icon_coffeedrinks

Extra-Extra Rude

| Westford, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: *smiling politely* “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Woman: “I would like an iced coffee extra-extra.” *normally this is extra sugar, extra cream*

(I ring her up take the money, make the coffee, and start on the next customer.)

Woman: “Um, miss, can you add some more coffee to this?”

Me: “Um, yeah, sure. Sorry about that; I’ll fix it right now.” *I fix it give the coffee back* “Is this better or do you want it darker?”

Woman: “You know if I wanted coffee with my cream and sugar I would have asked for that; now fix it.”

Me: “Sorry, I’ll just make you a new one.”

(The line is just getting longer and longer as I’m dealing with her.)

Me: “Here you go; is that better?”

Woman: “It’ll have to do.”

(I finally get to the next customer in line who is an older woman with her grandkids.)

Me: “Sorry about that; what can I get for you?”

Older Woman: “No need to apologize, dear. I’m sorry you have to deal with people like that.”

icon_fooddrink

She’s No Shrimping Violet

| Fort Davis, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, One-Liners, Popular

(I am working as a dishwasher at the town’s nicest restaurant, and after a couple of hours am badly in need of a bathroom break. The toilets are located in another section of the building, and I have to pass the entry in order to get to them. As I am hurrying along my way, an elderly gentleman guest grabs me by the wrist and asks in a very grave tone with a distinct German accent:)

Guest: “Excuse me, miss, but how are the shrimp?”

(Having no idea how to answer that question, I blurt the first answer that comes to mind.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I think they’re dead!”

(Howls of laughter followed me to the restroom…)

icon_awesome

Trying To Give The Waitress (Bread) Schtick

| Norman, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Popular

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m out to dinner with friends at an Italian restaurant famous for their breadsticks. I’m in a good mood and like interacting with the staff at restaurants.)

Waitress: “Hello, everyone, I’m [Waitress] and I’ll be serving you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

(We place our drink orders.)

Waitress: “Can I get you any appetizers?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but we definitely want the breadsticks. The breadsticks are the bomb. They’re the reason I come here.”

Waitress: “Not the excellent service?”

Me: “Depends on how many breadsticks the waitstaff brings me.”

(We all laugh and my friends roll their eyes at me. I’m known to make terrible puns and bad jokes with the wait staff, so they figure this is just another one of those times. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: *places two baskets of breadsticks on the table* “Technically I’m not supposed to do this, but here’s two baskets. Don’t say you didn’t get the best service from me!”

Me: “Why, thank you so much! These are awesome! Someone’s looking for a good tip!” *winks*

Waitress: *grins back* “Just doing my job.”

(After we finish our dinner, we ask for to-go boxes.)

Waitress: *to me* “Wow, looks like you didn’t eat much of your food! Not terribly hungry?”

Me: “Well… you brought us so much bread.”

(Everyone laughs.)

Waitress: *after a pause* “Okay, that’s it! No dessert for you tonight!”

(She comes back and gives us our to-go boxes.)

Waitress: “Would anybody like dessert?”

Me: “Oh, not me. I ate too—”

Waitress: “Oh, not you. You don’t get dessert, remember? You just sit in your little corner there.”

Me: *sheepishly turns to the wall trying to act pouty*

(In the end we all had a good laugh and a great time at dinner. I left her a hefty tip for playing along.)