Listen For The Manager At The End

, , | Right | January 9, 2008

(I work at a well-known pizza chain; let’s call it Daddy Jim’s.)

Customer: “I’d like a large sausage and ham pizza and a large Italian Meats Trio.”

Me: “Alright, your total is [total]. We’ll have it out there in about 45 minutes.”

(An hour later as I arrive back from the delivery, the store receives a phone call from the same customer.)

Customer: “Yeah, hi. I ordered an Italian Meats Trio pizza, and you guys got it wrong.”

Me: “How did we get it wrong?”

Customer: “Well, it has sausage, ham, and some other s*** on it.”

Me: “Is the ham kind of orange?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Is the sausage peppered and brownish-orange?”

Customer: “Uh… yeah.”

Me: “Is the other stuff salami?”

Customer: “Yeah! What the h***?”

Me: “Well, the orange ham is Italian ham, the sausage is Italian sausage, and you say there’s Italian salami.”

Customer: “Yeah, so what?”

Me: “That’s three Italian meats… Italian Meats Trio.”

Customer: “Well if I had known that, I wouldn’t have ordered a sausage and ham pizza too!”

Me: “Well maybe you should have some idea of what you’re ordering before you order it.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you guys tell me?!”

Me: “Because you ordered it. You didn’t ask about it.”

Customer: *click*

My Loud Manager: “F****** morons! I hate this job!”

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It Runs In The Family

, , , | Right | January 3, 2008

(A little kid comes running up to counter and points at our menu board above my head.)

Kid: “I want that one!”

Me: “The taco or the burrito, honey?”

Kid’s Mother: “Don’t point! That’s rude. You have to tell her what you want.”

Kid: “I want the taco.”

Me: *turning to the mother* “Okay. What can I get for you?”

Kid’s Mother: *points* “I want that one.”

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Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

, , , | Romantic | December 31, 2007

(I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

Me: “They are ten-inch pizzas, sir.”

Husband: “Well how big is ten inches?”

(And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about ten inches, dear.”

(I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)


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With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility

, , , | Right | December 30, 2007

(A hospital calls to order pizza.)

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place], would you like to try the Superhero Special?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Manager: “It’s an extra-large, three-topping pizza that comes with a coupon for the Spiderman 3 DVD.”

Customer: “…the pizza’s delivered by Spiderman!?”


This story is part of our Junk Food Day roundup!

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Playing Along

, , , | Right | December 26, 2007

Me: “Welcome to [Pizza], how can I help you?”

Customer: *sincerely* “Do you have any Chinese food?”

Me: “Errr… no.”

Customer: *still earnest* “Ohhh… really? What about Thai food?”

Me: “Oh! Yes.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “No. Not really. Just pizza.”

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