Getting Pumped Up

, | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work for a well-known fast food breakfast chain. A 30-ish man steps up to the counter.)

Customer: “I would like a small coffee with extra, extra cream and extra, extra pumpkin spice and three sugars, please.”

(I’m working the coffee station so I get to work on it. Note that the default for any in a small coffee is two. It’d be two sugars, two creams, two pumps of pumpkin, etc. For every “extra” a customer asks for, we put an additional unit. For his order I use four creams, four pumps of pumpkin goo, and three sugars. And in a small coffee, this takes up more than half the cup. I give the man his coffee after I’ve finished it. Moments later he returns.)

Customer: “Excuse me… It’s not even hot.”

Me: “Oh, well, the cream and pumpkin are refrigerated so it’s not going to be that hot. Would you like me to use less?”

Customer: “NO! I want extra, extra cream, extra extra pumpkin, three sugars!”

(I make the coffee with three creams and three pumps this time with three sugars. I give him the coffee and he tastes it.)

Customer: “Look, this is ridiculous. It’s lukewarm. I need to see a manager.”

(I sent my manager over and watch the customer flail around explaining how terrible I am. Manager made him a coffee with one cream, one pump, one sugar. Guy seemed satisfied and left. Manager looked at me and shrugged.)

Your Order Will Be Ready Never

| Mashpee, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m a supervisor in a popular health food restaurant where you pick up your food at the counter when it’s ready. Customers usually give a name and get a pager to ensure that they receive the correct order, but some customers wait by the counter instead of at a table. On this particular day, we are short staffed, so I am assembling plates and putting them on the counter.)

Me: *puts two plates on counter* “Order for Sue!”

(A man who has been standing nearby comes over to the counter.)

Man: “Ooooh, what are these?”

Me: “That’s [Menu Item]. Did you have an order for Sue?”

Man: “I think my order was under Joe, but wow, these look great!” *proceeds to pick up the plate*

Me: “Excuse me, that order is for a different customer. You can’t just take someone else’s plate!”

Man: “And who’s going to stop me? You, fatty?”

Me: “Sir, I’m six months pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get around this counter quick enough to stop you from walking off with those plates that clearly do not belong to you. Your order is almost ready and it looks like you ordered something entirely different than this customer.”

Man: “I’d like to see you try that.”

(He turns to walk away and bumps into an older woman, spilling all of the food all over the floor.)

Woman: “Oh, my goodness! Let me help you.”

(She gets him some napkins and I have already directed one of my cashiers to clean up the mess.)

Woman: “Do you have an order for Sue? My pager went off.”

Man: “Your food got ruined thanks to this nasty b**** over here!”

Woman: “What happened?”

Me: “This customer decided your food looked better than what he ordered and tried to take your plates. I asked him to stop, but you came just in time to stop him from receiving service here ever again.”

(After hearing a great deal of protest from the rude sandwich thief, my manager gave him a refund and asked him not to come back. I ended up giving Sue his lunch in a doggy bag after remaking her order.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)

Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”

Customer: “With.”

(The guacamole has onion in it.)

Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)

Me: “Any rice or beans?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”

Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”

Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”

(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

A Wrong Order And Out Of Order

, | Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a popular fast food chain. There are a few problem customers that come through regularly and try to scam us to get free food. This one couple comes in a lot and tries to say that one of the managers said that they can have free food because their order was messed up. Fortunately, one of my managers knows who they are, so when they order my manager goes out of their way to make sure that their order is correct. Keep in mind that there is another manager in the grill making their sandwiches, plus another manager that runs their food out to them and stands at their car and watches them check their food to make sure that it is correct. Sure enough, not 10 minutes after they leave, we get a phone call.)

Customer: “Hi. I just came through the drive-thru, and my order was wrong. There was no ham on my sandwich!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry to hear about that. Did you just come through and we had to park you?”

Customer: “Yeah. Every time I come through you guys mess up my order! I demand you guys compensate me!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry. But I’ve been told from my boss that I cannot give you guys any more free food. We know who you are and that you try to scam us. I had three managers check to make sure that your order was correct, and I stood out there to make sure that you guys checked your food. There is nothing more I can do for you.”

Customer: “Now listen here, b****! I—“

(At this point my manager is at the end of her line, so she hangs up the phone. Sure enough, we get another call back from the same number, so another manager, the one who was in the grill, answers the phone instead.)

Manager #2: “[Restaurant], this is [Manager #2]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! I was rudely hung up on by another manager when I was complaining! I was trying to say that my order was wrong AGAIN. There was no ham on my sandwich, and now my food is cold!”

Manager #2: “I am sorry to hear that, but unfortunately we cannot do anything to help you. We have been told by our general manager that we cannot help you anymore.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You guys always mess up my food! I can bring this sandwich up and show you that there is no ham on it!”

Manager #2: “Well, you can do that, but be assured that I know that that sandwich had ham on it when it left the store. Whether you took it off is none of my concern.”

Customer: “And how do you know that?”

Manager #2: “Because I am the one that made your food.”

Customer: “Are you f****** calling me a liar? I know when my food is messed up.”

Manager #2: “Well, unfortunately there is nothing more we can do. You have a fabulous day.”

(Manager #2 proceeded to hang up the phone. I don’t get why people think that they can continuously scam a restaurant into getting free food even when we had three managers check it! Fortunately, we haven’t seen them since. Hopefully they learned their lesson.)

H2-Slowly Getting There

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a restaurant that primarily serves FRIED chicken and I’m running the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, how do you make your chicken?”

Me: “We bread and deep-fry it, sir.”

Customer: “So you mean in grease?”

Me: “Yes, sir, in grease.”

Customer: “Do you have any chicken sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes the numbers 2, 3, and 4.”

Customer: “Oh. How much for a glass of water?”

Me: “That’s free, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

(This conversation took four minutes. All he wanted was water.)

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