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Not So Hot And Pretty In Pink

| USA | Home Improvement

(My friend’s family owns a reception hall at their restaurant. She’s showing the hall for a wedding to a potential client.)

Friend: “So, any questions for me?”

Potential Client: “Yes… My colors are black and hot pink. Do you think we could paint that wall black on the bottom and hot pink on top?”

(Note that the walls are painted an off-white color with a generic border along the chair rail. They had just recently remodeled within the past couple years, too. My friend’s not sure if the woman is serious or not, so she somewhat humors her.)

Friend: Well… sure. But then you’d have to paint it back the way we have it now and put the same border up.”

Potential Client: “Oh. Well, I don’t want to do that.”

(Turned out she had actually been serious and had wanted to paint the walls! She of course didn’t want to take my friend’s offer and went with a different venue. I wonder if she found somewhere that let her paint the walls!)

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The Mother Of All Complainers

| Cleveland, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Popular

(I work at a restaurant where a server has to pay the bill if a customer walks out. One day a customer arrives with his friends. The group decides to split the bill between them. One young man writes down the name of a friend and leaves the restaurant. After contacting him on Facebook, he agrees to pay. After a full run around that takes four to five days, he ultimately does not. I am having an unpleasant day, and do not feel like losing out, even for a small amount. I contact the police. Afterwards, his mother arrives to tell me off.)

Mother: “Just who the f*** do you think you are calling the police? You made me look like an idiot over eight dollars. You should feel ashamed about making such a problem over this.”

Me: “Your son wrote down the name of his friend and walked out. That isn’t acceptable. In here, we have to pay if someone walks out, and I don’t like losing out. Short of that, what he did was illegal.”

Mother: *screaming* “How DARE you? My child wouldn’t do such a thing, and you harassed him over some imaginary crime and made a big problem out of seven dollars? It’s eight dollars. It means nothing!”

Me: “If it’s nothing, then would you kindly pay? I need to work, and you’re scaring the other patrons.”

Mother: *ear-splitting shrieks* “I will not. Quit making problems for good people. I don’t have the time for this.”

(The manager walks up.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I have to ask you to leave. You are causing a disturbance.”

Mother: “I’ll make as much noise as I want until this b**** stops complaining about her imaginary money!”

(Shortly after the police were contacted, and two officers dragged her out. She tried to come back twice, but she was informed if she showed up again she would be detained.)

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Yellow-Stoney Faces

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Time, Tourists/Travel

(I am a busboy at a local high-end restaurant in Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s 15 minutes past closing time. I’m out cleaning tables, when suddenly I’m beckoned over by one of the last holdouts of the night. I notice they are all on their phones.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Can you get our server?”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. I’ll be just one second.”

(I run and grab their server, and go drop off the dishes I collected. On my way back out to the dining room, I run into the server, looking bemused.)

Me: “What did they want?”

Server: *deep sigh* “They wanted a map of Yellowstone Park.”

Me: *laughing* “Really?! They stayed 15 minutes past closing for that? What’d you tell them?”

Server: “I told them we don’t have any, and then they asked me where they could find one. I told them, ‘Probably at a gas station. In Wyoming.’ And they were like, ‘Oh! A gas station! Okay, we’ll go there. Thank you very much!’”

Me: *laughing harder* “Yeah, or they could’ve just found one on the phones they had out in front of their freaking faces.”

Server: “No kidding!”

Me: “Did they tip you well?”

Server: “Not really.”

Me: “F*** them. I hope they never find Yellowstone.”

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No Meat In Their Brain, Part 5

| UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(Working at a popular fast food restaurant, I get a customer come up to my till.)

Me: “Hi, can I take your order?”

Customer: “Just a cheeseburger, please.”

(I tell him the price, take the money, and give him his burger. The customer comes rushing back looking sick.)

Me: “Is everything all right?”

Customer: “I asked for a f***ing cheese burger.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I gave you.”

Customer: “This has meat on it. I’m a f***ing vegetarian; I wanted just the cheeseburger.”

Me: “All burgers come with meat unless asked to be removed.”

Customer: “You should have known because I asked for a CHEESE burger.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but that comes with beef unless stated like I just said.”

Customer: “F*** YOU.”

(He storms out leaving the half-eaten burger and I’m left confused as to why we wouldn’t have meat on our burgers.)

Related:
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 4
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2

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The Key Is To Tip

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Popular

(I work at a local high-class restaurant as a busboy. I was out cleaning tables when one of the hosts came up to me.)

Host: “Did you happen to see a hotel key on [table number]?”

Me: “No, I didn’t.”

Host: “Okay. The customer said he swore he left it on the table.”

Me: “Well, if I saw anything, I would have given it to you.”

(Truth be told, I didn’t bus that table. The server actually beat me to it. Out of curiosity, I approached the server later and asked her about it.)

Me: “Hey, did you happen to find a hotel key on [table number]?”

Server: “Yeah. I threw it away.”

Me: “Why?!”

Server: “Because the dude was an a**, and he also didn’t tip me. I’ve only not been tipped three times in my entire career. He can rot.”

(Moral of the story: The wrath of an un-tipped server is strong. Please tip your servers.)

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