| USA | Unfiltered

I had just finished serving a party of 26 people on my own and had stayed 3 hours past my shift to wait on them, they were extremely unruly and had worn me out.

Customer [waving her bill & receipt she has already paid for in my face]: What is this?!

Me: That’s your bill & receipt, Ma’am.

Customer: Um, then why is there a tip on there already for $3.24?!

Me: Parties of 8 or more get an automatic gratuity added.

Customer: Well, I was just gonna leave you a dollar!

Me: I’m sorry Ma’am the computers put the gratuity on there already. But if you had a problem with my service I can get a manager to take it off for you.

Customer: You didn’t do nothing wrong. I was just going to give you a dollar.

Me [tired and ready to go]: Okay, if you will just wait here for a moment, I will go get a manager so we can sort this out.

Customer: I don’t have the time for that. I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A DOLLAR.

Customer then proceeds to throw a dollar bill at me and storm off.

Me [calling after customer]: But you’ve already been charged for the $3.24 tip…

Does It Look Like I Give A Thank?

| Boston, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Popular, Rude & Risque

(A family with two small children is sitting at a table across from me eating pizza. The father has been serving slices cut in half to the children, who look to be around three years old.)

Mother: “What do you say to daddy, sweetheart?”

Little Girl: “F*** you!”

Mother: “No, no, honey. You mean ‘Thank you!'”

Little Girl: “Fank you!”

Mother: *to me* “She’s still learning.”

Doesn’t Know What Dang Beef She Wants

| Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work at a little Southeast Asian curry take-away place, and we have ten different curries, and three sizes. Among that we have rendang and Penang beef.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef.”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: *says something like pedang, redang, renang, rendang, and pointing at the opposite one they wanted*

Me: “Okay, cool. Which size?”

Customer: “Meal size.”

Me: “…!!!”

Fails To Sea The Level

| Maui, HI, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am working a beachfront restaurant with a clear view of the beach and ocean.)

Tourist: “How high above sea level are we?”

(I look at him then at the water and then back to him:)

Me: “I don’t know about you but I’m about four feet.”

(They were facing the water…)

Has A Loose Hold On Definitions

, | Nottingham, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work as a cashier at a well-known fast food restaurant. The customer I was serving asked for his food to take out.)

Me: “Would you like a cup holder for your drinks?”

Customer: “Is that the thing that goes on top?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s a lid…”