and your friends can leave any time now.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because I don’t appreciate your attitude, and I don’t want to serve you. Did I call you f****** ugly?”

Customer’s Friend: “That’s uncalled for!”

Me: “Why? I was just kidding. That makes everything better, doesn’t it?”

(They ended up leaving, looking confused as to why I was upset. The other customers were laughing at them as they left. I told the owner of the store about it the next day. He just laughed.)

Board-ering On Insane

, | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a Mexican fast food restaurant and some of our tacos come with a cardboard sleeve to help keep the ingredients from spilling. A customer orders one to try. A few moments later I see my register worker staring in amazement into the lobby. It turns out the customer is taking bites out of his taco AND the cardboard instead of removing it. We watch as he eats the whole sleeve with his taco. A few moments later…)

Customer: “I just wanted to say I loved my burrito but the taco seemed dry.”

Me: *trying to keep a professional face* “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me make it up to you by making you another for free.”

(My coworkers and I made another taco and made sure no sleeve was on it. He smiled and sat down and ate the taco. We’re still not sure he realized what he did.)

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