Gluttony Or Gluttony

| | Right | January 27, 2008

Customer: “Can I have the giant Yorkshire Pudding?”

Me: “Sure, would you like it served with Beef or Pork?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ll have beef or pork.”

Me: “No, would you like Beef OR Pork?”

Customer: “YES, beef or pork!”

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How Cows Order Coffee

| | Right | January 25, 2008

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yeah, a small coffee with 2 splendas and extra milk.”

Me: “Okay, that will be $1.49.”

(She pays and I give her the change. I proceed to make the drink. I pressed the “Medium” button for milk and then gave an extra shot. When I gave it to her, she took a sip and made a face as if she had just taken a sip of liquefied dog s**t.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Woman: “I asked for extra milk! This is too strong.”

Me: “Well, I’ll put some more in for you. No problem.”

Woman, muttering under her breath: “Idiot kid…”

(I put another “Medium” shot in. This is two mediums and one extra shot for a total of seven milks.)

(She takes another sip, with the same face.)

Woman: “What part of extra milk do you not understand?”

Me: “I understand what extra milk means. I put in about four times the regular amount of milk.”

Woman: “Well, put more!”

(I put in more. I put a “Large” shot of milk (four more). This brings our total to 11 milks, therefore being classified as milk with a little coffee.)

Me: “Here.”

(She takes another sip, and yes. Again, she makes that freaking face.)

Woman: “Look. Extra milk means you put in the regular amount, and then you put in MORE.”

Me: “I know that! That is a SMALL coffee with 11 MILKS!”

Woman: “PUT IN MORE!”

(I put in more another “Medium” shot (three more)).

Me: “Here. The coffee is almost white now.”

(She drinks it again and SPITS IT ALL OVER THE COUNTER.)

Me: “Lady, what’s your problem?”

Woman: “This coffee is cold! I ordered a hot coffee, not a cold coffee! Can you comprehend that?”

Me: “F**k this. Who’s next?”

(My shift leader was laughing in the corner the whole time. She remade this lady’s drink with one large shot of milk and gave it to her. She sipped it…”Ah, now that’s better!”)

(Everyone in line had a pretty good laugh about it.)

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Having A Hussie Fit

, | | Right | January 24, 2008

Me: “Here’s your lemonade sir, what can I get you to eat?”

Customer: “I’ll have a bowl of chili.”

(I walk to the back of the restaurant get bowl of chili and take it to him. This takes all of one minute.)

Customer, angrily: “That took far too long. Did you socialize with the other hussies that work here on your way?”

Me: “No, sir. That’s how long it takes to walk back and get the chili.”

Customer: “I’m not paying for any of this.”

(He then gets up to storm out the front door but instead runs into the door that has the “Use Other Door” sign on it. The “hussies” and I didn’t stop laughing for a good 20 minutes.)

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The Bald Truth

| | Right | January 22, 2008

(Some customers at our restaurant try to get a free meal by placing some hair in their food and then blaming the chef and refusing to pay for the meal.)

Customer: “Waiter!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “There’s a hair in my food.”

Me: “That isn’t possible, unless it was your hair.”

Customer: “It isn’t!”

Me: “Who else’s hair could it be?”

Customer: “Your chef’s.”

(I walk into the kitchen and return to the table with our chef.)

Me: “Take off your chef’s hat.”

(Chef takes off his hat, he is revealed to be bald.)

Chef, to the customer: “You were saying something about my hair being in your food?”

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Short Term Memory Is For The Weak

, | | Right | January 22, 2008

(We keep lids for our yogurt cups behind the counter and ask each customer if they need one when we give them their order.)

Me: “Would you like a lid for that?”

Female Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Alright, have a nice day.”

(She continues to just stand there after I walk away.)

Female Customer: “Fine! I guess I don’t get a lid then!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “You just told her you didn’t want one.”

Female Customer: “Oh yeah…”

Me: *facepalm*

 

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