Nothing But Air Between His Bun

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a burger restaurant. We’ve just started a new promotion with two new burgers.)

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, umm… Can I try your new burger?”

Me: “Sure. Is that the cheddar burger or the Mediterranean chicken burger?”

Customer: “Uh… what’s the difference?”

Me: “The cheddar burger is a beef burger with cheddar cheese, while the Mediterranean is a chicken burger with peppers and salsa.”

Customer: “I… I don’t know?”

Me: “This one…” *points to picture* “…is our new beef burger, and this one…” *points to another picture* “…is our new chicken burger.”

Customer: “Oh right! So, can I get the new one?”

Me: “Chicken or beef, sir?”

Customer: “Uh… chicken? I guess?

Me: “So, just to check you want the Mediterranean chicken burger? This burger here?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “Okay. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “So, what have I ordered?”

Me: “This burger here, sir.” *points to picture again* “The Mediterranean chicken burger.”

Customer: “Wait, what’s in it?”

Me: “Crispy chicken, peppers, lettuce, salsa and mayo. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, sounds good!”

(I hand the customer his meal and he walks off. He’s back about 10 minutes later, with half of the burger.)

Customer: “Erm, this isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I thought you wanted the Mediterranean chicken?”

Customer: “No. I wanted the new burger. That one!” *points at cheddar burger picture*

Me: “Oh, right… Okay. I’ll just get that for you. Have you already eaten half of the chicken burger?”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry! I didn’t realise until now that it wasn’t the beef one.”

And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

(I am a 33-year-old woman managing a local fast food restaurant. I love what I do, and take pride in my job and my restaurant. I also happen to be only five feet tall.)

Customer: “Hi. I want to order catering for a party I am having tomorrow.”

Me: “Well, we typically need more notice to do a catering order. How many people are you expecting?”

Customer: “Something like 120.”

Me: “We usually can’t do something that large on such short notice, but let me see—”

Customer: “You know what? Let me talk to the manager so I don’t have to be here all day!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager. I’m not saying we can’t do it for sure. I just want to see if we have the staff scheduled, to see if I can pull this off for you.”

Customer:You are the manager? What are you, like 16? How young can you be to be a manager at [Restaurant]? They really need to start caring about their restaurants and hire some adults to run this place! I mean, it’s just kids around here! How are you supposed to run a business without any adults around?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m in my 30s, married, and have children old enough to almost work here themselves.”

Customer: “OH! You are SO LYING! How old are you REALLY?”

(I pull out my driver’s license, covering my info with my thumb, all but my birthdate.)

Customer: “Um.. uh… Sorry. You.. uh.. you… you don’t LOOK your age.”

Me: “I’ll take your shock as a compliment. Now, let me look to see if we have the staff to make your party happen.”

(I check. We did. We pulled off her party the next day.)

Related:
And The Children Shall Lead

Tree-ting The Request With Respect

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Two customers come in for lunch and want to eat outside on the deck. I take their order, bring it to them, and periodically check on them to make sure everything is going well. I come back again at the end of their meal.)

Me: “So, how was everything? Would you like dessert, or would this be all for you ladies today?”

Customer #1: “Everything was great, thank you.”

Customer #2: “It was great, and I don’t want to sound rude, but I’m going to criticize.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer #2: “You’re on the river. You should be a fine dining establishment. You shouldn’t have the trees dropping pine cones and other stuff on the deck. And you should get rid of the spider webs.”

(Customer #1 is looking at Customer #2 indicating that she would like her to shut up.)

Me: “We clean the deck off a few times a week, but the wind has been picking up lately, and stuff keeps falling from the trees. Would you like me to ask the spiders if they would kindly stop building their webs on the deck every night also?”

Customer #2: “If you would do that, that would be great!”

Customer #1: “And I suppose you want her to ask the trees to stop dropping things on the deck too?”

Customer #2: “Yes! Please do it!”

(Fortunatel, Customer #1 apologized to me as soon as they were walking out the door.)

Red Light Bulb Moment

| Germany | Rude & Risque, Top

(I am in a recently opened restaurant. I overhear this conversation at the table next to me. At the table is a large family.)

Customer: “Has there ever been another restaurant in this building? The place looks so familiar.”

Waitress: “I do not know. The building has been vacant for many years.”

Customer: “I remember the stained glass windows and the spiral stairs. I am sure I have been here before.”

(Just then, another waiter passes the table.)

Waitress: “Do you know if there has ever been another restaurant in this place?”

Waiter: “No. Until they went out of business a few years ago this place was a brothel.”

(There is an awkward silence at the table.)

Read this story as a comic!

Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

Me: “Anything else for you?”

Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, hookers.”

Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

(I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)