Unhappy Holidays, Part 7

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays

(I’m a busboy at a five-star restaurant in my hometown, during our busy holiday season. As I make a round through the dining room, I see an elderly couple, probably mid-80s, leaving their table. I walk over to see them off before I go to work clearing the table.)

Elderly Man: *starts leaving with his wife*

Me: “You folks have a good evening and a Happy Holidays.”

Elderly Man: “Kid, you know what? Go f*** yourself, all right? We don’t celebrate the holidays, so get off of my back and quit pestering me, you uncultured f***.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have a good evening.”

Elderly Man: “There he goes again! [Wife], tell this kid to shut the f*** up! I didn’t repel Nazis to come home to this bigotry!”

Elderly Woman: “[Man], please go to the car and stop making a scene!”

(At this point the restaurant is quiet and all eyes on us, including my managers’.)

Elderly Woman: “I’m so sorry about him. Here, for the trouble.”

(She hands me a $20 tip for dealing with the man’s poor attitude. She was so sweet that we gave her a $50 certificate to our restaurant.)

Related:
Unhappy Holidays, Part 6
Unhappy Holidays, Part 5
Unhappy Holidays, Part 4

The Family Business Is None Of Yours, Part 2

| FL, USA | Holidays, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a semi-fancy family-owned Italian restaurant. There is Michael Sr., who is elderly, Michael Jr., who took over the business, and Amanda, the daughter. I get a table of four in…)

Me: “Hi, my name is Sarah. Can I get you started with some Christmas Ales?”

Customer: “I’m Michael’s brother, and I always get a family discount here.”

Me: *playing along* “Okay, Michael Jr., right? So Michael Sr. is your father?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “So you must be Dan.”

Customer: “Yep, that’s me. And I always get a family discount.”

Me: “You know, I’m really glad you’re here. What is your sister’s name? I can never remember, and I don’t want to be rude and ask her.”

Customer: *suddenly defensive* “Why do you need to know?”

Me: “Because it’s a family business, and she’s part of the family, and she comes around sometimes, and I should really know her name.”

Customer: “Well, ask someone else.”

Me: *politely* “You can’t tell me your sister’s name?”

Customer: “It’s… Stephanie.”

Me: *smiling* “Wrong. It’s Amanda. And Michael doesn’t have a brother named Dan. Nice try. How ’bout those Christmas Ales?”

(The cheapskates ordered water, and I went in the back and, thankfully, Michael was in that day, so I told him and my manager about it. I even informed them that I got condescending, and I apologized for any backlash it might cause them. They just laughed and told me ‘good job.’ Then I went to deliver their drinks, and they had left.)

Related:
The Family Business Is None Of Yours

Ho Ho Tow

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Transportation

(I’m a manager at an oil change facility. We have large garage doors in the front of the building to pull cars in and out. One evening as I am closing, I go downstairs to change back into my street clothes. After coming back upstairs I find a vehicle parked up against one of my garage doors. My company’s policies require that we tow away unauthorized vehicles before we leave at night. I am in a good mood, so I decide to go into the restaurant next door to ask their manager if any of the customers were the owner. After asking multiple tables, they find the owner of the vehicle along with his wife.)

Manager: “Okay, sir, this is the manager for the business next door; he wants to talk to you.”

Car Owner: *looks at me, obviously irritated* “What do you want?”

Me: “Sorry to disrupt your dinner, sir, but I wanted to let you know that you have parked in front of my store. We are actually closed now and I will have to tow it if it is not moved.”

Car Owner: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Unfortunately so.

Car Owner: “You have got to be f****** kidding me! I can’t even park in a god-d*** parking lot anymore?!”

Wife: “Darling, just move the car; it’s fine.”

Me: “Actually, sir, you’re not even in a parking lot. Your vehicle is parked in front of my store. If you were in my lot I would just let you stay since you’re just eating, but that’s not the case.”

Car Owner: “F*** you. I’m not moving my car!”

Manager: “Sir, I need to ask you to watch your language or I will need you to leave.”

Car Owner: “You stay out of this! It’s none of your god-d*** business!”

Me: *at this point my good mood has diminished* “Okay, hold on now. One, I did not have to come here and offer you a chance to move your vehicle. Two, I still don’t need to offer it, but Christmas is in three days and I really don’t want to tow your car. So, either move it now, or pay a couple hundred dollars in fines when I tow it.”

(The car owner delayed for a few seconds and then threw something down in anger. He stormed out of the restaurant to go move his vehicle. I followed him outside to make sure he moved his vehicle, which he did. I told him to have a happy holiday, and he returned the wishes by flipping me the bird.)

Black Friday Is Nothing To Wine About

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Holidays, Politics

(I am chatting with a regular customer at the bar. He comes in almost every night and spends a ton of money, usually on expensive wine.)

Me: “So, are you going Black Friday shopping this year?”

Customer: “No. I don’t believe in capitalism.”

Count One’s Chicken Sandwiches Before They Hatch

, | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a popular fast food restaurant that has a lot of different options for chicken sandwiches and wraps as well as burgers.)

Customer: “I want a crispy chicken sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “The crispy one.”

Me: “We have multiple chicken sandwiches; you can get any of them as crispy or grilled chicken.”

Customer: “I just want a chicken sandwich!”

Me: *deep breath* “Our chicken sandwiches are numbers eleven, twelve, and thirteen on the menu board, sir.”

Customer: “Oh… how much is it?”

Me: *sigh* “The number eleven is $4.99, the number twelve is $4.89, and the number thirteen is $4.49.”

Customer: “I’ll take the one that’s four.”

(The customer’s wife wound up taking over after that. Thank god.)

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