They’ll Have The Special Of Food With Booze

| IN, USA | Working | June 2, 2017

(My husband and I are in a pretty fancy restaurant celebrating our anniversary. This is all verbatim, spoken very quickly:)

Server: “Hello, welcome to blah blah’s. Our soup of the day is food. The special is food with other stuff on, in, or around it, and the drink specials are booze and some other kind of booze. If you have any questions about the menu, I’ll be happy to answer and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll make something up.”

(My husband and I immediately burst out laughing.)

Server: “I have been doing that for the last three hours because nobody listens to a word I say. You guys are the first to notice! Order whatever you want. It’s on the house.”

(Best anniversary dinner ever.)

Mother Is Doing A Real Job On Her Son

, | ON, Canada | Related | June 1, 2017

(I am working in the lobby of a fast food restaurant when I see a young boy attempting to clean up his table with a couple of napkins before he leaves. It makes me quite happy to see a kid taking initiative like that… until his mother starts to yell angrily at him:)

Mother: “What are you doing?! You don’t clean that up. That’s their job!”

(She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the restaurant as I stood there in stunned silence.)

Diabathetic

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2017

Me: “You meal should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

Patron: “Thank you. Also, just as a warning: I’m diabetic, and my blood sugar is quite low.”

Me: “Oh, my. I could have something brought out of you’re feeling unwell?”

Patron: “Oh, no. It’s fine. Also my family can sue you if you don’t save me!”

Me: “…”

Unfiltered Story #88990

, | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

I went to check the customer washrooms near the end of my shift (the employees had their own washroom), and the men’s washroom was empty, but heavy with smoke. In the stall there was an assortment of marijuana roaches on the back of the toilet, and a heroin needle in the trash. So much for our small-town establishment!

Normal Dinner Table Conversation

| San Jose, CA, USA | Related | May 31, 2017

Son: “I’m male, I’m white, and I know nothing about how the government works. I expect to be in Trump’s cabinet any time now.”

Me: “Sorry, you don’t have enough money to pay to get in.”

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