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Should Have Gone With The First Order

, | Coruscant | April Fool's Day

(I work at a fast-food place on Coruscant. A couple of robed customers come up.)

Customer #1: “I’ll have the Boba Fettuccine pasta salad with some Sarlaactose-free dip, some Darth Tatertots, and a Grand Muffin Tarkins.”

Customer #2: “I’ll get the Obi-Wan-Kebab, a side of Chewbaklava, and some Qui-Gon-Ginger-snaps.

Me: “Okay, that all comes to 159 galactic credits.”

(The customer then does a weird hand movement.)

Customer #1: “This food is free.”

(As weird as it sounds, I feel compelled to agree with them.)

Me: “This food is free.”

Customer #2: “And you will give us coupons for future free meals.”

Me: “And I will give you coupons for future free meals.”

Customer #1: *really getting into it now* “And you will bring back the McRibba-The-Hutt—”

Customer #2: *interrupting* “Dude, c’mon. Even Yoda can’t bring that back.”

Customer #1: “Fiiiiine.” *to me* “Please let us know when our order is ready.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. I’ve put that order in for you.”

(They walk aside and I serve a few more customers, when I see that their order number has come up but not been collected. I turn to my coworker who prepared the order.)

Me: “Why didn’t those two guys collect their food?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. I called out ‘Order 66 is ready!’ but then they just went all pale and just ran out the door…”

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Can See A Red Alert Coming

, | Ames, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like an Arctic Rush.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Red.”

Me: “Cherry, watermelon, or strawberry kiwi?”

(I had this conversation nearly every time someone ordered an Arctic Rush.)

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Needs Another Side Explanation

| Syracuse, NY, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m a waitress at a fairly well-known restaurant chain that does lunch combos on weekdays. I am serving two little old ladies and trying to explain the combos to them.)

Me: *pointing to column A on the menu with both women looking at it* “If you get two items from this column, it’s $6.99.” *pointing to column B* “Two from here would be $8.99.” *pointing to both columns* “If you get one from each side then it’s $7.99.”

Old Lady #1: “Okay. I see.”

Me: “Do you need a little more time to decide?”

Old Ladies: “Yes, please.”

(I leave and return a couple of minutes later.)

Me: “Did I give you enough time?”

Old Lady #2: “I suppose we’ll both have the shrimp linguine.”

Me: “Okay, and what would you like with it?”

Old Lady #2: “Oh, what comes with it?”