He Has Beef With The Cheese

, | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want a cheeseburger, with no cheese.”

Me: “Okay, so that’s one hamburger—”

Customer: “NO. I want a CHEESE-burger with no CHEESE.”

Me: “Right. So that’s a hamburger—”

Customer: “NO! God, are you deaf or something? I want a f****** CHEESEBURGER with no f****** CHEESE!”

Me: “…okay, so that’s cheeseburger, no cheese.”

Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?”

He Only Wants The White Meat

, | Manchester, England, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

(I am working on a till at a popular fast food restaurant, where we serve fried chicken. One of the more popular drinks is a white chocolate milkshake. I have just finished handing out an order when a father and his son come up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi there! Welcome to [name of restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

Father: “Yes. Can I have a white chocolate chicken meal and a fried milkshake?”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard* “I’m very sorry; what did you say?”

Father: *irritated* “A white chocolate chicken meal, and a fried milkshake!”

(I look at the son, and we both exchange puzzled looks.)

Father: “Look, it’s just a white chocolate chicken meal and a fried milkshake! What’s so hard—”

(The son bursts out laughing; the father looks down confused.)

Father: “What? You did want a white choco—”

Son: “Dad! Think about what you just said!”

Father: “I remember! A white chocolate chi—”

(He suddenly realizes what he has said before, and covers his eyes with his hand.)

Father: “I didn’t just say that, did I?”

Son: “You did!”

Father: “Very sorry about that. A white chocolate MILKSHAKE, and a fried chicken meal, please?”

Thou Shall Find Lovecraft Online, Ramen

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Religion, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m a waitress in a popular buffet chain restaurant. I am serving a middle aged customer who is wearing a shirt that has a picture of Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a heart. Beneath it is the caption ‘we met on the internet’.)

Me: “That’s a great shirt!”

Woman: “Thanks. I think it says a lot about the kind of people you find on the internet.”

Me: “How do you mean?”

Woman: “You know, how there’s nothing but monsters online.”

To see the t-shirt design mentioned in this story, visit the NotAlwaysRomantic Extras section, which can be found here!