Water You, Stupid, Part 5

| California, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like a kid’s bean and cheese burrito.”

Me: “Alright, would you like a fountain drink, juice, or milk?”

Customer: *turns to her child* “Okay, do you want soda or juice?”

Customer’s daughter: “I just want water.”

Customer: “But soda’s better for you!”

Related:
Water You, Stupid, Part 4
Water You, Stupid, Part 3
Water You, Stupid, Part 2
Water You, Stupid

Inexorably Inconsiderate

, | Guelph, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(The customer is four cents short for his order.)

Customer, to friend: “Hey man, do you have a nickel or something?”

Friend: “Yeah man, here.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. I’ll just get some out of here.”

(He reaches into the tip jar.)

Customer: “Can I just take out four cents from in here?”

Me: “Um, no. That’s actually our tip jar–”

Customer: “Too late. It’s happening.”

Me: *speechless*

Keep That Style To Yourself

, | Stockton, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I take orders at a fast food restaurant. We have a secret menu with special type of fry we call “animal style”, which is pretty popular. A customer walks up.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today? How may I help you?”

Customer: “I have heard about this secret style french fry you guys make. Could I have one order of french fries, doggy style, please?”

Me: “Um…do you mean animal style fries?”

Customer: *turning red* “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

I Meant What I Said And I Said What I Meant

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

Customer #1: “Um, I’d like a quickie.”

Me: *offended* “EXCUSE ME?”

Customer#1: “A quickie!” *licks his lips*

(Offended, I skip him and serve the next table.)

Customer #2: *apparently having overheard* “I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”

Me, to customer #1: “Oh! You meant quiche?”

Customer #1: “No!”

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

Right Place, Wrong Menu

| Galveston, TX, USA | Food & Drink

(After staring at the menu displayed above the counter, a man finally approaches me to place an order.)

Customer: “I’d like the large popcorn chicken.”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard him* “I’m sorry, sir, what was that?”

Customer: “The large popcorn chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have popcorn chicken here.”

(He steps back to examine the large menu, complete with pictures, once again. He takes a minute or two before stepping forward again.)

Customer: “Can I get a half dozen drumsticks and some mashed potatoes?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any of those either.”

(He steps back again, and looks up at the menu again, as I wait, rather perplexed. He seems to finally realize what he’s looking at.)

Customer: “This is McDonald’s, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.” *leaves looking embarrassed*

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