What’s Cold Is So Hot Right Now

, | Monroe, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a very well known fast food place and am almost always the order taker and cashier during night shifts. One of my regular customers always gets the same thing: large coffee, seven creams and seven sugars. One time she said she wanted to try the iced coffee we have and wanted her usual.)

Me: “So you have hot coffee and cold coffee in on order. Makes me think of Katy Perry.”

Customer: *laughs* “You’re right; I didn’t think of that.”

Me: *jokingly* “Next time you want to order this you should ask for a ‘Katy Perry Order.’”

Customer: “I might just do that!”

(A couple nights later:)

Me: “Thank you for stopping at [Restaurant]. Order when you’re ready!”

Customer: “Yeah. I’d like one Katy Perry order, please!”

(I smile at it to this day and she still comes through with that order.)

Going Nuts Over A Berry

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a restaurant that gives complimentary chocolate strawberries and baguette roll with a combo. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, due to a shortage in Texas we do not have any strawberries.”

Customer: *visual anger rises* “What you mean you don’t have strawberries?!”

Me: “Strawberries are out of season in Texas where we order produce from, so we do not have any in the store. Actually all of the [Restaurant]s in Arizona do not have strawberries. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I AM APPALLED! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! I want a discount on my entire meal!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately I can’t do that because we do not charge you for the bread or strawberries. They come complimentary with the meal.”

Customer: “Where the h*** does it say that?!” *she grabs a menu* “Show me!”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points to and reads the exact line that says “Combo comes complimentary with a chocolate dipped strawberry and baguette roll.”*

Customer: “Well, then I want a free slice of cheesecake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. I unfortunately can’t do that. Again, I’m sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.”

Customer: “I’m calling MY attorney general and you will see me in court for false advertising! Nowhere does it say that it comes with the meal!”

Me: “Would you like me to read the menu to you, ma’am?”

Customer: “NO! YOU’LL SEE ME IN COURT!”

Me: *with a big smile* “Okay, ma’am! Have a nice night!”

Customer: *looks at me and yells* “OKAY!” *smugly walks away*

Me: *turns to the next customer* “Unfortunately we are out of dipped strawberries at the moment. Is that okay, ma’am?”

Next Customer: “Of course it’s okay! It’s only a strawberry!”

Not Behaving Like A Ladies

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(We’ve just been alerted by a customer that the ladies’ restroom is out of toilet paper, so we’ve sent one of the cashiers to replace the rolls. Another customer approaches the pickup counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, there’s no toilet paper in the ladies’ room.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. [Other Coworker] is bringing it out right now and she’ll replace it in a moment.”

Coworker: *angrily* “Well, if it takes too long, she’ll have a puddle to clean up on the floor instead!”

(The cashier refilled the paper just a few seconds after that, but the customer still left our corporate office a profanity-laden voicemail about our rudeness.)

They’ve Left The Reservation

| Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Popular

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I want a reservation for [date] at [time].”

Me: *pulls up date on reservation system* “Fantastic! We do have availability—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Great. I will see you then.”

Me: “Ma’am, before you go, I’m going to need a little bit of information to book a reservation for you.”

Customer: “Yeah. What do you need?”

Me: “Well, first I’m going to need your name…”

(This happens almost daily.)

Something Fowl About That Menu

| Japan | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work at a fried chicken restaurant, but there is a burger restaurant across the parking lot. Our buildings are in no way similar and our menus are two different styles and very different colors. A customer pulls up to the drive through window.)

Recorded Message: “Welcome to [Chicken Restaurant]! Would you like a combo today?”

Me: “Hello, may I help you today?”

Customer: “Um… give me a minute. I want to look at the menu.”

Me: “Ok. Just let us know when you’re ready.”

(About two minutes later:)

Customer: “Okay. I’m ready.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can we get you today?”

Customer: “Can I have two double cheeseburgers?”

(My jaw drops a bit and I just kind of stare at my managers for a moment before I just start laughing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is [Chicken Restaurant]. We only serve chicken, not burgers.”

Customer: “This isn’t [Burger Restaurant]?”

Me: “No ma’am, this is [Chicken Restaurant]. The burger place is across the parking lot.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The customer drives away. My managers are now shaking their heads while I’m doubled over laughing.)