You’ve Rubbed Me The Wrong Way

| Aurora, Colorado, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(A customer is ordering on drive-thru.)

Me: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “Five thousand dollars?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just a cashier, not a genie. Will that be all?”

Customer: *defeated sigh* “Yes…”

The Ire Of The Irish

| Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

(I’m Irish and am working in the States one summer, waiting tables at an Irish pub/restaurant. I’m serving a couple in their 30s.)

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from Ireland.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “It’s in Europe.”

Customer: “Oh, you’re from another country! Your English is really good!”

Burnt To Order

| San Jose, CA, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “And would you like white toast with that?”

Customer: “No, I want black toast.”

Me: “I don’t…I don’t think that exists, sir.”

Customer: “BLACK TOAST.”

Me: “Wheat it is, then, sir.”

Bananas Explodé

| Brussels, Belgium | Food & Drink

(I’m preparing bananas flambé in front of several customers. Suddenly, one of them speaks up excitedly.)

Customer: “Wow, that looks so cool! Are you using gasoline?”

Who’s Dating Who

| California, USA | Food & Drink

(I work as a server in a popular restaurant. This happens on the toughest day of the restaurant year: Valentine’s Day. A couple in their 20s has just been served their meal.)

Me: “How are you both doing this evening? Can I bring you anything else?”

Customer: “We aren’t doing very well at all! You aren’t doing nearly as much as you can to make my lady feel special!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to make you both feel special this evening. I thought you might want to be the one to make your lady feel extra special.”

Customer: “It’s not my job to make her feel special. It’s your job!”

Customer’s date: *looks like she wants to die of embarrassment*

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