Get Into The Antichrist-mas Spirit

| Ocean Springs, MS, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(There is soft Christmas music playing overhead.)

Customer: “Can you change this to Christmas music? Put it on [FM radio station].”

Me: “Christmas music is currently playing and this is satellite radio.”

Customer: “No, this is about Santa. SANTA equals SATAN! So change it to [FM radio station], now!”

Me: “Sir, once again, it’s satellite radio. I can’t change it to a local station.”

Customer: “So I have to sit here and listen to this?!”

Me: “No, you may leave.”

Doing A Fat Lot Of Good

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I pick up a double to help out a coworker. I have tables: 16 people total and one really annoying guy running me ragged with all sorts of weird requests and what he thinks are ‘cute’ jokes.)

Annoying Guy: “…and I want them to cook fat and put it on top of my steak.”

Me: “Of course, sir. I’ll bring it out when it’s ready.”

(In between then and his food, he demands several other things, as do my other tables, which is obviously making things take a little longer. Finally, his food is out:)

Annoying Guy: “Oh, you’re here? You were gone so long, I thought you didn’t work here anymore. I lost 10 pounds waiting for you!”

(I finally lose my composure a bit.)

Me: “Well, then it’s a good thing you’ve added this fat to your steak!”

They’ve Gone Off The Reservation

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the to-go counter at a restaurant, answering phone calls. Most calls are food orders, but it’s not uncommon to receive reservation requests as well. It’s a rather busy night, and there’s roughly a 30-minute wait for a table.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for twenty, please.”

Me: “All right, that shouldn’t be a problem. When should we expect you?”

Caller: “In about two minutes. We’re pulling into the parking lot right now.”

Me: *speechless*