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Dressing Down The Situation

| NJ, USA | Food & Drink

(I am working curbside delivery at a chain restaurant and a car pulls up to pick up their delivery. After the introductory spiel:)

Me: “I notice you ordered two salads without meat and a veggie burger. Are you vegetarian?”

Customer: “Yes… Why?”

Me: “Well, the dressing that comes with this salad isn’t vegetarian. Would you like a substitute?”

Customer: *turns white* “What do you mean? We always eat this salad. My wife loves this salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’ve never been informed of this. Most people don’t think about whether dressings are vegetarian or not, but this specific dressing contains animal products.”

Customer: “Is there just like maybe a little bit in it? How bad is it? We’ve been eating it for years!”

Me: “It contains four different types of animal lard in it. It is practically all animal product. It’s basically gravy, but for salad.”

(I can practically see the moral dilemma playing over his face while he thinks. He is even clenching the steering wheel.)

Customer: “What do I do? My wife is pregnant; all she wants is this salad and this dressing. She’s going to be devastated. She’s going to start crying…” *he continues muttering in this fashion for about half a minute* “Maybe I’ll break the news to her in a few months when she isn’t so…emotional. Do you think that’s okay?”

Me: “Wise choice. Have a great day and congratulations!”

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Unable To Table This Discussion

| WI, USA | Liars & Scammers, Non-Dialogue

I work in a chain-operated sit down restaurant in a small, midwestern city. We are very busy on weekends. We are also attached to a hotel with a bar and banquet facility inside. There are a lot of weddings that take place there, usually on Saturday nights, so Sunday mornings can be especially busy for breakfast.

One Sunday morning we are getting a lot of large groups, most of who did not make reservations. We have a lot of smaller tables in the front of the restaurant and then large tables in the back. We have just seated a group at the last available large table. There are a few smaller tables open, but they are not even close to adjacent. A woman comes in and asks for a table for 12. I tell her that I can’t seat a 12 right now as we don’t have any open tables. She asks if we can push some smaller tables together. I point out that the smaller tables that are open are scattered, with occupied tables between them, and if she would like she can sit in the lobby and we’ll let her know when something opens up.

She starts fuming and demands to speak to the owner. I tell her that he isn’t in at the moment and ask if she would like to leave her number so he can contact her later. She says “No, God-d*** it! Just seat my family! We’re f****** hungry!” I explain to her (again!) that there is no place to seat her and she can wait until something becomes available or she can go elsewhere.

Then she starts in that she knows the owner and they’re good friends and if he were here he would find her a table, he would find a way to make his regular customers happy.

I’ve worked there for six years and had never seen this woman before, so I doubt she’s a regular and I doubt she knows the owner. So, I ask her “Oh, you know Bill?” She says “Yes! I told you, we’re old friends. I went to school with his wife!” I took great pleasure in bursting this hag’s bubble. I said “Ma’am, the owner’s name is Brian, not Bill, and Brian doesn’t have a wife, he has a husband.”

Honestly, even if she DID know the owner, what did she expect? Was he supposed to magically pull a 12-top out of his butt?

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No One Is Getting Fired Or On Fire Today

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am eating my lunch at a popular lunch spot. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. I grab my stuff and head out, along with the employees and all but one of the customers.)

Customer #1: “Hey! Where are you going? I want my food!”

Employee: “Sir, the fire alarm is going off! Get outside!”

Customer #1: “I want my [item]! Give it to me!”

Employee: “Get outside! If this turns out to be nothing, we’ll make you a new one.”

(The customer continues to make a fuss, but is shooed outside by the employees and some helpful customers. He stands outside, continuing to complain. The fire department arrives and the firefighters run inside. While they’re in there (and the fire truck sits directly in front of the main door, lights flashing) and the fire alarm continues to sound, a man approaches and tries to go in.)

Employee: *shouting* “Sir! Don’t go in!”

Customer #2: “I called in an order, and paid for it.”

Employee: “And once the firefighters come out and say that everything’s safe, you’ll get it.”

Customer #2: “I don’t see any flames. I want my food.”

Employee: *exasperated* “No one is going inside until the fire department okays it.”

Customer #2: “What if it gets cold?”

Employee: “If it’s ready and waiting, it’ll be in the warmer. But if something’s wrong with it, we’ll make a new one.”

(Customer #2 made a big show of standing directly in front of the door, arms crossed, and looking at his watch. After a few minutes, the firefighters concluded that the alarm malfunctioned and left. Everyone headed back in and business resumed. Both the jerk customers continued to complain, going to far as to demand free or discounted food for their trouble. The manager kicked them both out. They left, threatening to call corporate and get everyone fired for being “lazy.”)

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She Needs All The Sweetness She Can Get

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working at a well-known fast food restaurant when a lady comes in and asks for a large vanilla iced coffee with two extra pumps of sugar. We already put five pumps in all large iced coffees. A little while later she comes running back up to the counter. I hear the conversation between my manager and her.)

Lady: “You got it wrong again! This is too sweet! How hard is it to make a god- d***ed iced coffee with TWO extra sugar!?”

Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I will be happy to replace your coffee but I have to ask you to refrain from cussing. There are children here.”

Lady: “Fine! Just get me my coffee. ONLY TWO extra sugars! Not 20 like you always do!”

(My manager goes to make her a new iced coffee. He hands it to her and asks her to try it.)

Lady: “Finally! Someone can get it right.”

(She storms out of the store without another word and I walk over to my manager.)

Me: “Sir, I made that coffee and I can assure you I only put 2 extra sugars in it.”

Manager: “I know. She comes in every now and then and does the same thing. What she really wants is ONLY two pumps of sugar.”

Me: “Has anyone told her?”

Manager: “Yes, but she insists that extra means only.”

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| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Unfiltered

(I’m a waiter at a restaurant. This happens while I’m out with a friend on my night off. I’m in need of a bathroom, so I have a quick look at the menu, tell my friend what I want, and dash off while she puts the order in.)

Me: *chatting while we wait for our food* “So the guy sends it back and complains because his filet mignon has bacon. Either you know what filet mignon is, in which case, you know it has bacon, or you don’t, in which case, you read the freaking menu!”

(At this point our food arrives.)

Me: *seeing prawns on top of mine* “That’s not right. I didn’t order prawns.”

(Seeing the concerned look on the waiter’s face I realise:)

Me: “…or I didn’t read the menu properly. Can I get a side plate, please?”

(The waiter was a lovely guy and happy to help. My friend spent the whole meal laughing at me for not reading the menu while bitching about customers who don’t read the menu!)

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