First Available Opportunity To Complain

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Time

(I am a hostess at a very popular restaurant. It’s a Saturday night during dinner hour and since we don’t take reservations the wait time can be extremely long. This particular night has been hard because the wait time we gave the guest is about 30 off (we base wait time on how long it usually takes to eat a 3 course meal and tonight everyone is “camping”). This irate woman storms up to the desk to see what’s taking so long and since I am the head of the desk my coworker asks for my help.)

Woman: “Where is our table?! I’ve seen people being seated who came in after me.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about the long wait. May I have your name, please?”

(She gives me her name and I notice that she has requested outside seating only.)

Me: “It seemed that you asked for outside seating. The people who came in after you requested first available or inside only. It looks like there are a number of tables on their check outside so it shouldn’t be too much longer. I’m sorry about the delay.”

Woman: “This is ridiculous! If people are being seated inside first you should know to put me inside!”

Me: “Ma’am, you specifically asked for outside. If I assumed that everyone wanted first available then I would have a lot of angry guests. I’m sorry about the wait but you’re the next—”

Woman: “Don’t talk down to me! I was a host for 14 years. I know what I’m talking about. You clearly don’t know how to do your job!”

(She storms off to her husband and continues to glare at me.)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “People are insane…”

Sandwiched Between Pizza Slices

, | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m answering phones at a local pizza joint that happens to have the word “Pizza” in its name.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant]; what can I do for you tonight?

Customer: “Well, OBVIOUSLY I want to order a pizza! Why else would I be calling [Restaurant]? Idiot…”

Me: “Right, so what size do you want?”

Customer: *silence* “…I’m not sure.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of crust?”

Customer: “Uhmmm…”

Me: “How about toppings? What toppings do you want?”

Customer: “I… I don’t know.”

Me: “We also sell sandwiches.”

Customer: “Yeah, screw it. Let me get a sandwich.”

Why Did They Have To Order Sausage?

| San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’ve been serving at a loosely fine-dining establishment for a couple of months. Before this job, I worked at a corporate chain restaurant, so I’m still a little more enthusiastic than the job calls for and can talk a bit much.)

Customer #1: “How big are the pizzas?”

Me: “They’re about 12 inches.”

Customer #1: “Oh. Will that feed two people?”

Me: “Usually. Some people eat it all by themselves, but two people could easily split the pizza if you ordered an appetizer or salad or something as well.”

Customer #1: “Okay, we’ll get the pepperoni and sausage, and two Caesars.”

(Once the pizza is ready, I take it out to the table. Along the way, another one of my tables that had decided against the pizza stopped me to look at it.)

Customer #2: “Wow! That pizza is actually pretty big! We should have gotten one!”

Me: “I know! 12 inches doesn’t sound all that big until it’s right there in front of you! I guess you gotta see it to realize how big it really is.”

(My eyes widen and my face instantly turns red as I realize the dirty way my statement could be misconstrued, so I quickly take the pizza and drop it off at the right table.)

Customer #1: “Oh, honey, I don’t think we even needed to order those salads! This pizza is much bigger than I thought!”

Me: “Uh, huh… yep, it’s big. Enjoy!”

That’s How The Cookie Change Crumbles

| Lahore, Pakistan | At The Checkout, Money

(I’m at a really popular fast food restaurant that sells sandwiches as subs. I’m here to buy only a cookie as they sell really good cookies and the store is right next to my house. I have borrowed some money from my mother for the cookie and she has given me all the change she has because she didn’t want it!)

Me: “Hello!”

Cashier: “Good day, sir.”

Me: “I want a chocolate chip cookie.”

Cashier: “How many, sir?”

Me: “Just the one.”

Cashier: “That’ll be 80 rupees.” *approximately $0.80*

(I look around the shop to see if anyone’s looking, then proceed to drop 80 rupees worth of coins on to the counter. They make a little more noise than I thought and everyone stares at me.)

Cashier: *wide-eyed* “Seriously?”

Me: “Hey, if you feel bad, imagine what I’m going through. Everyone here is staring at me because my mom refused to give me proper money!”

Tipped To Be Bad Customers From The Beginning

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a restaurant where management at times allows us to politely approach customers who tip us very poorly, as long as we ask what we may have done wrong and if there is anything we can improve upon for next time, etc. Nothing rude, just simply asking why the service was not up to certain standards. I have couple sit in my section for a couple hours. They leave me $4 on a $60 tab. It is very rare that I receive such a low tip as I never have any complaints about my service.)

Me: “Pardon me, I do not mean to be rude or disrespectful but I was wondering if there was anything wrong with my service today?”

Woman: “No. It was fine. Why?”

Me: “Well I was just curious because the tip left on the credit card receipt was for less than 10% and I was wondering if there was something I did wrong.”

Man: “Was 10% not good enough?”

Me: “Well, sir, $4 is not even 10% of $60. And 10% is a low tip which usually reflects poor service, and I was just asking if there was something I could improve on to make your next experience with us better.”

Man: “Well… you didn’t bring us glasses of water.”

Me: “Sir, you never asked me for waters.”

Woman: “Well, that should hardly matter.”

Me: “So… just to be clear… you tipped me 10% because I didn’t bring you something that you never asked me for?”

Woman: “We shouldn’t have to ask. You should just know what we want. We’re the customer and it’s your job to know how to make us happy.”

Me: “Ma’am, it is my job to bring you what you order… not to read your mind. I’m a waitress, not a psychic.”

(They complained to my manager and my punishment was a free shot and getting sent home early to try and forget people like that exist… Sometimes mouthing off has its benefits.)