(I’m off the clock at the fast food restaurant I work at. I’m waiting for my manager to get off, because I’m his ride home. My manager is the cashier, and there’s only one other employee besides me there. A customer walks up to the counter.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea, please.”

Manager: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

(The customer pays, and his receipt is printed off.)

Manager: “Your order number is 544, and it’ll be up shortly.”

Customer: “Can I have my drink?”

(My manager hands him a cup, since our drink station is self serve.)

Customer: “There’s no tea in this.”

Manager: “Yes, because our tea is self serve.”

Customer: “I don’t do self serve. I don’t work here.”

Manager: “So, let me get this straight, you want me to go out there and fill your cup up at our self-serve drink station?”

Customer: “Yes, like I said, I don’t work here. I shouldn’t have to get my own drink.”

(My manager turns to the other employee, who’s been listening to the entire conversation.)

Manager: “Would you fill up his drink for him?”

Employee: “No.”

Manager: “Good answer.”

(My manager turns back to the customer.)

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but I can not fill your drink for you.”

Customer: “Then give me my d*** money back.”

Manager: “Okay, here is your money, sir. Have a good night.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *walks away*

Me: “In nearly four years of being here, I’ve never seen a customer not want to fill up their own drink.”

Manager: “Same here.”

Me: “Makes me wonder though; how does he get gas? There aren’t any full service gas stations off the interstate.”

Manager: “Good point. Want a double cheese?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I have just finished ordering a pita and am next to the till waiting behind a person paying for their order. There is one person making the pitas, and two people by the till.)

Cashier #1: “Well, I’m off for the day.”

(Cashier #1 promptly moves into the back. Cashier #2 has finished handing the customer in front of me their order and is now looking at the food station behind the counter. I wait patiently for Cashier #2’s attention so I can pay for my order.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

(Cashier #2 ignores me and continues moving behind the counter. By now, I have been waiting for at least 10 minutes to pay for my food.)

Me: “Excuse me, can I please pay for my food?”

Cashier #2: “…”

(In desperation, I address the server preparing the food.)

Me: “Excuse me, can I please pay for my food?”

(The server glances at me, and then looks at the cashier.)

Server: “Why haven’t you helped this lady yet?”

Cashier #2: “I am not authorized to handle the till.”

Server: “Move over…”

(The server promptly takes over the till and allows me to pay for my food.  Meanwhile, Cashier #2 still hasn’t moved; she’s staring at a piece of paper I assume to be the schedule.)

Cashier #2: “…Can I go on break?”

(I’m male, and my boyfriend and I are sitting at a restaurant having dinner. We have been looking at rings for our engagement the previous weekend, but had decided that we would propose to each other on our own time. Currently gay marriage is still illegal in California.)

Boyfriend: “So, I know you want to have a ceremony. When were you thinking about having it?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know. Not immediately that’s for sure. First off, it’s still illegal, and we also have like four weddings to attend this year.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, well that’s good.”

Me: “Why?”

Boyfriend: “Because I have your ring at home.”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: “If you had said you wanted a ceremony immediately, I would have kept the ring for a little while. But since you’re willing to wait, I can give it to you now.”

Me: “Did you just propose to me?”

Boyfriend: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, I guess I accept then…”

(I gave him his ring a couple of months later, and we’re planning on getting married within a couple of years.)

(We are having a really bad drought in the North Island at the moment, so we have some serious water restrictions. It’s the top of everyone’s mind, and everyone’s talking about it.)

Me: *to customer at drive-thru* “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Okay, here you go. Wow, it’s going to be another scorcher today, huh?”

Me: “I know, I’m just about to go do a rain dance.”

Customer: “I know how you feel. We’re on tank water, and it’s running a little low for us.”

Me: “Well, in town we’ve just got all the regular restrictions; we’re not watering and stuff. My mum’s so upset; she’s lost her entire veggie garden because she can’t water during the day.”

Customer: “That must be pretty hard on her. We’re doing okay, because we’ve been so careful and everything.”

(My coworker hands me her meal, and I hand it straight out.)

Me: “Here you go, all done!”

Customer: “Wow, that was fast! Thanks!”

(I think she’s about to drive away, so I move to shut the window.)

Customer: “Hang on! Can I see your manager, please?”

(Confused, I grab the manager on the floor.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “I just wanted to tell you how lovely it is to get a pleasant employee at the drive-thru window. This young lady has been talking to me the entire time I was here, and it made the time absolutely fly. You so rarely get pleasant people in the service industry. I just wanted to say how nice she was. Thank you, and have a good day!”

(With that, she drives off. My manager gives me a thumbs-up, and I feel good the rest of my shift. Sometimes you get some good ones!)

(There is a sizable line in the drive-thru. A rental car pulls up to order.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]; how can I serve you today?”

(The customer and his wife proceed to order. They order a lot of food. The customer has a thick French accent, and I have to ask him to repeat a few things.)

Customer: “How long is this going to take?”

Me: “Well, we’re kind of busy; it will take about 15 minutes.”

(I begin repeating the order back to the customer to verify that it’s right, but he pulls ahead while I’m still speaking. About 15 minutes later, he pulls up to the window. My coworker brings them their food when it is ready.)

Coworker: “All right, so I have [order] for you.”

Customer: “No, that’s wrong. We wanted [order].”

(My coworker is fairly new, so I decide to take over. I send the revised order to the kitchen and ask them to remake it. Five minutes later, the order is done.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Here is your order.”

Customer: “That’s not all; we want milkshakes, too.”

(I am very frustrated with this customer, but I keep it under control and ring up the milkshakes. I took five years of French class in high school, so I can understand it fairly well.)

Customer: *to wife, in French* “This place is terrible.”

Customer’s Wife: “It’s so slow!”

Customer: “And that skinny white boy is very rude.

Customer’s Wife: “Don’t be mean; he’s probably not that smart.”

(They laugh, and continue making fun of me. I finish making the milkshakes, and walk over to the window with a beaming, ear-to-ear smile.)

Me: *in French* “Thank you for your business today.”

(The man makes eye contact with me. His eyes are nearly bulging out of his head, as he realizes I have understood every word he and his wife said. I keep my eyes locked on his, and maintain my ghoulish grin.)

Me: *in French* “It was a pleasure to serve you today.”

Customer: *drops milkshakes in wife’s lap and accelerates away*