No Time-Out

| Arlington, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(We had a power outage on a Thursday, and Friday morning the power is back on but we have a lot of work that needs to be done before we can officially open. I put a sign on the door that says “Due to last night’s power outage we are closed until further notice.” At about one in the afternoon a customer comes up to the door and knocks.)

Customer: “Do you know when you’re going to be open?”

Employee: “No, sir, that’s why the sign says ‘until further notice.’”

Customer: “Well, can I go ahead and place my order and then you can just call me when you’re open and it’s ready?”

Wish They Would Stay Hidden

| Boston, MA USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My sister and niece are visiting, so the four of us take them to eat at a local restaurant. It is fairly late at night, 8:30 pm, and the restaurant isn’t terribly crowded. We sit down with our menus and start perusing them when we hear a small child with a very loud voice yelling.)

Child: “8… 9… 10! Ready or not, here I come!”

(It soon becomes apparent that four children under the age of five are playing hide and seek in the restaurant. They are running around the entire (thankfully half empty) place, hiding under tables and behind columns, practically doing laps, and counting at the top of their lungs. There are four adult women, presumably moms, who are chatting the entire time. They are done eating – check is on the table – but they sit there and chat for 45 minutes while their kids run around… and around… and around. One of them finally gets up, but it’s to take a picture of the kids hiding under a table, not to ask them to stop. When they FINALLY leave, we have a conversation with our lovely, patient waitress:)

Me: “Oh, my God, who lets their kids play hide and seek in a restaurant?”

Waitress: “You didn’t see the best part. One of their kids ran up to a table of strangers, stood right next to the table, and coughed all over their food. The other family was totally revolted – you could see it in their face. And the mom came over and TOOK PICTURES!”

(We left her a 20% tip just for having to deal with that!)

The Highs Of The Obama Administration

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(A man and his wife ask about pins (highly collectable for people who like this restaurant). We have a special set of pins that says “5280”.)

Man: “What does the “5280” stand for?”

Me: “Well, you’re in the Mile High City. Do you know how many feet are in a mile?”

Man: “Ah! Yes! You know, we from the coast are much smarter than you here.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “See, with the lack of oxygen here, you just don’t get to be as smart.”

Me: “You do know we build the NASA rockets here, right? We actually have very smart people here.”

Man: “But Obama killed the whole NASA program. He’s bad news.”

Me: “The other guy was just as bad.”

Man: “No—”

Me: *to the wife* “So what pins were you interested in?”

Thinks He’s A Hot Shot

| Cambridge, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am manning the drinks station. It’s a bit before everyone was really into coffee and we used to filter it into a couple of thermos jugs and pour from the jug when ordered.)

Customer: “Coffee, a fresh one.”

Me: “Certainly, there is one just finishing filtering now.” *pours coffee, puts it on tray*

Customer: “Well, that won’t be strong enough.”

(All the while his wife is watching quietly with a long suffering expression.)

Me: “I can pour you one from the other filter, if you prefer?”

Customer: *stony stare*

Me: *pours coffee from other jug and hands it over*

Customer: “Well, that won’t be hot enough, will it?” *jams his finger into the visibly steaming cup to prove his point and scalds himself*

Me: “Would you like to run that under cold water for a while?”

Customer: “No, we’ll just take this coffee.”

(At this point his wife finally chips in.)

Customer’s Wife: *very calmly but firmly* “I don’t want it now you’ve stuck your finger in it.” *walks away*

Customer: *follows without another word to me*

Me: *stunned*

Deceitful Drinking

, | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a fast food restaurant drive-thru and am taking a customer’s order.)

Customer: “I would like a number three with a [Soda #1] to drink.”

Me: “A number three with a [Soda #1]. Can I get you anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: “Okay, your total will be $7 at the next drive-thru window. Thank you!”

(The customer pulls up to the window and pays for his order. I hand him his drink.)

Customer: “I wanted a [Soda #2], not a [Soda #1].”

Me: *confused* “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’ll remake that for you, sir.”

(I go to remake the drink and notice the customer hasn’t given the Soda #1 back to me.)

Me: “I need the [Soda #1] back, sir.”

Customer: “Huh? What [Soda #1]?”

Me: *annoyed* “The [Soda #1] I just gave to you a few seconds ago.”

(The customer reluctantly hands the Soda #1 back to me.)

Customer: “Are you going to throw that out?”

Me: “Yes, it’s our standard policy.”

Customer: “Well, you should just let me have it if you’re going to throw it out. That’s just wasteful.”

Me: “Sir, if this was an honest mistake, I would let you keep the drink free of charge, but you intentionally tried to deceive me to get a free drink. I’m afraid you won’t be getting a free drink today, sir.”

(The customer was silent for the rest of the transaction. Unsurprisingly, I never saw him again.)

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