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Need To Install A Listening Station

, | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am another customer in this case, observing. It is an extremely busy morning at the airport and there is a line of about 10 people for a coffee and pastry counter. This counter has a place to order, and a separate place to pick up and pay.)

Customer: *approaches the pay portion of the counter* “Is this where you order?”

Employee: “No, sir, you have to order down there.” *she indicates the large “ORDER HERE” sign hanging at the other end of the counter*

Customer: “I want a bagel, but I don’t want it cooked. Do you cook your bagels?”

Employee: “You can choose to have it toasted or not, if that’s what you mean. But you have to order down there.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll have a plain bagel, not cooked, and a coffee.”

Employee: *at this point clearly flustered and just trying to move the guy along quickly* “Your total will be $6. Please stand off to the side and wait for that to be ready.”

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Wining Without Reason

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(The restaurant I work at is hosting a wedding and I’m waiting on several tables. One group has been extremely nice, joking around with me and just being plain fantastic – except for one guy, who has not said a single word except for his mostly one-worded drink orders to me. As I’m checking on them to see if everything is all right and if they need any more drinks, he decides to finally break his silence.)

Customer #1: “I ordered a dry Dornfelder. This is not dry. This is not even a Dornfelder.”

(I was the one who poured his wine, and it was a dry Dornfelder, not to mention that there were only two kinds of red wine being served, a dry and a half-dry Dornfelder, so even if I poured the wrong wine, he still would have been wrong.)

Me: *beaming* “I’m very sorry, sir. I will get you a new glass and pour you the right wine right away.”

(When I come back, the man is not at the table, so I show the bottle to the rest of the group to make sure they see the label.)

Me: “Just so you can all be sure that he is getting the right wine this time.”

Customer #2: *ironically* “He knows a lot about wine, you know.”

Me: “Of course I do. I immediately noticed. Especially because we only serve Dornfelder this evening. Shall I take the old glass?”

Customer #3: “No, sweetie, leave it on the table. No use wasting this wine.”

(When I check the table the next time, I’m sure to ask Customer #1 if the wine is right this time, and he agrees, telling me that this glass is absolutely delicious while the last one was complete garbage. The next time I came back to the table, he is gone again.)

Customer #2: “Just so you know, I tasted both; and I really don’t notice any difference. Both glasses taste absolutely fine to me.”

Me: “They really should taste the same. They’re from the same bottle.”

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Smile And Say Cheese(cake)!

| Peoria, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m a hostess at a very popular restaurant. At this point in the night, I’ve been kept four hours late and I’m just exhausted. A server comes over to me and asks me to run some cheesecakes for him. Begrudgingly, I say I will. I go to the table and set the cheesecakes down. Their table has already been cleared.)

Me: “Would you like some utensils for your cheesecakes?”

Customer: *terribly sarcastic* “No, we’re going to eat it with our hands.”

Me: “Enjoy!”

(I spun around and walked away with the biggest smile on my face.)