(A young man comes into the store and approaches the counter. He is probably about 17 or 18, dressed all in black, with hair down to his waist and fingernails that are about two inches long.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to apply for a job.”

Me: “Okay, just fill out this application.”

(He takes the application, fills it out, and leaves. I immediately look through it. Under ‘tell us about yourself’ he wrote: ‘I am a gothic semi-pantophile. The smallest things excite me.’ We has to look up pantophile. It means someone who is sexually aroused by anything. We didn’t hire him.)

(I work in a restaurant that is beside a coffee shop, which has a small theater on its other side. I stop into the coffee shop to get something before work, and right in front of me are two young chefs on break. The theater is hosting a dance competition, so the coffee shop is full of YOUNG dancers, roughly 10 years old.)

Chef #1: “I’d love to hit that.”

Chef #2: “I know! Look at her, with that makeup and skimpy costume! She’s begging for it!”

(I glance over to where they’re pointing. She’s wearing a short skirt and leotard, similar to what a figure skater wears, and has stage makeup on, but does not have anything risqué about her look.)

Me: “Guys, you don’t want to touch her.”

Chef #1: “Why not? Those red lips could do the work.”

Me: “Look around you. All these are little kids. I used to go to dance competitions all the time with my sister. They’re all 10, and that one, she’s MAYBE 13. Maybe. You guys are 19. Do the math.”

(Both get a look of horror as they realize what they’re implying about a child.)

(We are at the drive thru.)

Employee: “Can I take your order, sir?”

Me: “Do you have sliders?”

Employee: “Yes, we do. How many would you like?”

Me: “I really don’t feel like six and two isn’t enough. Can I buy four?”

Employee: “No, sir. We only sell siders in six packs or two packs.”

Me: “Okay. Please get me four burgers.”

Employee: “Sir, would you like the two-pack or six-pack?”

Me: “I’d like four sliders please.”

Employee: “We only sell sliders in two packs or six packs.”

Me: “Okay. No problem. Just give me four sliders.”

Employee: “You don’t understand, sir. You get two burgers with the two pack and six burgers with the six pack. You can’t order four.”

Me: “Okay, well can you order me two two-packs?”

(There is a long pause.)

Employee: “Oh!”

Me: “Thank you.”

Employee: “That will be two, two-pack sliders. Correct?”

Me: “Yes.”

(After picking up the order and pulling away from the ‘pick-up’ window, I quickly realize the bag is light. Looking inside, I see only two burgers. I go back to the window)

Employee: “Sir, can I help you?”

Me: “Yes. There’s only two sliders in my bag. I ordered four.”

Employee: “Let me check the screen. Your order only says ‘two.'”

Me: “That means two, two-packs of sliders.”

(There is a long pause.)

Employee: “Oh!”

(I’m working at the ice cream window at my restaurant, where people can order cones and sundaes to go. I go back to the supply room to grab another box of plastic spoons, and realize there’s only one box there. Note that the boxes only hold about 50 spoons, and it’s a busy night in the summer, so it won’t take long to run out.)

Me: *to manager* “We’re almost out of spoons. This box is the only one left.”

Manager: “[Coworker], can you go to [Nearby Grocery Store] and pick up some more?”

(The coworker agrees and goes to get her keys, stopping to talk to several coworkers on the way out. The grocery store is 5 minutes away, but she’s gone for at least half an hour, and we’re running out of spoons quickly. She finally comes back with a tray of coffees.)

Manager: “What the h***? What took you so long?”

Coworker: “I had to get coffee for everyone, and it took so long!”

(After all that, she only came back with three boxes of spoons.)

Me: “White coffee, please.”

Server: “We haven’t got any white coffee. I do have some black coffee and some milk if that is okay?”