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Doesn’t Know The Tip Of Scriptural Meaning

| Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Religion

(I am a waitress at a restaurant. I’ve served a table and they are done with their meal but are just sitting and talking so I collect their empty dishes. When I do I discover that they’ve half hidden one of those fake $10 bills with John 3:16 written on it. I’m normally a pretty professional person, but I can’t help but speak up.)

Me: “Did you mean to leave this as a tip?”

Customer #1: “Yes. If you just accept Jesus Christ into your heart his love will be worth much more than any tip I could give you.”

Me: *pulls out cross necklace that I usually wear under my uniform* “Sir, I’m 32 years old and I’ve been a Christian since I was 17. I attend church twice a week unless I’m scheduled to work, and the God I know would tell me to lead by example. If you don’t want to tip your waitresses, fine, that’s your right, but please do not insult them or God by using Him as an excuse for it.”

(I tossed the “tip” back at him and take the dishes back to the kitchen leaving him dumbfounded. My manager intercepts me on my way back out to the dining room to check on my other tables.)

Manager: “Please go wait in the break room. I need to talk to you.”

(I do as he asks and I spend the next 10 minutes concerned that I am going to get written up or even fired.)

Manager: *walking into the break room* “So, I was going to write you up, but when I went out to talk to the table, three other tables informed me that if I fired you they were never coming back. I’m not going to write you up, but you really can’t do that. So why don’t you go home early today and come back tomorrow when you’re less aggravated?”

(I got my stuff and while I was on my way out I run into a customer that was sitting nearby in another waiter’s section.)

Customer #2: “Oh, no, you didn’t get fired, did you?”

Me: “No, I didn’t get fired. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Customer #2: “I’m glad. I hope this cheers you up.” *she writes something on the back of her receipt and hands it to me.*

(When I got home I looked up the bible verse she suggested, Proverbs 11:24-25: “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.)

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Holy Moly Ravioli!

| USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am a waiter at an Italian restaurant. I am serving two men and this happens…)

Man #1: “Your mushroom ravioli… Let me guess, the mushrooms are chopped up real fine…”

Man #2: “Tucked into a perfect pasta pocket…”

Man #1: “Dropped into lightly salted boiling water…”

Man #2: “Then finally encapsulated in a blanket of olive oil and herbs…”

Man #1: “Ready to feel the piercings of the fork…”

Man #2: “The mushrooms, the pasta, the herbs, that grated Parmesan, and freshly cracked black pepper. Oh, the explosion of flavor!”

Me: “So… two mushroom raviolis?”

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Has The Balls To Admit It

| Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(It’s a nice day and the patio of a local restaurant is full. I am at a table right next to a woman who is having a not-very-private conversation; the more she talked, the louder she got. Finally, at full volume…)

Woman: “But I can’t testify! I don’t have testiculars!”

(I have to say, if you get enough people snorting their drinks, the distance is impressive. The poor waiter just approached all the tables with a huge stack of napkins while shaking his head.)