Customers Are Going Gaga

, | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

(He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

Language Barrier Drives A Wedge Between Us

| Louisville, KY, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(Our snack bar sell typical snack bar type stuff, like popcorn and pretzels, as well as pizzas. Two clearly foreign women come to the counter and look at the menu for a few moments.)

Me: “What can I get you tonight?”

Customer #1: “You have pizza?”

Me: “Yes, I have a cheese pizza coming out of the oven in just a minute, and a pepperoni ready right now.”

Customer #1: “You have wedgie?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #2: “You have wedgie deluxe?”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

(I suddenly realize that they’re trying to say ‘Veggie’.)

Me: “No, we don’t. We only have cheese and pepperoni.”

Customer #1: “No wedgie toppings?”

Me: *trying very hard not to crack up laughing* “No, sorry, just cheese and pepperoni.”

(They thank me and walk away. A few moments later, they return and order the cheese pizza.)

Customer #1: “You should get wedgie. I love it.”

Willy Always Was A Bit Wonky

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like an oompa loompa.”

Me: “Oompa loompa?”

Customer: “Yes, one of those caramel apple oompa loompas!”

Me: “Do you mean an empinada?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I said.”

Must Be Really Hungry

, | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Your table is not quite ready yet. Let me give you this pager it will go off as soon as the table is set.”

Customer: “Ok, thank you. What’s the range on this pager?”

Me: “Just on this side of the courtyard.”

Customer: “Alright, and if I lick it, will it electrocute me?”

Me: *pause* “Please…just…don’t.”

Fritzl Be One Of Those Days

, | Morgantown, WV, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [fast food]. What would you like today?”

Customer: *stares wide-eyed for a few moments* “Well, aren’t you the most adorable creature I have ever seen!”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Can I interest you in our special today?”

Customer: “I could just steal you and take you home in my wallet to live in my basement! My wife doesn’t like the basement, but it can be quite homey!”

Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

Customer: “Hurry! Into my wallet before anyone else decides to steal you!”

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