That Woman Has Some Balls

| Dickson City, PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My friend and I are at a Chinese buffet.)

Me: “Hey, do you want to get those fried dough ball things before we go back to the table?”

My Friend: “Yes! Thank you for the reminder!”

(We walk over to where they’re located, and see a middle-aged woman making her way down the line. She’s at the tray of food next to the dough balls, so we stand back and let her finish what she’s doing.)

My Friend: “I love the dough balls here!”

(The woman looks up from what she’s doing, and stares at us. She reaches over and takes EVERY DOUGH BALL from the tray and puts them on her plate. She then runs away from the line. There were at least 13 dough balls on the tray.)

Me: “I… I don’t know what just happened.”

(A few people around us start to laugh. Thankfully the dough balls were restocked by the time we were done with our first plate of food, and we never ran into that woman again!)

Peanuts Are High In Irony

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A man comes in with his son, who looks to be about nine years old.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys cook anything in peanut oil? My son has a peanut allergy, and he can’t eat anything with peanuts.”

Manager: “No, we don’t. He can have everything here except the salad, which has almond in it.”

Customer’s Son: “Ooh dad, chocolate soda!”

Customer: “What about the chocolate soda?”

Manager: “Oh no, he can’t have that.”

Customer: “Sorry, bud, how about the root beer instead?”

(He orders their food and while they wait, his phone goes off.)

Customer’s Phone: “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”

(He quickly answers it while my coworkers and I are trying not to laugh. He looks a little embarrassed when he hangs up.)

Customer: “Ha, sorry about that. I guess I should change my ring tone, huh?”

Me: “No, I loved the irony!”

Acting Like A Cookie Monster

| TN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have a regular at our restaurant, a 14-year-old, that bikes to our store and gets the same order about once a week. Everyone gets along with him well, and the owner likes him enough to give him free cookies with all of his lunches. The owner has just given him some free cookies.)

14-Year-Old Regular: “Thanks a ton!”

(Another customer sees this, and starts yelling.)

Customer: “Why did that BRAT get free cookies? I DEMAND to know, AND get cookies complimentary with my order!”

14-Year-Old Regular: “I always assumed I got them because I’m not a douche-bag of a customer, unlike someone else.”

(The customer goes red and shuts up.)

Owner: “Isn’t he cute?”

Related:
A Real Life Cookie Monster