There Once Was a Man From Nantucket …

| Right | November 4, 2007

(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island?)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

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Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

, , | Right | November 4, 2007

Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady #1: “Um, yes.” *to Lady #2* “What are you having, dear?”

Lady #2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady #1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”


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Must … Have … Chocolate … GraAAaawr!

, | Right | November 2, 2007

(It must be noted the ice cream shop I worked at was in a mall, so it was pretty tiny and limited.)

Customer: “I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please.”

Me: “Sorry, we only have vanilla.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like a chocolate ice cream then.”

Me: *stares* “We only have VANILLA. I can drip it in chocolate for you though.”

Customer: “Ugh, gross! No thanks, I’ll go try McDonald’s.”

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One Bad Pickup Line, A Hundred Stitches

, , , | Right | October 27, 2007

Male Customer: “Do you guys accept tips?”

Female Coworker: “Yeah, but we try to discourage it. We’d like to think our service is free.”

Male Customer: “Well, um… Here’s a tip.”

(The customer pulls out his phone number on a piece of paper. The female coworker’s boyfriend was right behind the customer.)

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Sure, I’ll Get The Ones That Sing & Dance

| Right | October 27, 2007

Seafood Restaurant Customer: (While looking at the lobster tank full of live lobsters) “Do you have any fresh ones?”

Source

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