Working Drive-Thru Is A Scream

, | Bristow, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m working the drive-thru window.)

Me: “Hi, you had a number two with a coke. That’ll be $6.45.”

Customer: “Okay, sure.”

(She rummages in her wallet.)

Me: “Thanks.”

(I gather her change.)

Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m paying! I’m paying!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know you’re paying. I’m just getting your change. They’re bagging your order right now.”

Customer: “Okay, great.”

(There is a pause while I check her order. Suddenly, I hear her screaming.)

Me: *very concerned* “Ma’am? What’s wrong?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You screamed.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “You definitely did. The whole drive-thru staff heard you.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken.”

Me: “Okay then. Here’s your food. Number two with a soda. Can I get you any condiments?”

Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m eating! I’m eating!”

Me: “So, no condiments?”

Customer: *bellowing* “Goodbye! GOODBYE!”

Lost In No Translation, Part 2

, | Newport Beach, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

Customer: “Ham and swiss on rye.”

Me: “What would you like for your side?”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “What. Would. You. Like. For. Your. Side?”

Customer: “Are you speaking French?”

Lost In No Translation

Let There Be Light(ers)

| Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have any tables available outside?”

(They look straight ahead to the patio and cut me off before I can say a word.)

Customer: “Oh, never mind. The sun is shining in the direction of the patio.”

Me: “We have a second patio on the other side of the restaurant.”

(I am about to lead them there when the customer realizes there is a non-smoking sign.)

Customer: “Oh, never mind. I need to be able to smoke. I guess we’ll take the patio with the sunlight shining.”

(I am taking them out to their table when the customer’s wife turns and smiles to me.)

Customer’s wife: “We just don’t want to get cancer from the sun.”

Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim

| UT, USA | Uncategorized

(Two customers come in and stand for a minute looking at the menu.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Customer #1: “Jeez, you guys need to turn on some more lights in here! I can barely see the menu!”

(There is an extended pause as his friend and I stare at him.)

Customer #2: “Maybe because you’re still wearing your sunglasses?”

(He pauses, and then takes off the sunglasses.)

Customer #1: “Oh.”

Eating Steak On Rare Occasions

| Scranton, PA, USA | Top

Customer: “I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.”

Me: “Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.”

Customer: “Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!”

Me: “Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you–”

Customer: “I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn’t for real men! Extra rare!”

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ‘Black and Blue’. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer’s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: “What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there?”

Me: “Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.”

Customer: “Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don’t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold?”

Me: ”Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.”

Customer: “What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold

Me: ”I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.”

Customer: “No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let’s go to that sushi place next door!”

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