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Her Attitude Is In Need Of “Help”

| Nashville, TN, USA | Bad Behavior

(I am a bartender at a large event venue. Our restaurant often hosts high profile parties for very wealthy clients (musicians, actors, etc.). I’m carrying a tray loaded with hors d’oeuvres trying to navigate a room packed with 300 country music stars, their families, and production staff. One of the celebrities swings her arm back and hits me in the face. I hear her say something which I interpreted as “Oh, I’m sorry!” and I reply by turning around and saying in my charming southern accent:)

Me: “You’re fine, honey. Accidents happen.”

Celebrity: “I didn’t apologize. I said, get out of my picture. I don’t want the help in my pictures.”

Me: “I didn’t realize I was ‘the help.’ My sincerest apologies. I won’t come anywhere near your pictures, ma’am.”

Celebrity: “And your hors d’oeuvres suck.”

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So-Duh

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(I work as a waitress at a low-end diner. Recently, we switched from selling Pepsi to Coke products. I have had some trouble explaining this to dedicated patrons in the past, but this one incident takes the cake.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name], and I will be your waitress this evening. Can I get you started off with something to drink; maybe some lemonade, iced tea, or a Cok—”

Customer: “I’ll take a Pepsi, diet.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we have Coke products. Perhaps you’d like a Dr. Pepper or Root—”

Customer:” Oh, I guess Mountain Dew is fine, then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product. We have Co—”

Customer: *louder than before* “I’ll take a SIERRA MIST.”

Me: *desperately* “Is Sprite okay?”

Customer: *practically shouting* “No, I don’t LIKE Sprite! Jesus Christ, what do you guys sell here?!”

Me: “We sell Coke products, ma’am…”

(I then recite a comprehensive list of all Coke products we have.)

Customer: *thinking* “You know what? I’ll just have a water. I shouldn’t be drinking soda anyway.”

Me: “I’ll get that for you right away…”

(She was cheerful for the rest of the meal but left no tip. My manager told me that she does this every week and every week she complains to corporate.)

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Standing Orders

| BC, Canada | Food & Drink

(I’m a host at a patio that has an inside room for large parties. On this particular night we have an appetizer party of 100 people inside. A woman wanders out with her glass of wine and stands in the patio entrance.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m sorry but I have to ask you to return inside, as it violates our liquor license to have customers stand outside with open alcohol.”

Customer: *gesturing at the patio guests* “Then what are all these people doing?”

Me: “Sitting, ma’am.”

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Avocano-no

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A woman comes into the restaurant I work in and orders a salad during a dinner rush. It takes longer than normal to make, but not an obscene amount of time.)

Me: “Here you go, [Customer]!”

(She looks at the salad.)

Customer: “Why does this have avocado on it? I’ve been a customer of this place since it started and this salad has never had avocado on it. I’m allergic to avocado. I can’t eat this!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry! I can remake this for you, if you want?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time. Just pull it off the top.”

(I do as she asks, and she storms out. I’m shaking, and I don’t notice my manager coming out from the office.)

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “She ordered [Salad] and she said it’s never had avocado on it before.”

Manager: “That’s BS. I’ve worked at this restaurant since the beginning, and that salad has always had avocado on it.”

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Katy Perry Fries

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A clearly irate customer walks up to my counter holding a carton of fries.)

Customer: “These fries are too cold! Straight from the refrigerator, I’d gather!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’ll get you another one.”

(I take back her fries, but before throwing them away, I try a piece–it tastes warm. Figuring she wants really hot fries, I get her some that are fresh out of the fryer.)

Me: “Here you go!” *hands customer the fries*

Customer: *tries a piece* “No, I can’t eat this! It’s still cold! It’s disgusting!” *storms away, leaving the fries behind*

Me: *baffled*

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