(Every year my two best friends and their boyfriends come to stay with me and my boyfriend for a week or so. We’re all guys, and at the time this happens we are all in our late 20s. My boyfriend is a self-described foodie, and he wants to try out a new restaurant he’s heard of. We don’t make a reservation as it is in the middle of the week and during the early afternoon. The restaurant is nearly empty. My boyfriend, I, and one other of us order the lamb.)
Waiter: *returning a few minutes after taking the orders* “I’m sorry, but we only have two portions of the lamb left. Would any of you order something different?”
Boyfriend: “I will. Can I see the menu again?”
(The waiter rolls his eyes, walks away, gets a menu, and returns. My boyfriend looks it over.)
Boyfriend: “I’ll have the steak, medium rare.”
Waiter: “With [Side #1] or [Side #2]?”
Boyfriend: “[Side #1].”
(The waiter storms off. We talk and enjoy the wine we’ve ordered. About ten minutes later the food arrives – except for my boyfriend’s.)
Boyfriend: “Ummm. Where’s my steak?”
Waiter: “It’ll still be a few minutes because it wasn’t ordered with everything else.”
(The waiter returns to the kitchen, and we all just shrug. My boyfriend tells us to eat so it doesn’t get cold. Another five minutes pass before the waiter returns with my boyfriend’s meal.)
Boyfriend: *sees that the steak came with [Side #2] not [Side #1] and when he cuts into the steak sees that it’s well done; he waves the waiter back* “Um. This isn’t what I ordered. The steak is well done, and I asked for [Side #1].”
Waiter: “We’re out of [Side #1], and you ordered it well done.”
Boyfriend: “No. I ordered it medium rare. Could I get this remade, please?”
(The waiter takes the plate, and storms off. Eventually he returns with a new steak. The steak is beyond rare, looking like they just seared it and stuck it on the plate. My boyfriend waves the waiter back.)
Boyfriend: “This still isn’t what I ordered. This time it’s barely cooked! And it isn’t even on a fresh plate. Could I have it remade again, medium rare, and on a fresh plate?”
(The waiter storms off again.)
Friend #1: “Third time’s the charm?”
(By now, most of us are nearly finished our meals. The waiter returns a minute later.)
Waiter: “We don’t have any more steak. Would you like something else?”
Boyfriend #1: *to the waiter* “It’s the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, and you don’t have any more steak or lamb?”
Waiter: “It’s been a busy week.”
Me: *under my breath* “I doubt that.”
Boyfriend: “Fine. I’ll just have a [very simple salad].”
(We all look at each other as the waiter leaves.)
Me: “Odds on that they won’t have lettuce?”
Boyfriend #1: “It’s like Star Trek: Generations: ‘Everything’ll arrive on Tuesday!’.”
(The waiter eventually returns with the [very simple salad], very overdressed and not at all appealing. He also brings the bill.)
Boyfriend #2: “We didn’t ask for the bill yet.”
Waiter: “You’ve all eaten now.”
Boyfriend: *after waiter walks away* “That’s fine. We’ll just pay and leave.”
(I take a look over the bill and laugh.)
Boyfriend: “What?”
Me: “There are three lamb on this bill, and two steaks with two side dishes. He never removed any of the dishes we didn’t eat. He just kept adding them on.”
Boyfriend: “Seriously?”
Me: “Seriously.”
(I wave over the waiter again and ask for a new bill with the items removed. He doesn’t say anything but takes the bill and returns a minute later. I look it over. The lamb is removed, but one steak is still on.)
Me: “It’s still wrong.”
Boyfriend: *takes the bill from me and waves the waiter over* “Okay, now, look. I didn’t eat the steak, so it shouldn’t be on the bill.”
Waiter: “You cut into it.”
Boyfriend: “I cut into both, and you took one off. Take the other off.”
(The waiter walks off again, and returned with a third bill. This time it is right, but he’s added a 15% gratuity that wasn’t there on the previous bills. By now Friend #1 has had enough. He waves the waiter over.)
Friend #1: “Okay. This is ridiculous. Three times you had to return to our table to tell us that you’re out of food. There’s barely anyone else in this restaurant. It’s the middle of the week. You’ve given us attitude this whole time, and given us the bill wrong 4 times. Now you’ve even added a gratuity to the bill. We won’t pay it like this. We want the gratuity removed, because you’re d*** not going to get 15% from us. And, you’re going to pull off at least one of the bottles of wine because that’s what a good restaurant would do. Right?”
(The waiter glared at Friend #1, but took the bill and walked away. We all got out our cash as we waited for the bill to come back. It did, and when we checked it, the gratuity had been removed but the wine was still there. We decided to just let it go. We paid the bill exactly, and left. We picked up a burger for my boyfriend who was still hungry, since he’d not really had anything to eat. About two months later my boyfriend and I were in the area where the restaurant was, and we saw that it had been replaced by a bookstore. We still go to the bookstore, and their customer service is certainly miles ahead of that restaurant.)
