Ruining It For Everyone

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]! How many?”

Customer: “Two. And we’re vegetarian.”

Me: “You’re in luck, ma’am, we have some excellent vegetarian dishes.”

(I seat the customers and head back to my spot. A few minutes later, the woman storms up to me.)

Customer: ”I said I was vegetarian!”

Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: ”The people in the booth next to me are eating meat!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not going to stop selling meat products to other customers just because you won’t eat them.”

Customer: “But I’m vegetarian!”

It’s The Secret Sauce

| Orem, UT, USA | Food & Drink

(I take to-go orders over the phone. This was a call from one of our daily customers.)

Customer: “I was also wondering if you had areola sauce?”

Me: “Um…sorry. What was that?”

Customer: “Areola sauce! Someone’s asking for it.”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

(In the background, someone yells and everyone starts laughing.)

Customer: “Oh God! Is that what I said? Well, s***. That’s definitely not what I want.”

(After nearly ten minutes of laughing and getting nowhere in their order, the phone gets passed around until someone can stop laughing long enough to talk. I gave them some free dessert for making my week.)

Papa’s Not Home

, | Niceville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

(This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

Sorry, You’re Toast

, | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

(The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

(The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

For The Sake Of Demonstration

, | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

(This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

Coworker: “What?“

Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

(He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

Me: “Oh, my.”

Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

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