I had just finished serving a party of 26 people on my own and had stayed 3 hours past my shift to wait on them, they were extremely unruly and had worn me out.
Customer [waving her bill & receipt she has already paid for in my face]: What is this?!
Me: That’s your bill & receipt, Ma’am.
Customer: Um, then why is there a tip on there already for $3.24?!
Me: Parties of 8 or more get an automatic gratuity added.
Customer: Well, I was just gonna leave you a dollar!
Me: I’m sorry Ma’am the computers put the gratuity on there already. But if you had a problem with my service I can get a manager to take it off for you.
Customer: You didn’t do nothing wrong. I was just going to give you a dollar.
Me [tired and ready to go]: Okay, if you will just wait here for a moment, I will go get a manager so we can sort this out.
Customer: I don’t have the time for that. I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A DOLLAR.
Customer then proceeds to throw a dollar bill at me and storm off.
Me [calling after customer]: But you’ve already been charged for the $3.24 tip…
(A family with two small children is sitting at a table across from me eating pizza. The father has been serving slices cut in half to the children, who look to be around three years old.)
Mother: “What do you say to daddy, sweetheart?”
Little Girl: “F*** you!”
Mother: “No, no, honey. You mean ‘Thank you!'”
Little Girl: “Fank you!”
Mother: *to me* “She’s still learning.”
(I work at a little Southeast Asian curry take-away place, and we have ten different curries, and three sizes. Among that we have rendang and Penang beef.)
Customer: “I’ll have the beef.”
Me: “Which one?”
Customer: *says something like pedang, redang, renang, rendang, and pointing at the opposite one they wanted*
Me: “Okay, cool. Which size?”
Customer: “Meal size.”
(I am working a beachfront restaurant with a clear view of the beach and ocean.)
Tourist: “How high above sea level are we?”
(I look at him then at the water and then back to him:)
Me: “I don’t know about you but I’m about four feet.”
(They were facing the water…)
(I work as a cashier at a well-known fast food restaurant. The customer I was serving asked for his food to take out.)
Me: “Would you like a cup holder for your drinks?”
Customer: “Is that the thing that goes on top?”
Me: “No, sir, that’s a lid…”