(I’m part of a church and we have a religion class during the week for young adults. A group of us usually go out to a nice burger chain restaurant after the class is over to eat and enjoy each others company as most of us only see each other once a week.)

Friend: “Can I get some fries?”

(The fries come out with the rest of our meals. It’s important to know that this restaurant has unlimited fries once you order a basket.)

Friend: “Can I get another basket?”

(Instead of bringing out another basket of fries, the waitress just brings out an empty basket and sets it on the table.)

Friend: “Oh. Well. Okay, then…”

Me: “Well, you did ask for another basket,”

(On the occasion of my 30th birthday, I am out with my family for dinner.)

Dad: “So, 30 years old! Wow. How does it feel to be 30… YEARS… OLD?”

Me: “Good. I feel good.”

Dad: “Yes, but 30 years…”

Me: “Well Dad, how does it feel to have a 30 year old daughter?”

(The look on his face was priceless.)

(It’s my first day, and I’m very excited to be working as an apprentice baker, something I’ve always wanted to do. During the interview, I told the hiring manager that I had little experience, and he accepted it. He told a trainer to train me.)

Trainer: “So you take this and insert the filling in these cupcakes like so.”

Me: “Like this?”

(It’s my first time in a long time handling a pastry bag, and some icing spills out.)

Trainer: *glancing around, in a fearful whisper* “Try not to be messy…”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I—”

(Just then a screaming woman swoops down on me in rage.)

Woman: “WHAT’RE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU STUPID?”

(My jaw drops in speechlessness. The trainer looks scared to death.)

Trainer: *quivering* “Um, well, she’s new, and uh, I- I’m just teaching her how to fill the c-cakes…”

Woman: *tearing at her hair* “DON’T LET HER DO ANYTHING! I WON’T PAY FOR THIS! I WON’T!”

(She storms off. I recover.)

Me: “Who was THAT?”

Trainer: *whispering* “The owner. She’s very strict so best stay out of her way or she’ll fire you. Be careful…”

(‘Strict’ wasn’t the word I’d use to describe her. I didn’t come back and soon found another job with a less psycho owner.)

(I’m a waiter at a local pizza place and am currently on the phone with a customer that is placing an order. They’ve ordered a special which enables them to get their choice of either breadsticks or cheese sticks.)

Me: “All right, sir, would you like the breadsticks or cheese sticks with your pizza?”

Customer: *after much thought* “”Hmm, you guys used to have these breadsticks that had cheese on them. Could I get those instead?”

Me: “Sir? Do you mean the cheese sticks?”

Customer: “No, no. The breadsticks with cheese!”

Me: *clicking the cheese sticks button* “Oh yeah, the breadsticks with cheese! I can do that for you!”

Customer: “Thank you! You have no idea how many other [Store]s don’t know what I’m talking about!”

(I am a vegetarian out to lunch with some friends. There is literally nothing on the menu that does not contain meat, and as I usually do when this happens, I try to order something and ask them to hold the meat.)

Me: “Could I please have the club sandwich, but with no meat?”

Waitress: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I would like a sandwich with everything on it that the club has, except for the meat.”

Waitress: “Okay…”

(The waitress delivers our food sometime later, and my sandwich has a nice helping of bacon on it.)

Me: “I’m sorry but I very clearly asked for no meat on this sandwich.”

Waitress: “Oh, I know! I had them leave off the ham and turkey!”

Me: “But there’s very clearly still bacon on it.”

Waitress: “You didn’t want bacon either? You didn’t say that!”

Related:
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility