(My best friend, her sister, her niece, and I are having a girls’ day. We had watched a movie, played arcade games, and we’re now eating at a fried chicken restaurant. Then I lean back in my seat and say this little gem.)
Me: “Ah, girls’ day. Movie. Games. And Chicken.”
(We pause for a second and then all four of us burst out laughing.)
(My manager on duty receives a call that a coworker won’t come in. Three hours later a second coworker has failed to show up. It is my manager working the drive-thru window and me preparing all the food. Three hours into what becomes a five-hour rush with us alone, an older lady gets to the window.)
Manager: “Hi, sorry about the wait.”
Lady: “Oh? Is there a problem?”
Manager: “Oh, we had two coworkers who didn’t show up and we’re stuck here alone.”
Lady: *rather sure of herself* “Well, that’s nice. It’s good for you.”
Manager: *silently closes window then turns to me* “What a c***!”
(We finally got help when the night crew got there but I left an hour and a half late. Whoever that lady was, she’s no one I want to meet!)
(We’re English, on holiday as a family, two adults, two children, and in Florida for the first time. It’s our last day and we are having breakfast at our favourite restaurant before heading for the airport. It’s a buffet restaurant but we have found they have the best blueberry muffins. Just before we finish breakfast I mention to my husband that we should try to pay extra for some muffins to take with us for a snack in the airport, so we decide to ask our waitress, who is a lovely Scandinavian girl.)
Me: “Hey, [Waitress], do you think we would be allowed to buy four extra blueberry muffins to take with us. We know we’ll need a snack at the airport and these are the nicest we’ve ever had.”
Waitress: *in stilted English* “Errm, I not sure. I go see.”
(About 15 minutes go by and we figure that she has been told no, when she appears again with a man, who we find out is the manager.)
Manager: “Hi, I’m [Name], the duty manager. I understand you have a problem with our blueberry muffins.”
Husband: “Oh, no, no… They’re the best we’ve had while we’ve been here and [My Name] wanted to know if we could pay extra for four to take with us to the airport. [Waitress] must have misunderstood. After all it’s probably an unusual request.”
Manager: *laughing* “Oh, right, that’s no problem, sir. [Waitress] will bring you some right out, no extra charge. I have to tell you though, it’s just a packet muffin mix and we just add extra blueberries! Now, you have a safe journey home and we hope you make it back here soon.”
(Our smiling waitress returned a few minutes later with a bag of eight hot blueberry muffins AND a bag of muffin mix! Needless to say, we have been back several times since and we make a point of stopping at that restaurant where we always get great service. We’ve never seen the same waitress or the manager again, though.)
(The restaurant where I work has oil lanterns on each table, and they are lit everyday at four pm before we lower the lights for atmosphere. I am lighting all the lanterns. I approach a table and launch into my standard explanation.)
Me: “Hi there. Excuse me, I’m just going to lean in here and light the lantern real quick.”
Customer: “Is that in your job description?”
Me: *confused* “Um, yes.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
Me: *trying to make a joke* “I don’t just go around randomly lighting lanterns!”
Customer: “REALLY?!”
(The customer seemed to think I was only lighting the lanterns because I felt like it. I have no idea why!)
Me: “Hi, and welcome to [Establishment].”
Guest: “TOILET!”
Me: *with a slight bow* “Toilet to you too, sir.”
