Couldn’t Think Outside The Box

| UK | Working | April 28, 2016

(I work in a pub/restaurant in a small village in the country. We have a large outdoor patio section where people can choose to eat or have a drink, which is pretty popular in summer. We are very busy in the restaurant and have many people sitting outside as well. Two customers have been drinking outside and decide to come in and ask to eat. My boss is talking to them.)

Boss: “Okay, so, here’s some menus. Tonight’s specials are up on the board there. Would you like to sit inside or outside?”

Customer: *looking around* “Well, it looks pretty busy in here. Do you have a table for two?”

Boss: “No, I’m afraid we’re full at the moment.”

(Long pause.)

Customer: “I… guess we’ll sit outside, then.”

Boss: “I have no idea why I even asked.”

Trying To Recoup With Soup

, | Duluth, GA, USA | Working | April 28, 2016

(I had decided to go to a local 24/7 diner for supper. After being seated and placing my order, I am waiting patiently when Head Waitress comes up to me.)

Head Waitress: “Sir, I’m sorry, but there’s been a delay in your order. Would you like some soup? We have chicken noodle, broccoli and cheese, Italian Wedding, chicken noodle…” *she mentioned chicken noodle two more times*

Me: “No, thanks, I’m good.”

Head Waitress: “Please, at least for me? Have some soup, or salad?”

Me: “How about some cheese sticks?”

Head Waitress: “I’m sorry, can’t do that. I can give you a bowl of soup or salad. Soup or salad?”

Me: *laughing* “Okay, I’ll have the broccoli and cheese soup.”

Head Waitress: “Very good, and again, I’m sorry for the delay.”

Me: “Not your fault. I know you’re slammed at the moment.”

(They were. There was a large party of about 15, a family in one section of the restaurant, and just about every other table or booth was full.)

Head Waitress: *over her shoulder* “Thank you!”

(I waited a few more minutes, rolling up the little paper band they wrap around the utensils, singing along to The Beatles’ “Strawberry Fields Forever” that happened to be playing in the restaurant. Later, Head Waitress brought out my soup, *and* my original meal order, which was a half-pound cheeseburger with fries. I ate the burger and most of the fries, and took the soup to go. I also ordered a slice of lemon cake to go. Always support local when you can. They try so hard sometimes, and are willing to do almost anything to earn your business!)

Repeatedly Making A Meal Out Of It

| NS, Canada | Working | April 28, 2016

(Around noon during a day out, my mother and I stop at a fast food place on one half of the building; the other half is a popular Canadian coffee shop. My mother doesn’t want anything to eat, so she goes to get coffee for herself and me while I buy myself a burger. While she is getting the drinks, I go up to the counter to make my order.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Burger] and fries, please.”

Cashier: “And what would you like to drink?”

Me: “Nothing. Just the burger and fries, please.”

Cashier: “But the meal comes with a drink!”

Me: “I don’t want a drink, though. Just the burger and fries.”

Cashier: “But you need to drink something!”

Me: “My mother is getting drinks from [Coffee Shop] right now. I don’t need two drinks.”

(She doesn’t really argue too much after that, and rings me up. My mother has gotten the coffee drinks by the time my food is ready, and when I go to get my order I am holding the drink in my hand.)

Me: “This is my food, right? Thank you. Have a nice day!”

Cashier: “Your drink hasn’t been made yet. What was it you wanted, again?”

Me: “I don’t need a drink. I have a drink right here.”

(I show her my coffee cup, and then take my food and go to sit down at a table. As I walk away, I hear the cashier calling after me…)

Cashier: “THE MEAL COMES WITH A DRINK!”

Leaping To Conclusions

| OH, USA | Friendly | April 28, 2016

(I’m out at a restaurant with one of my friends whose birthday is February 29. I’m using ketchup when I notice something on the bottle.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend], look! If you sign up for the birthday club you get a free entree every year on your birthday!”

Friend: “Screw you.”

Never Sausage A Thing Before, Part 2

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | April 27, 2016

(I work in a fast food restaurant and I receive a call one morning.)

Customer: “Do you guys even clean your grills before putting different kinds of meat on them?!”

Me: “Well, yes, of course, but we only put one kind of meat on each grill.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, my boyfriend just bit into his sandwich and said it tasted like bacon! We didn’t want bacon! He ordered a sausage and egg sandwich!”

Me: “Okay, I am sorry. It is possible there was some bacon grease on either the bread or the grill. I will talk to the kitchen crew.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! He can’t have pork; he is a Muslim!”

Me: “But he ordered a sausage and egg sandwich.”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, then… I guess I will replace that sandwich for you.”

Customer: “Good!” *slams phone*

Related:
Never Sausage A Thing Before

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