He Wants Hot Pot

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2021

My family owns a Chinese/Thai fusion restaurant in our hometown, and while at university, I work as a host.

I receive a phone call at the host booth from someone who sounds like a movie stereotype of a stoner. The conversation does nothing to change this impression.

Me: “[Chinese Restaurant], how may I help you?”

Stoned Customer: “Hey, um, do you guys do delivery?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t. Have you tried [Food Delivery Service]?”

Stoned Customer: “Nooooo, duuuuude, I don’t want someone else delivering it; I want the actual restaurant people to deliver it so they get the money.”

Me: “I can respect that, sir. Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate you.”

Stoned Customer: *Half groaning, half whining* “DUUUUUDE! I really wanted Chinese food!”

Me: “We’re open for dine-in or carry-out.”

Stoned Customer: “I can’t. My car is in the shop.”

Me: “Oh, bummer.”

Stoned Customer: “Heeeeey, I got an idea! I’ll make you a deal: you come pick me up at [Apartment Complex], and I’ll get you some pot.”

Somehow, I am not surprised to hear he has pot at the ready.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we cannot accept that as currency.”

Stoned Customer: “Nah, nah, nah, not as currency, dude. This is just a little… perk… you know… on the down low.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot do that. You might want to call a restaurant that offers delivery.”

Stoned Customer: “Maaaaaaan…” *Click*

I just put my head down on the host booth and sighed deeply.

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This Lady Makes Our Fur Stand On End

, , , , , | Friendly | March 12, 2021

I have made the difficult decision to rehome my cat. A friend contacts me and says her neighbor is looking for a cat. I agree to meet with the neighbor and see if I think she’s the right home for my cat.

The day I am set to see her, she calls and asks if we can meet at a restaurant instead of her apartment. I’m only five minutes from the apartments, so I call my friend and ask if she can take the cat while we go to the restaurant. My friend is confused but agrees. I see the woman sitting at a table and approach. She stands and looks me over.

Woman: “Where’s the cat?”

Me: “Um, you can’t have a cat in a restaurant.”

Woman: “So she’s in the car?”

Me: “No, I left her with [Friend].”

Woman: *Scoffs* “Okay.”

She sits down and gestures to the empty seat and I sit down.

Me: “So, why not your apartment?”

Woman: “Too personal. How do you know [Friend]?”

Me: “We were both business majors at [College] and took a lot of the same classes.”

Woman: “Oh.”

Me: “Have you had cats before?”

Woman: “Yeah.”

I expect her to go on, but she doesn’t.

Me: “Do you have pets now?”

Woman: “Yeah.”

Again, I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t.

Me: “What kind of pets?”

Woman: “Different ones.”

Me: “Such as?”

Woman: “Why are you asking so many questions?”

Me: “I want to make sure you’re the right person.”

Woman: “You’re trying to unload a pet. What do you care if I’m ‘the right person’?”

Now I’m angry.

Me: “Do you have dogs? Cats? Children? Small pets? I’m—”

Woman: *Leaning forward* “I don’t appreciate your attitude.”

I stand and gather my jacket and purse.

Woman: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Leaving.”

Woman: “What about the cat?”

Me: *Laughs* “You’re kidding, right?”

I called my friend and told her I’d be back to collect my cat and NOT to give her to anyone else. She seemed genuinely shocked that the neighbor had acted that way. It only took a few more days before I found a home I was comfortable with. We still keep in touch and her new family sends me a Christmas card every year — with “our” cat in the photo!

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Sibling Intolerant

, , , , , | Related | March 10, 2021

My sister is visiting, and my partner and I decide to treat her to a local steak house. I’m lactose intolerant, but I know my limits and read menus carefully. When it comes time to order, my sister loudly asks while I’m trying to order if an item we discussed has dairy in it, which she is told it does. I shrug and order what I had planned to, as it wasn’t what she was asking about.

The food comes out and my sister is given a replacement item, the waiter explaining that he made a substitution as she had asked. She angrily tells them that she was asking for me and requests what she ordered. My partner and I shake our heads, but her meal is replaced.

I am so used to it that it doesn’t even register, but my partner points out that, as an adult, I don’t need her to ask for me. I agree, but sadly, this is not the first nor last time she would talk over me to “take care of me.” I may not be the smartest person on earth, but I know how to ask for myself if I need to!

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Kilometers From Correctness

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2021

My husband and I go to a chicken fast food place famous for its Louisiana-style chicken. We go through the drive-thru and order a [Chicken Meal #1] with a side of [Side #1]. We are the only customers in the drive-thru and there is nobody inside.

Worker: “That’ll be [price]. Here’s your order, sir.”

Husband: “Thanks, ma’am.”

My husband pulls away as I start going through the order. I open the chicken container and see that it is [Chicken Meal #2].

Me: “Honey, this is [Chicken Meal #2], not [Chicken Meal #1].”

Husband: “No problem. I’ll just park here and bring it back in.”

He goes back inside the restaurant and lets a worker know. She apologizes and hands my husband a container with [Chicken Meal #1]. He comes out and gets back in the car with the correct chicken.

Husband: “Well, that was interesting. I tried to give her back the wrong chicken and she told me to keep it.”

Me: “It’s about to get more interesting. They gave us [Side #2] instead of [Side #1].”

Husband: “Are you kidding me? I’ll go back in again.”

He goes in a second time to get the correct side.

Husband: “She gave me [Side #1] and told me to keep [Side #2].”

While en route home, I realized that there was no [Bread Side], which should automatically come with the meal we ordered. Back we went. The workers were very apologetic. My husband and I found it overly amusing that an order could be messed up so badly. In the end, we ended up getting a whole bunch of chicken and a side for free.

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Love Is Blind To Only So Much

, , , , , | Romantic | March 4, 2021

My friend sets me up on a blind date with a friend of hers. She describes her as a good match for me so I agree to go.

On the date, the girl is distant. When she actually speaks, she is very disagreeable, announcing her opinion rather than making a discussion. We end the date with general pleasantries, and I pay and leave with no mention of going any further.

I don’t see my friend for a few days, but when I do, the first thing she wants to know is:

Friend: “How did it go?”

Me: “She seemed nice, but no spark.”

Friend: “Really? She was saying that she had an amazing time and hopes to see you again.”

Me: “She spent our whole date on her phone and wouldn’t make any conversation, at all.”

Friend: “She can be shy at times, but she really seemed to like you. She has struggled to find a guy she gets on with. Give her another chance.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m not sure.”

Friend: “Come on! She has even picked out a restaurant. I might have mentioned that you have been wanting to go to [Steakhouse] for ages.”

Me: “Well, that is true.”

Friend: “Great! I will tell her you’re free.”

I’m not sure if I agree because I want to go, because I want steak, or because my friend pushes me into it. But a week or so later, I meet the girl again at the steakhouse.

Again, she spends pretty much the whole date on her phone or eating in silence. I make conversation where I can and ask about her hobbies, holidays, and ambitions, but I get one- or two-word replies, and she doesn’t ask anything of me.

She only seems to smile when she drinks her champagne. 

Fed up, I eat my meal and go to the bar to order drinks.

Me: “Can I pay for my meal here?”

Bartender: “Sure, that one over there?”

Me: “Yeah, but can I just pay for my half?”

Bartender: “Bad date?”

Me: “You have no idea. I will let her know.”

Bartender: “Probably best if you let us handle it. She has been in here before. She often throws her drink at the guy; sometimes it’s still in the glass. Back door is that way.”

I thanked him and disappeared. My friend swore she didn’t know when she set me up. But I still haven’t been on a blind date since.

This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of March 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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