Too Chicken To Order The Veggies

| Houghton, NY, USA | Working | April 17, 2015

(My college fast food joint recently had a change in management. I am a vegetarian.)

Cashier: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Hi, can I have the veggie wrap?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t think we have those.”

Me: *surprised* “I’ve ordered them here before with no problem.”

Cashier: “One moment.” *yells back to manager* “Can we make a veggie wrap?”

Manager: *from back* “No! We only have a chicken wrap!”

Cashier: *turns back to me* “Sorry, we don’t have those. I’m not sure why the previous owners were able to make one for you. We only have chicken wraps.”

Me: “…Well, could I have a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Cashier: *wheels turning* “…Hey, [Manager], can we just do a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Manager: *silence* “Yeah, I guess we could do that!”

Cashier: “Okay! What would you like on that?”

(Every time I went there from then on, I had to specifically order ‘the chicken wrap without the chicken.’ Only ONE cashier in the next two years of me going to college there asked why I hadn’t just asked for a vegetable wrap.)

An Order That’s All Gravy

, | AB, Canada | Working | April 17, 2015

(Poutine is a very popular fast food item in Canada. It’s French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. This happened at a world-famous fast food chain shortly after they added poutine to their menu.)

Me: “Oh, and could I get gravy on my French fries?”

Clerk: “We don’t sell French fries with gravy.”

Me: “Uh… could I get poutine without the cheese?”

Clerk: “No problem!”

Assumptions Are The Devil

| MO, USA | Right | April 17, 2015

(I work in a sandwich shop. I’m working the front counter and taking an order from a couple in their 60s or 70s.)

Customer: “What’s that you’re wearing?” *she points to my the Egyptian ankh I wear as a necklace*

Me: “It’s an ankh. It’s an Egyptian symbol of life.”

(Customer talks quietly to her husband for a moment then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Do you think it gives you special powers?”

Me: “No, I just like the symbol and life.”

(Customer confers with her husband again then asks, deadly serious.)

Customer: “So, do you worship the devil?”

Me: “No. I also don’t insult people just because I don’t understand them.”

1 Thumbs

Don’t Joke About The Pancakes

| Martinez, CA, USA | Related | April 16, 2015

(I, my older brother, and my older sister are waiting for our food at [Restaurant known for pancakes]. I keep looking back waiting for my huge stack of chocolate chip pancakes because I am really hungry, and my siblings are laughing at me because of it.)

Me: *sitting at the table drinking apple juice*

Sister: “Your food’s here.”

Me: *turns around* “WHERE?!”

Brother: *starts laughing and gasping* “Oh, you fell for it!”

Me: *glares at sister and stays silent for a while, before turning to her* “Your make-up’s smeared.”

Sister: “Where?”

Brother: *laughs hysterically* “How did you not see that coming?”

Sister: *glares at me*

Didn’t Notice About The Notice

| USA | Working | April 16, 2015

(I am being interviewed for a job. It is about an hour away from my current job.)

Hiring Manager: “So, you currently work at [Other Restaurant]… I see it’s quite far away.”

Me: “It’s close to my mom’s place. My dad’s place is close to here.”

Hiring Manager: “Ah. So, are you planning on working both jobs, then?”

Me: “No. I’m planning on leaving my current job.”

Hiring Manager: “Ah, okay. So, you’re going to move in with your dad, then.”

Me: “Yes.”

(I’m later accepted for the job. He tells me to meet him and sign the paperwork, so I do that. At this point, I still don’t know when I’m starting. Finally, he calls me a few days after we filled out the paperwork.)

Hiring Manager: “Hello, [My Name]. So, can you start tomorrow?”

Me: “Um, no. I still need to give my two-week’s notice for my current job.”

Hiring Manager: “But I thought you were going to work both jobs at once?”

Me: “No… I told you before that I was planning on leaving my current job.”

Hiring Manager: “Well, why didn’t you give your notice before?”

Me: “Because I still don’t know when I’m starting. How about I start on [date two weeks from now]? Would that work?”

Hiring Manager: “Look, call me back when you get out of your current job.” *click*

(I call back. He doesn’t answer, so I leave a voicemail.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. You just basically asked me to first quit my job before getting my schedule. That’s no good. I want to know that I’m going to still have a job, and I can’t just quit my current job without notice; that would be unprofessional. So please, send me when I’m going to start in writing, and give me two-week’s notice so I can give my two-week’s notice. If you can’t do that, then this isn’t going to work.”

(I get a call back a couple minutes later.)

Hiring Manager: “Well, we need people who are ready to start right now, so we’re just going to have to not hire you.”

(I don’t know what thoughts went through this man’s head to make him think that I could work two jobs that are an hour away from each other at once, or why he thought it reasonable to ask me to just up and leave my current job whenever he needed me to without giving notice.)

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