No One Is Getting Fired Or On Fire Today

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am eating my lunch at a popular lunch spot. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. I grab my stuff and head out, along with the employees and all but one of the customers.)

Customer #1: “Hey! Where are you going? I want my food!”

Employee: “Sir, the fire alarm is going off! Get outside!”

Customer #1: “I want my [item]! Give it to me!”

Employee: “Get outside! If this turns out to be nothing, we’ll make you a new one.”

(The customer continues to make a fuss, but is shooed outside by the employees and some helpful customers. He stands outside, continuing to complain. The fire department arrives and the firefighters run inside. While they’re in there (and the fire truck sits directly in front of the main door, lights flashing) and the fire alarm continues to sound, a man approaches and tries to go in.)

Employee: *shouting* “Sir! Don’t go in!”

Customer #2: “I called in an order, and paid for it.”

Employee: “And once the firefighters come out and say that everything’s safe, you’ll get it.”

Customer #2: “I don’t see any flames. I want my food.”

Employee: *exasperated* “No one is going inside until the fire department okays it.”

Customer #2: “What if it gets cold?”

Employee: “If it’s ready and waiting, it’ll be in the warmer. But if something’s wrong with it, we’ll make a new one.”

(Customer #2 made a big show of standing directly in front of the door, arms crossed, and looking at his watch. After a few minutes, the firefighters concluded that the alarm malfunctioned and left. Everyone headed back in and business resumed. Both the jerk customers continued to complain, going to far as to demand free or discounted food for their trouble. The manager kicked them both out. They left, threatening to call corporate and get everyone fired for being “lazy.”)


She Needs All The Sweetness She Can Get

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working at a well-known fast food restaurant when a lady comes in and asks for a large vanilla iced coffee with two extra pumps of sugar. We already put five pumps in all large iced coffees. A little while later she comes running back up to the counter. I hear the conversation between my manager and her.)

Lady: “You got it wrong again! This is too sweet! How hard is it to make a god- d***ed iced coffee with TWO extra sugar!?”

Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I will be happy to replace your coffee but I have to ask you to refrain from cussing. There are children here.”

Lady: “Fine! Just get me my coffee. ONLY TWO extra sugars! Not 20 like you always do!”

(My manager goes to make her a new iced coffee. He hands it to her and asks her to try it.)

Lady: “Finally! Someone can get it right.”

(She storms out of the store without another word and I walk over to my manager.)

Me: “Sir, I made that coffee and I can assure you I only put 2 extra sugars in it.”

Manager: “I know. She comes in every now and then and does the same thing. What she really wants is ONLY two pumps of sugar.”

Me: “Has anyone told her?”

Manager: “Yes, but she insists that extra means only.”


| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Unfiltered

(I’m a waiter at a restaurant. This happens while I’m out with a friend on my night off. I’m in need of a bathroom, so I have a quick look at the menu, tell my friend what I want, and dash off while she puts the order in.)

Me: *chatting while we wait for our food* “So the guy sends it back and complains because his filet mignon has bacon. Either you know what filet mignon is, in which case, you know it has bacon, or you don’t, in which case, you read the freaking menu!”

(At this point our food arrives.)

Me: *seeing prawns on top of mine* “That’s not right. I didn’t order prawns.”

(Seeing the concerned look on the waiter’s face I realise:)

Me: “…or I didn’t read the menu properly. Can I get a side plate, please?”

(The waiter was a lovely guy and happy to help. My friend spent the whole meal laughing at me for not reading the menu while bitching about customers who don’t read the menu!)


It’s Taco-ver

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a very popular Mexican grill restaurant where we serve food down a line and you build your item of choice to your liking. A customer orders a bowl and starts to make it and everything goes completely fine. Next she decides to order for someone else.)

Customer: *in a Hispanic accent* “I also want a burrito.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am!”

(I put tortilla in the press and proceed to take it out and get ready to build it.)

Customer: “Do you have smaller burritos?”

Me: “No ma’am, the only thing smaller is tacos.”

Customer: “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I want!”

(Our tacos come with three in one serving so I put the taco shells in the press and proceed to ask her what kind of rice beans and meat she would like in her tacos.)

Me: “So what kind of rice would you like?”

Customer: “Uh… I’ll take the brown rice.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of beans would you like?”

Customer: “Black beans.”

Me: “Great, now what kind of meat?”

(Everything seems fine until I get to the third taco. Keep in mind that she’s watched me make all three tacos the entire time.)

Customer: “Oh, I only wanted one taco.”

(I look at my manager who sees my face and is trying so hard not to laugh.)


Pumpkin Impossible

| NY, USA | Holidays

(I am the customer in this story. Some friends and I are visiting to attend a book signing by our favorite author, known for writing a wildly popular children’s fantasy series. Our waitress, who is waiting tables at this singing restaurant until she gets a break on Broadway, notices that we’re wearing memorabilia from that series.)

Waitress: “Oh! You’re fans of [Series]! Me, too! In fact, my roommate and I just carved our Halloween pumpkins and did designs from the series. Would you like to see a picture?”

Us: “Absolutely!”

Waitress: “Okay, I’ll get in trouble if my manager sees me with my phone out on the floor, so we have to be very covert about this.”

(At this point, she started humming the theme tune from a popular spy movie and carefully tipped her phone out of her pocket onto the table so we could look. We showed one of the pictures to the author later that evening at the signing, who also thought she was very talented! I think about that waitress all the time and hope she’s doing well in her career.)

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