The Caper Crusader

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am at a restaurant for dinner. A customer on the next table orders roast pork. The recipe used by the restaurant includes capers. I sit down a few moments before his food is served. He doesn’t even touch it but immediately speaks up.)

Guest: “Wait, there’s capers in there! I asked for a roast pork without capers!”

Waitress: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I guess the kitchen didn’t read to leave the capers out.”

Guest: “Well, I hate capers! I’m not going to eat that.”

Waitress: “Let me take it back. I’ll bring you a new one without capers.”

Me: “You’re going to throw it away, are you?”

Waitress: “Well, yes.”

Me: “You can give that to me then. I was going to order it anyway, and I don’t mind the capers.”

Guest: “What? You can’t have that!”

Me: “Why?”

Guest: “It was prepared for me! You can’t have my food!”

Me: “Huh? I thought you didn’t want it?”

Guest: “I don’t!”

Me: “Then they’re just gonna throw it away anyway. That would be a waste.”

Guest: “You can’t have MY food! It was made for ME, not YOU!”

(Something flicked his switch at this moment – he’s calling me things like parasite, saying that I just want him to pay for my meal. Note that they wouldn’t have charged him for the faulty order; I would have paid for it. Enter the restaurant owner.)

Owner: “What is going on here?”

(The waitress explains the situation to him, he looks at me, and I confirm. The other guest is still fuming and mumbling under his breath.)

Owner: “So you don’t want the roast with capers?”

Guest: “I don’t! I hate capers!”

Owner: “You don’t want it, but you also don’t want anyone else to have it?”

Guest: “No! It is my food and my money!”

Owner: “You gave it back, so it isn’t your food. I’m not going to throw perfectly good food away if someone else wants it. Also, I refuse to serve people who do not know how to behave.”

Guest: “What does that mean?!”

Owner: “It means we will not serve you today. Please leave. You don’t need to pay for your drink, just get out.”

(The guest left, muttering that he wouldn’t want to eat at this ‘crappy place’ anyway and he wouldn’t be back. The owner did not give me the other guest’s food, stating it was no longer hot enough and he didn’t want to serve me food that wasn’t hot. However, when I left, they gave it to me in a doggy bag.)

Where All The Complaints Stem From

| Temple, TX, USA | Food & Drink

(I go to check on a table of two older-looking ladies, the second of which is dressed very neatly and entered with a nurse and a walker. The well-dressed woman has ordered a spinach and strawberry salad.)

Me: “How is everything today?”

Woman #1: “Oh, fine, thank you.”

Woman #2: “Why don’t you cut these stems off?”

(I look at her plate, where she has systematically cut the stem of each piece of spinach in her salad.)

Me: “That’s just how the spinach comes, ma’am.”

Woman #2: “Well, I’ve had to cut all of them off.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s how it comes. I’ve never had a problem eating it myself.”

Woman #2: “Well, I always cut off the stems when I buy fresh spinach at the store.”

(At this point I really don’t know what else to say. I apologize again, but leave the plate, as Woman #2 is nearly through the salad. When I clear the table, she’s left the pile of spinach stems on half the plate. I bring it up with the owner/cook later.)

Owner: “It’s triple-washed, organic baby spinach. You’re supposed to eat the whole thing!”

Just Three Hot Minutes Away From Complete Anarchy

, | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I am the manager for a busy fast food chain. Naturally, when we run out of product because it sells quicker than expected, we have to cook more.)

Drive-Thru: “Sir, it’ll be about three minutes for the chicken to finish cooking. Do you want something else or is waiting okay?”

Customer #1: “No, I’ll wait. Just don’t forget about me.” *drives forward and parks*

(The chicken has just come up not even three minutes later and we are in the process of assembling his sandwiches when the customer comes storming inside. So of course I think to myself: “yup, here comes Hell*)

Customer #1: “F**K THIS! I HAD TO WAIT FOR MY FOOD TO COOK. YOU KNOW WHAT? I ORDER HERE EVERYDAY! I WANT MY F***ING FOOD OR MY F***ING MONEY!”

(At this point he is screaming at the top of his lungs, in front of all my other guests.)

Me: “Okay, sir, just give me one moment. Your food just came up. I’ve got it right here for you.”

Customer #1: “F**K THIS. THIS IS A WASTE OF F***ING TIME. I WANT MY FOOD OR MY F***ING MONEY.”

(The food is in my hand, in front of him, as he is screaming this.)

Other Manager: “Sir, she has it ready. Just please stop cursing at us. We have it for you.”

Customer #1: “F*** YOU!”

(At this point there are children inside with another customer.)

Customer #2: “Sir, please stop.”

Customer #1: “YOU WANT TO FIGHT? COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!”

Customer #2: “Sir. There’s no need to curse, that’s all I’m saying.”

Customer #1: “THIS IS F****** AMERICA! I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE F*** I WANT. SO SHUT YOUR GOD-D*** MOUTH!”

(Finally, after five minutes of screaming over the food, he snatches it out of my hand nearly ripping the bag and storms off out the door.)

Customer #2: “What was his problem?”

(We all couldn’t help but just start laughing.)

The Sauce Of All The Weirdness

, | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: *in drive-thru* “Can I get a [Sandwich #1]? But what comes on that?”

Me: “It comes with lettuce, cheese, special sauce, onions, pickles, meat, and bread.”

Customer: “Okay, yeah. Can I have that, but I don’t want a bun. Or cheese.”

Me: “Okay, I can do that.”

Customer: “I don’t want onions or lettuce either. And no pickles. And no meat. What does that leave?”

Me: “Sauce.”

Customer: “And no sauce either.”

Me: “So, you don’t want the [Sandwich #1]?”

Customer: “No, I want it. Hey, what’s on the [Sandwich #2]?”

Me: “It comes with—”

Customer: *drives off into the distance never to be seen or heard again*

(What the f*** just happened?)

Getting Bitter About It

, | OK, USA | Bad Behavior

(We have two kinds of iced tea, sweet and unsweet, and we also have two different artificial sweeteners. Many people want these sweeteners if they get unsweet tea. The customer pulls up to the window I’m working during one of our busiest times.)

Customer: “Hi, I just came from [Other Location] and I got an unsweet tea. I was wondering if I could have some sweeteners.”

Me: “Sure, let me go get some.”

(I run and get a couple packets of each sweetener to see which one the woman wants, and she shakes her head as soon as she sees them.)

Customer: *starting to get angry* “You don’t have [Other Brand of sweetener]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no, but I can—”

Customer: “Guess I’ll have to do without it. Thanks for nothing, b****!”

(The woman speeds out of the drive-thru, nearly hitting someone on her way out.)

Customer #2: *having heard the better part of the exchange* “Good thing I don’t need [Other Brand of sweetener], but she needs some for her attitude.”

Page 5/311First...34567...Last