(I am at a well-known dine-in restaurant with a to-go area.)

Cashier: “Hi. Welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to make a to-go order?”

Me: “I actually did online, since I had to check your wheat allergy menu. It’s under [My Name].”

Cashier: “Oh. You have Celiac disease?”

Me: “No, just a wheat allergy. I break out into hives all over.”

Cashier: “That’s too bad.” *rings me up* “I see you got a salad. Would you like some rolls with this?”

Me: “Um, no. Just the salad with my meal. I’d end up throwing the rolls away, since I can’t eat them.”

Cashier: “I’ll put some rolls in there anyway.”

(The cashier disappears for 25 long minutes, though online had estimated my meal would be done by 8:15 and I’d arrived at 8:18.)

Me: “Excuse me. About my food?”

Cashier: “Oh! Yeah. That’ll be [amount]. Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Me: “I still need my food.”

Cashier: “Oh yeah.” *disappears for 10 more minutes in the back*

Me: *to another worker* “Hi. Sorry. I’ve been here for nearly an hour waiting for my food that was supposed to be ready at 8:15. Is there any way you can check to see if it’s back there and ready? It’s under [Name].”

Other Worker: “Sure thing! I’m sorry you’ve had to wait.” *disappears in back and comes back with food* “It’s been ready for a while, it looks like. I’m terribly sorry about that. I put a free slice of cheesecake in there for you.”

Me: *not wanting to be rude or explain the allergy thing* “That was very kind of you. I appreciate it.” *hands him a $5 as a tip* “I was going to give this to your coworker, but she seems to have gotten lost off in Wonderland.”

Other Worker: *laughs* “You have no idea how fitting that is.”

(I go to leave just as the cashier comes from the back, so I don’t say anything to her.)

Cashier: “Excuse me! You didn’t tip me!”

(I am a gay male but haven’t come out to my family yet. I am house sitting for my grandma while she is in a nursing home recovering from surgery. She has set up a blind date between me and a female nurse. I don’t want to upset her and am not ready to come out, so I go. We are having a great time, but toward the end of the night I start getting really uncomfortable because I don’t want to lead her on.)

Me: “Hey, uh… I need to tell you something about me…”

Date: “Yeah… I need to tell you something, too.”

(She also seems really nervous about something, but I knew that if I didn’t go first I would never get it out.)

Me: “I’m gay. I only came on this date for Nana.”

(She starts laughing, and I am so embarrassed I get up to leave.)

Date: “No, wait. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because I am a lesbian. That’s what I needed to tell you.”

(We both had a laugh at the way Nana roped us into the date and have been close friends ever since!)

(I’m sitting at a restaurant eating and reading when I hear the customer behind me begin to talk loudly to her friends.)

Customer: “So if a car is traveling at 10 miles an hour how far will it have gone in an hour?”

(At this point I assume she sharing an anecdote or trying to make some kind of joke but it starts to sound like she’s serious.)

Customer: “Well…?”

Customer’s Friend: “Ummm.”

Customer: “If a car leaves driving 10 miles per hour, how far will it have gone in an hour? How do I figure that out? I need to figure this out…”

Customer’s Friend: “Are you hearing what you’re saying?”

Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

(It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

(I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

(At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

(The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

(Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)