DWC: Driving While Caffeinated

| Aberdeen, UK | Food & Drink

(I work in a restaurant. This conversation takes place when I am clearing plates away from a couple’s table.)

Me: “Would you like any tea or coffee?”

Customer: “Yes, please, I’ll have a latte.”

Me: “No problem.” *turning to customer’s husband* “Would you like any tea or coffee?”

Husband: “No coffee for me, thanks. I’m driving.”

Me: *blank look*

Not Big On Beef That’s Big

| Brampton, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Will the ribs come cut up?”

Me: “No, they’ll be a full rack.”

Customer: “Oh, can I get them cut up?”

Me: “I’m afraid the kitchen doesn’t do that.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, if the meat is too big, it scares me!”

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 5

| Jackson, WY, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “All of today’s specials and all of the sandwiches on the menu come with your choice of soup or salad or potato salad. What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “You say that the sandwiches come with salad?”

Me: “That’s correct. So do all of the specials. You can get soup, salad, or potato salad.”

Customer: *pointing to the sandwich side of the menu* “So, all of these come with salad?”

Me: “Yup, or soup or potato salad. All of ’em.”

Customer: “What about this option?” *pointing to a particular sandwich* “Does this come with salad?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that one too. You can also choose soup or potato salad.”

Customer: “I’ll have that one, then.”

Me: “Okay, what would you like as your side?”

Customer: “What are my choices?”

Me: *speechless*

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 4
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

I’m Falling To Pieces

, | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

(We have a survey that pops up randomly when receipts print out. The customers can go to a website and receive a code for a free sandwich upon completion of the survey. We only accept receipts with the codes written on it.)

Me: “Do you have a coupon for me, sir?”

Customer: *hands me coupon* “I’d like to redeem my free sandwich.”

Me: *looks at coupon* “Sir, there is no code on this receipt. I cannot accept this coupon.”

(The customer rips it out of my hand, tears it up into several pieces and throws it on the floorboard.)

Friend: “We’ll just pay for the sandwich, then.”

(Still infuriated, the customer picks the receipt pieces back off the floorboard and continues to rip them into smaller pieces, throwing them back on the ground.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

Knowing Is Half The Battle

| Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m a server in my restaurant. The Sunday lunch crowd is usually the elderly. An older gentleman and his wife are seated, and I take their drink order.)

Me: “Would you like anything else to drink besides water?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a drink.”

Me: “Okay, what kind?”

(He doesn’t respond and looks at me for a while.)

Me: “We have canned soda: Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew, Sunkist, iced tea, hot tea, coffee–”

Customer: “Yes, I want a can.”

Me: “Um, I…” *smile* “Which one?”

(He stares at me for a good while, like I should know better. Finally, his wife chimes in.)

Wife: “He’d like a Coke, please.”

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