Rare, Medium, And Free

| Covington, LA, USA | Food & Drink

(This occurs on a very slow day. I’m the only person working the cafeteria and register.)

Customer: “I finally found a decent meal down here!”

(She proceeds to show me her tray. It consists of various food items and drinks, one if which is a burnt pork chop. I ring her up anyway, as the customers serve themselves.)

Customer: *looking at the receipt* “You charged me $1.90 for that pork chop?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s the price of the pork chops.”

Customer: “But it’s burnt.”

Me: “If you don’t want that one, you can pick another.”

Customer: “No, I wanted it burnt. I like my pork chops cooked really well. Can’t you give it to me for free?”

Me: “You want a free pork chop because it’s burnt, but you wanted it burnt?”

Customer: “I told you, I like my pork chops burnt!”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t not charge you for the food if you’re still going to eat it.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This cafeteria is just trying to rip us all off!”

You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

| USA | Food & Drink

(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

Customer: “You missed the cake.”

Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Rude As Sin In Sin City

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Wow, you’re ugly as sin.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This is Vegas! You girls are supposed to be hot. I can’t believe they’d hire an ugly girl in Vegas!”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a more attractive waitress?”

Customer: “Yes, definitely!”

An Empty Compliment Deserves An Empty Stomach

| Brisbane, Australia | Food & Drink

(I am working one day I am serving a man in his late 60’s.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, hello! I like your hair!”

Me: *taken aback* “Oh, thank you!”

Customer: *beaming* “Just kidding!”

Carpal Cola, Please

, | Parkersburg, WV, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m working the register at a college cafeteria when a girl about my age walks up. She has a cast wrapped around her hand and wrist.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I broke my hand. Can I get a free bottle of pop?”

Me: “Um, I can ask my manager.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I go to the back office and tell my manager what just happened. He’s a really nice guy, but in this situation he just looks at me in disbelief and says no. I go back out to the register.)

Me: “Sorry, my manager says no.”

Customer: “Okay.” *laughs* “It was worth a try!”

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