Should Have Put A Lid On It

, | FL, USA | Right | January 18, 2015

(The customer enters the restaurant and looks confused. I take his order and notice he often mumbles words to himself. Once he is done ordering I hand him his cups which he goes to fill up and once he comes back, I notice he has a lid on only one cup.)

Me: “Sir, do you need a lid for that second drink?”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Nah, I already blew my lid this morning.” *walks away*

Lucky Thirteen

| CT, USA | Friendly | January 17, 2015

(I dance competitively. After a particularly grueling several-days-long competition, I’m very tired, but my parents want to take me to dinner to celebrate. I haven’t even washed off my stage makeup, and when we get to restaurant it’s packed, and there’s no room in the waiting area for me to sit. Since it’s cooler outside anyway, I go and take a seat on a bench. After a few minutes I hear voices, and look up to see three or four guys, about 19 or 20, approaching me. Once sits on the bench next to me.)

Guy: “Hey there, how’re you doing?”

Me: “Uh, um… I’m okay…”

Guy: “Yeah? Whatcha doin out here?”

Me: *thinking this is a ‘there’s candy in my van’ sort of situation* “I- I’m just getting food with my parents! They’re waiting right inside!”

Guy: “Ah, parents.” *rolls eyes*

Me: “Um… yeah?”

Guy: “You from around here?”

Me: *slowly catching on* “N-not really…”

Guy: “You’re kinda young, aren’t you? How old are you?”

Me: “Thirteen.”

(The guy jumps up like the bench was on fire while his friends crack up laughing.)

Guy: “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t… I mean, you don’t look… Thirteen?!”

(They wandered away laughing, occasionally tossing comments back at me trying to figure out of I was lying or not. I wasn’t)

A Recipe For Disaster, Part 2

, | Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | January 16, 2015

(Since I was two, I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease, which means that I can’t eat gluten. So I’m gluten-free, but most definitely not by choice. The most difficult part is eating out, because often employees won’t know what to do.)

Me: “Is this item gluten-free?”

Employee: “No, nothing is free.”

Me: “No, does this item have any gluten in it?”

Employee: “Gluten? What is gluten?”

Me: “Wheat, barley, rye, oats, or spelt – are any of those ingredients in this product?”

Employee: “One second.”

(He then gets out his iPhone, and I presume it’s to call someone who created the product to make sure. Instead, he goes onto Google to search up ‘gltin.’)

Employee: “How do you spell it?”

Me: “Uh, never mind. I’ll just have [product that in no way could have gluten].”

A Recipe For Disaster

It’s ‘Like’ Marriage

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Romantic | January 15, 2015

(My husband and I love the food at a local Thai restaurant, so we frequently walk there to get lunch on the weekends. This happens when we get the check:)

Waitress: “Here’s your check! I notice you guys here all the time and you’re always laughing together. You guys must be really good friends!”

Me: “Oh, we’re more than friends. We’re married!”

(We flash our wedding bands at her.)

Waitress: “Oh… oh! Wow, I had no idea. You guys don’t act like ANY married couple I’ve ever seen here; you actually seem to like each other!”

Me: “Well… uh… thanks?”

(The waitress walked away shaking her head, mystified by the fact that two married people could actually like each other.)

Going On A Playful Trip

| Cremona, Italy | Related | January 15, 2015

(My dad and I are walking down towards a small cafe when we see a man burst out running and a waiter follow soon after.)

Waiter: “Stop! Stop him!”

(My dad looks uncertain but sticks his foot out and trips the ‘runner.’)

Runner: *falls and curses*

(The waiter catches up and pins him against the wall. Later we see him drag him away back to the cafe.)

Me: “Wow, such action.”

Dad: “I thought they were playing because they were smiling!”

Me: “Then why’d you trip him?”

Dad: “…”

(When we ate at the cafe the waiter gave us 50% off!)

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